Basses Rätt i Skafferiet - Julbord!


Uploaded by MonteFjanton on 22.12.2011

Transcript:
Merry Christmas, and welcome to Basse Cooks Stuff! Today it's Little Christmas Eve**, but that's not all: it's the season finale for Basse Cooks Stuff!
And therefore we are going to make not just one, but three dishes! We are going to make a small Julbord!***
Basse Cooks Stuff (approximately)
The first thing we're going to do is one of the most important components of a Julbord: Christmas Ham. And for that, we need:
Kassler, red cabbage, Glögg, a saffron bun, and some roasted onions.
Start by peeling the kassler.
Take out a pot and put the kassler in it.
Pour in a lot of glögg.
Spice it up with various stuff, like... juniper berries. If you want a lot of taste, you should take two berries. So we'll take five!
This.
Some Indian spices that I can't pronounce, because Scanians can't do that.
Turmeric.
While the kassler boils up, we are going to make our next dish: Breaded Gingerbread. And for that we need:
Gingerbread dough, flour, breadcrumbs, eggs, lemon juice, and piri piri.
Sprinkle some flour.
Take out some gingerbread dough.
Now it's done. Press out some gingerbread.
Ah, they're nice. They're beautiful. It's art.
Take out an egg, flour and breadcrumbs.
Put piri piri and lemon juice in the egg.
And whip it!
Now we're going to bread them!
And now we're going to fry them.
It's classy, in every meaning of the word.***
Now when they are done, let's check how our ham is doing.
It's ready.
Now when it's ready, we are going to make a frosting out of a crumbled saffron bun, some red cabbage and roasted onions.
And mix it.
Yeah, now we need something to dilute it... Julmust!
Frost the ham.
Put it in the oven.
And while that is in the oven, we are going to make our final dish: Basse's Casserole!***** And for that, we need:
Potatoes, brown cabbage, canned meat or something I dunno..., pickled herring with onions, pasta suace, raisins and salted peanuts.
Peel the potatoes.
Chop up the potatoes.
Pour a can of pickled herring on it.
Some peanuts.
Some brown cabbage.
Some raisins.
And some pasta sauce.
I think the ham is ready now.
Last but not least, we are going to have some canned meat. Now I just need to find out how to open this thing.
Smells like cat food.
Chop up the... lump.
Now we are going to stir it up a little, to hide the worst bits.
Now we need some breadcrumbs.
And garnish with a true Christmas classic: Santa Claus Marshmallows.
Now the casserole is ready to go into the oven.
Now that everything is ready, we are going to serve it. But we aren't going to have a regular serving: we are going to have a Christmas dinner!
And that dinner will take place here!
- It actually smells good. - What is that!?
- I'll take the outer part. - It smells like gingerbread.
- Ah, no! It smells like pee! Seriously, smell it. - Oh, I can smell it. I don't want to do this!
- Not very good. - It's probably the only thing on this show that has been edible.
- It doesn't taste very much. You haven't succeeded. - I don't even know if I can describe it. - Something tastes very bad here...
- It's like chewing on something, what do say, very dry. - But the ham was good! - And then it just tastes like poop.
- No no no! Not when you've got this far!
- I didn't even get everything, and it still tasted like crap.
- I have puke in my mouth. Come on! - Imagine that there are small sweaty trolls running around in your mouth and punching your tongue.
- It wasn't too bad. - I'm crying! - It tastes like sweat!
- Yeah! Let's tuck in!
- Reminds me of schnitzel. - It tastes like the pie at McDonald's. - It's like shortcrust pastry, or puff pastry or whatever it's called.
- It doesn't make me want to throw up when I try it. - Tastes like something half-rotten out of McDonald's.
- It's as if you mixed gingerbread and schnitzel. - Why am I eating more of it!? - A future Christmas classic.
- Oh damn!
- It was mostly just dry. - It wasn't good at all. - Still doesn't make you want to puke.
- What is this, raw ground beef? - There. Oohh, on with the lid again! - You realize that I'm going to throw up, right?
- Eat! 3, 2, EAT! - I can't get it down!
- It was sweet. Why was it sweet!?
- Seriously, it was horrible! - You can't even eat it! - What is it, ice cream?
- No, wait! I know what it is! Melted Santa Claus marshmallows!
- Yummy! Good job!
- Why did you throw up? - I hate pickled herring.
- Merry Christmas. - You probably have best poker face ever. Or just the worst tastebuds ever.
- I'm a bit disappointed, but to be less disappointed I would have to eat more, and I don't want to.
- So I guess I'm proud of you, except I'm not, because you're horrible people.
- That's all for today, and that's all for this season! We will be back next year with some brand new episodes! So Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year!
- Do you want me to cut out the parts where you throw up? - What, NO! We're having it in the episode!