RONALD REAGAN BIRTHDAY - Harry Shearer: Found Objects

Uploaded by MyDamnChannel on 05.02.2011


ANNOUNCER: The scoreboard is ready.
The stadium sitting there with its 80,000 and more seats,
each with its own individual cushion, because these are
just plain wooden bleacher seats, basically.
But that's what it looks like one hour before the gates open
for Super Bowl XIX.
The playing field, of course, is real grass.
It's a little dew-covered right now, but in excellent
condition for the game coming up.
You know, it isn't often these days that ABC Sports gets to
cover an event for the very first time.
We have never covered the Superbowl, not until today.

O. J. SIMPSON: Hello, I'm O. J. Simpson.
TOM LANDRY: And I'm Coach Landry, and we'll give you our
analysis of this great matchup.
And we will also give you our prediction as to who we think
will win this game.
O. J. SIMPSON: We disagree, incidentally.



MALE SPEAKER 1: I need the President's mic open, please.
Palo Alto will control the president's microphone.
MALE SPEAKER 2: [INAUDIBLE] normal level.
MALE SPEAKER 1: Normal level.
You understand that--
MALE SPEAKER 2: Put someone in.
We want to do a lip sync check.
MALE SPEAKER 1: Lip sync check.
[INAUDIBLE] the mic again.

MALE SPEAKER 3: Testing one, two, three,
from the White House.
Testing one, two, three, from the White House.
This is the White House.
ANNOUNCER: We are moments away from the introduction of the
two football teams.

PRESIDENT REAGAN: Hey, looks like they're getting ready.
MALE SPEAKER 4: Put this around and under your belt,
Mr. President.
MALE SPEAKER 5: I'm going to put these in your back pocket,
Mr. President, so--
PRESIDENT REAGAN: I don't have a back pocket.
You'll have to put it in here.
MALE SPEAKER 1: Mr. President, Roone Arledge, president of
ABC Sports, sends a message to you, thanking you very much
for cooperating with--
PRESIDENT REAGAN: Oh, give him my best, please do.

MALE SPEAKER 4: All right, sir, I think you
can drop your coat.
PRESIDENT REAGAN: And I could stoop over and everything.
Well, I may not have to.
MALE SPEAKER 1: If you'll just cheat just a little bit in the
direction of this camera, I'm going to pick up your mark.
Let me see how this works.
MALE SPEAKER 1: I have a suggestion for you, sir.
We tried it 100 times before you came in.
Just extend your arm just a little bit.

MALE SPEAKER 1: Would you like to try it again?
PRESIDENT REAGAN: Oops, no, not that one.

MALE SPEAKER 1: You'll play to this camera.
This camera on the left.
PRESIDENT REAGAN: Play to that one.
MALE SPEAKER 1: Yes, sir, and your cues will come right out
of this speaker here.
You'll first be introduced by the head
referee, Pat Haggerty.

This second camera is strictly backup, sir.
Just play just to this camera.

Are you comfortable?
I have to tell you.
Frank Sinatra had a recommendation instead of
tossing the coin, what would have been a lot better, if
you'd have had me outdoors throwing out the ball.
I would've thrown it.
No, wait a minute.
A little artwork of maybe a ball going across a map, and
out there, one of them catching a ball as if it was
thrown all the way across the United States.
How about that?
MALE SPEAKER 1: We're about three minutes away.
PRESIDENT REAGAN: No, I think I just, well--

MALE SPEAKER 1: I'll ask you to turn your attention to the
camera when it's time.

Sir, are you comfortable with the audio level?

MALE SPEAKER 4: We're going to commercial.
MALE SPEAKER 1: We're about three minutes away.

MALE SPEAKER 4: Who's your favorite, Mr. President?
MALE SPEAKER 4: Who's your favorite?
PRESIDENT REAGAN: The fellow that's tossing the coin can't
have favorites.
PRESIDENT REAGAN: And I don't want anyone to remember that
I'm from California.

PRESIDENT REAGAN: There may be an announcement forthcoming
about some changes in tomorrow.

We have--
we've been given some medical advice as to what threatens--

for one thing, we're thinking of cancelling the parade.

It is estimated that the wind chill factor tomorrow will be
between 20 and 30 below zero.
And in that, in about 15 minutes, exposed flesh--
MALE SPEAKER 1: Frostbite.

MALE SPEAKER 6: Let's go to Miami and do
this tomorrow, huh?
MALE SPEAKER 1: When we come into this commercial, I'm
going to ask everyone to be quiet, please.

STADIUM ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, to honor America,
we present the Super Bowl Children's Choir singing our
National Anthem.

MALE SPEAKER 4: What's the temperature out there today?
I do know that the halftime ceremony is an entirely Air
Force, military personnel entertainment group.
Hello, Ashley.

TV ANNOUNCER: The balloons are released.
The national anthem.
Behind us, over 1,300 umbrellas depicting Old Glory.

A crowd of 85,000 now on their feet.
And we'll be returning to Stanford Stadium in Stanford
for a very unusual flip of the coin to determine the kickoff.
Stay with us.
MALE SPEAKER 7: That's you.
MALE SPEAKER 7: Very unusual.

PRESIDENT REAGAN: Remember that old radio gag, mic fear?
Used to say to the new beginner there, now look, you
just stand there in front of a mic, and just, you know, don't
think about the fact that 3 million people are listening
to you, hearing every word you say.
And they'd--

MALE SPEAKER 2: Standing by.

PRESIDENT REAGAN: Get off, I'm on.

MALE SPEAKER 1: Stand by, Mr. President.
When we come out of this commercial, we'll begin the
coin toss ceremony.
STADIUM ANNOUNCER: For today's coin toss, entering from the
Dolphin's sideline, our referee, Pat Haggerty, and
MALE SPEAKER 1: Don't worry about the video, sir.

TV COMMENTATOR: It's still hard to believe, on your left,
Dan Marino, 55 touchdowns on this season.
On your right, of course, Joe Montana.
He had a superb year, 32 touchdowns through the regular
season, and the playoffs.
And they are only moments away from getting it on.
Here's Dan Marino.
You just have to kind of have to wonder whether or not he is
as cool and calm as he has appeared to be.
Impressive numbers, record-setting numbers
throughout this season.
Meanwhile, down on the field, Pat Haggerty, who will be our
referee for today's game, has been joined by one of the
co-captains, and great running backs, Hugh McElhenny, of the
49ers, Minnesota Vikings and the Giants.
Let's join our PA announcer.
STADIUM ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, please give a Super
Bowl XIX welcome to the all-time great running back of
the 49ers, who with the referee, Pat Haggerty, will
conduct a coin toss for today's game, Hugh McElhenny.
PAT HAGGERTY: Captains, will you
introduce yourself, please.

Joining us for the toss of the coin, the President of the
United States, Mr. Ronald Reagan.

PRESIDENT REAGAN: Mr. McElhenny, it's a distinct
pleasure and a privilege for me to be a participant,
although I wish I could be a participant closer at hand.
But who makes the call?
HUGH MCELHENNY: Mr. President, the Dolphins are the visiting
team, and Dwight Stephenson will make the call.

Captain Stephenson, what will you call?
HUGH MCELHENNY: The Dolphins called heads.
Mr. President, will you please toss the coin?

PAT HAGGERTY: San Francisco has won the toss.
Do you want the ball?
Which goal will you defend?
Will you put your back to the goal, please?

San Francisco won the toss and will receive.
Miami will kick and defend the north goal.
HUGH MCELHENNY: Mr. President, thank you
for joining us today.
PRESIDENT REAGAN: Well, thank you.
It was a privilege, and all I can say is something that used
to be a little prayer of min when I played football myself.
May everyone do their best, may there be no injuries, may
the best team win, and no one have regrets.

TV COMMENTATOR: Well, you have to admit, the toss of the coin
was pretty impressive for Superbowl XIX.

PRESIDENT REAGAN: Wouldn't you know that we flipped that
three or four times--

MALE SPEAKER 4: That's going back to the NFL, to Mr.--