Travie McCoy Gets Wasted at a Frat Party


Uploaded by vice on 01.06.2012

Transcript:

TRAVIE MCCOY: Salutations.
I'm Travie McCoy, and I have a crazy story for you.
You see, we're a bunch of gutter punks, and hip hop kids
going to this frat party.
From the moment that we walked into the party, it was just--
MALE SPEAKER: What the--
TRAVIE MCCOY: You could feel the tension.
You could cut it with a knife.
We definitely didn't belong there.
The first thing I do is dart straight for the refrigerator.
And there's all these colorful jello shots that
didn't belong to me.
But in my head, they did.
So I just started destroying them.
And all of a sudden, this girl rushes in to the kitchen like,
who the fuck are you?
These are my jello shots.
I spent all night making them, blah, blah, blah.
Proceeded to go upstairs.
I remember speaking to this girl, trying to woo her.
The jello shots started to kick in.
I started sweating.
The next thing you know, it was just like this bomb pop of
nastiness, which was the jello shots flying out of
my mouth onto her.
All those beautiful colors ended up on her shirt.
I remember going downstairs, and the first thing I see is a
chair fly across the hallway.
It was just madness.
People were being thrown, chairs were being thrown.
There was a kid that was actually in the corner with
pool balls, throwing them at people.
And they'd duck, and he's just throwing them at people.
What the--
A friend of mine, Kathy.
She looks like me without-- minus the beard, I think.
So I don't know, if this dude mistakes her
for a dude or not.
But all I remember was him hitting her, and I seen that
from across the room.
I just remember locking eyes with this dude.
Like, with the power of Jesus, I cocked back.
Boom!
And tried to knock this dude's lower jaw off of this face.
There was beer all over the floor, so when I followed
through, I slipped and landed on my back.
And I looked to my right.
And my right foot had bent up.
Looking down and seeing this basketball sized chunk of
flesh beating to the same rate of my heart.
Crazy part is, after the whole night, we actually had to rush
back and get ready for this funeral.
So I'm on crutches, trying to make my way
up to pay my respects.
Now I have this nifty Robocop leg compartment that I can
keep guns in and shit.
It's kind of awesome.