The Guild - S2 Ep9: Grouping Up


Uploaded by watchtheguild on Sep 18, 2009

Transcript:
What a d-bag!
Leading me on when he's got a girlfriend?
Grandma was right.
Guys think a woman is just
a life support system for a vagina.
So, after I got loomed over by...
Stupid... Tall Hot Girl...
I ran home, logged on with Tink and Clara,
cried a little, and...
then while I was really vulnerable
Clara convinced me that girl's night was a good idea.
And it is! Why should the boy Guildies have all the fun?
Screw those... men people!
I should let my therapist know I'm reaching out to reinforce
my connection with other women.
"...be completed as dialed"
Call blocking?
"or call your operator to..."
Hey! Wow, nice dress!
I thought we were going all casual and man-hatey.
- I have a date at 7:30. - What?
But... that's like a half-hour from now.
Yeah, I was hopping for some more traffic.
Can you give me a heads-up so I can jet on time? Thanks.
But... I made us a low-carb dinner.
I got out my scrapbooking scissors!
Oohh, scrapbooking!
I'm not getting that.
Excuse me, this is a private residence. I...
This... wow, this is my address.
And... approximately my face.
So, uh, where's the brew?
I have chamomile tea.
Beer incoming!
Oohh, I'm sorry.
Clara, did you make this?
Yeah... sorry I gave you ugly face.
I sketched it on a Gummi high.
Dudes, you made it!
Thanks... very much.
Clara, do you know these guys?
Not a clue! But the Guild ladies are having fun tonight!
The boys got such a head start on us, they're probably loaded
and having a good ole time already!
And in the third stage of encounter
with the Spider Lord Grakanesh,
it's necessary to station magic users
at both cave entrances.
- Zaboo, you're over here... - Dude, why am I a heart?
You name begins with a Z,
and you are, therefore, the last to be assigned a symbol.
It was the only one remaining.
The only one?!
There's like a million symbols you could have drawn.
You gotta give me something manly like a trident,
or a beard! I mean, come on, man!
You're supposed to be supporting me!
I'm tolerating your presence, what more do you want?
Well, for one I'd like to move my bed.
It's hard to wake up to birds doing it.
It kind of gets into my dreams.
The squab were here first.
Next slide, please.
Now, this is, uhm... This is a whole 'nother hobby entirely..
Alright, Bladezz signed up for man night,
not bickering old fart night.
Pardon me for being goal-oriented,
but I didn't design this evening for leisure.
This is a prime opportunity
to refine our fight strategies offline.
So get your head out of my craw!
Better idea.
I'm gonna hook up my console, and we're gonna kill things.
And, of course, I'm willing to take, uhm...
a friendly wager or two on body counts.
Now we're talking!
Testosterone'd.
Man, these jacks back here are all... jacked!
Yeah, it's... it's all black and white. What the...?
Black and white?? No way! Oh, wow.
How do you think they get the color out of it?
It has antennae capability,
which is the most important thing.
That will come in handy during a nuclear fallout, or...
or a race war.
Alright, so... no console. What do we do now?
Oh, wait! Lookie here! I've got some cards.
You wanna macho it up? Let's play some poker.
Sure! What site you wanna log-on?
No, like, real cards. Like... actual paper. Hello?
What is the advantage of that?
The interface is better online,
it's cleaner, and we don't have to look at each other.
Ditto'd.
Alright, I'll be right back.
Clara, you jostled my trackpad finger!
Hi! Nice to meet you.
Clara, I don't know these people!
That's the point of the party, duh!
So you can get your mind off the Stunt Guy spitting you out
like a cheap piece of gristle!
And you get to meet your new neighbors!
Like the ones from the restaurant next door:
Enrique, Jared, this is Codex.
- Hi. - Hello.
Hola.
Clara, how many flyers did you hand out?
Hundreds. And a spam bot newsletter.
Listen, I haven't been out without a kid on my boob
in the past three years. So let's take this,
and make it crazy! Right, Tink?
Oh, this is gonna be awesome!
Sure, for the next ten and a half minutes. Par-tay.
This is a great party, man!
I'm sorry I insulted your squab earlier.
This place is way more fun to crash at than at Codex's.
A lot less tears.
Hey, maybe I can start clearing out the guest room
by auctioning all that stuff off online.
I can have my own room by 2012. Oh, man!
Money?
For articles I get for free?
I like you.
Dude, what happened to the network?
I lost my connection too! What the... ?
Where's Bladezz?
BLADEZZ!!!
These are cheese toast spell books,
that's cream cheese bread, the basil represents a life bar.
And the cookies, I cut out in the shape of weapons.
That's a mace.
Cool, give me one of those froasted broadswords.
You know what? Clara's right. The party is working.
I haven't thought about Wade all night.
Except just now. Damn it.
At least I'm not depressed!
I'm too busy worrying about
strangers going through my medicine cabin.
Relax.
All the good stuff is gone anyway.
Oh my God! The Stunt Guy is here!
And he's with the Stupid Tall Hot Girl!
I'm sorry, did I spit on you?