The Guild - S4 Ep 4: Moving On!


Uploaded by watchtheguild on Feb 28, 2011

Transcript:
I'm not a slut. I'm NOT! I am a good girl!
The worst thing I've ever done is sniff a permanent marker.
But it was only fifteen seconds tops,
and the whole time I was screaming inside "Stop! Cancer! Stop!"
What did I misunderstand about that date?
We got along great. Oh, that rhymes.
With a little logic and a mild panic attack,
I convinced Fawkes to meet me for a non-date deductible business meeting.
I'm gonna figure out what happened, deal with him calmly.
And then we will go out again. We have to! A one-time deal?
What is the guild gonna think?
I'm their priest! I have a virtual reputation to uphold!
So I just wanted to understand...
some of the nuances of the other night more clearly, heh.
Uhm, why are we not going out again... Again?
Codex, you bested me in one-on-one combat in the Kunlandia arena,
and for that you have earned my respect.
However I have a strict one-date only policy.
OK that part - why?
I am an Epicurean.
It is my goal in this life to experience all that woman-kind has to offer.
I sample once and then I move on.
Yeah but-but we... We have so much in common...
- Such as? - Well the game!
And we both use the Internet t-to play the game and we both... you know what?
There is definitely something here
or I would never have let you plug into my port!
Oh we had great chemistry, that is undeniable.
See?! That's something! I mean...
You were talking about how we were all base and animaly and stuff and...
Wait... You're not a furry are you?
I haven't gotten to that part of the list yet, no.
OK so, let's go out again!
I mean look at us right now! This is like so super-fun!
Honey, don't beg a guy to date you. That is just sorry business.
- Out of the mouths of babes. - Ooh! You are yuuummmy.
OK, you don't wanna see me again? That's fine. I can deal with that.
But the thing is, I kinda told the guild about us...
You told your guild about our one night of passionate monkey sex?!
It kinda came up in conversation. So I'm just gonna tell the guild
that we're still going out for just a little while longer,
and I would appreciate it if you would cover for me.
Could you do that for me? Please?
Wow, you've really put a lot of thought into this.
Yes. All night, last night. Obsessively.
OK. What's in it for me?
I make... good brownies!
[Bladezz] Hey! Our only two customers!
I wanted to stop by to see what was causing all the guild turmoil.
We're causing turmoil in your guild?
Oh yeah! Tink's having a fit, Zaboo almost had a heart attack.
Really?
MMMMwaaah! Post that on your guild's forum.
Yes, sir!
- OK Codex, I'll cover for you. - Thank you. Thank you very much.
I don't want you feel ashamed about what happened between us.
You are in elite company. Last year at Comic Con,
I bedded the creator of the comic "Circuitra, Robot Princess."
Oh! I love that... Never mind.
I've noted every single gold vein in the game atlas.
If you camp the lower quadrant...
Yeah, Vork, I can't help you with the Guild Hall, buddy.
I am neck-deep in my quest for understanding women.
And this lady-quiz is gonna tell me my effectiveness as a supportive sidekick.
No one in the world would find that interesting.
Question number 8: "Your best friend's boyfriend broke up with her.
Do you A) pamper her with a trip to a relaxing day spa,
B) take her out for salsa dancing,
or C) comfort her with a tear-jerker movie and ice cream?"
- C. - Why C?
The majority of multiple choice answers are always C.
In addition, comfort requires emotional commitment,
and salsa dancing is performed in poor lighting.
Now get out your pick-axe and start a-mining!
Ugh. Fine. [Red-alert sound]
Aww, dude. It's my mom. I mean, what should I do?
If you're not mining, you're dead to me.
Alright, I'm gonna answer it.
I have you on speaker-phone, I'm not alone!
Sujan? It's SO nice to hear your voice.
Did you get the cyber-vite for my birthday?
Uh, yes, but I'm not gonna make it. And I noticed that you invited Dad,
and he's dead so he's probably not gonna make it either.
That's alright. This call is the best present I could ever have!
OK... Uhm. Is that it?
That's all. Goodbye.
What? No guilt trips? No screaming? What's going on?
Is she being held hostage? Is there a ransom? I'm not going to pay it.
I said nothing, corpse. Carry on.
Question number 9: "If your friendship was a food..."
- C. - C...
He stuck you with the bill too! I have to take lessons from this guy.
Shut up! It was a great second date. We're SO into each other.
Hmph.
And why don't we talk about something that's your business!
Like my computer that you supposedly fixed that barely works!
How am I supposed to play?
Oh! OK, gimme fifty bucks for a second house call, I'll check it out.
Fifty bucks? I told you I'm really poor! You're supposed to be my friend!
Jesus woman, you need to be tranked!
I'm sorry. It's just I'm so stressed right now.
I just have to have a computer!
For the Guild Hall, for living... This is like so important.
OK! Don't leak. If you need quick-dough, Bladezz will hook you up. Go!
So, Sherman. Just, uh... Who are you to Simon here?
- Uh, it's complicated. - She's my cousin.
- The one who had boob surgery? - Yeah, she made them smaller.
Went too far. So you ever work in food service?
- I used to be a musician. - Musician, eh?
Well, I used to be semi-professional myself.
A pirate balladeer.
"So they whacked me up, and whacked me down,
the first mate cracked me upon the crown,
and then he buggered me round and round when I was just a shaver."
Lovely baritone.
Oh! I also sing first tenor!
Well I... I'd like to throw ye a life jacket, lass, but uhm...
I'm not hirin' right now. Nah, business is in the bilge.
Aah! Come on boss, she's old and reliable-looking.
Can't she swab something?
Look, you have a computer. Drool!
Oh, that. I never turn on the blasted contraption.
Wait, you've never turned it on? Poor thing. Uh... Do you need it?
Oh why, yes it-it serves me well as a... paper weight!
Can I sit here and use it...? To help you... with business?
- How? - Uh... websites!
Yes, websites and... And social networking.
They can all get people into your restaurant. Right?
- You can do that? - Yes!
Well flog my jolly boat!
Whoa-whoa-whoa! OK, I'm cool with throwing you a bone,
but if there's fun, white-collar work to be done,
I'll be the guy paid to do it.
Oh, no way lad, gotta have ye where I need ye. Grub master, below decks.
B-b-but I.. I...
Then I will do it! I am the lassie for the job. Heh.
Never say ol' Black Ollie didn't parlay with progress. Hee-hee.
Missy, I'll give ye a split of the booty
if you can crew up those tables out there. Deal?
Aye-aye, Captain!
- Arrgghh! - Arrgghh! Hee, hee.