No, I Did Tell You

The following
is every
word in
this sentence
said in
unison. So beardlovers, tomorrow the rock band I'm
in, Driftless Pony Club, is about to embark on a tour across this lovely country of the
United States of the America bringing along our new album, Magnicifent, for which for
you to purchase for yourselves. And we'll sign it for you if you ask us to
but some of us may need to learn how to read and write first.
And it has ten songs. Here's a snippet of every song.
Sounds good, right? And here are the tour dates.
No, that's a food. That's a thing to do.
That's a city in the Philippines. That's Distance Education and Instructional
Technology. There they are.
So a few videos ago I mentioned that our Dubuque show today was cancelled. Oh No Clone, can
you help me out? - Oh no!
- Thank you. - Oh my god, you're welcome!
But -- as in however, not hind quarters -- we are having a gathering in Dubuque tomorrow
at 11 am, Saturday June 23rd, at the Riverwalk. Please bring acoustic guitars so that we can
play them. More info in the doobly-doo. And other gatherings have been added to the
schedule in Albuquerque, Phoenix, and Los Angeles. Oh Yeah Clone, can I get some help?
- Oh yeah! Guess he's more like Kool-Aid Guy Clone. Just
as long as he doesn't bust through any walls. Too late.
Now, every time we go on tour, inevitably, no matter how many times I mention we're going
on tour, June 23rd to July 3rd in Dubuque, Omaha, Denver, Pueblo, Albuquerque, Phoenix,
Anaheim, Los Angeles, and San Francisco, there's always someone who says 'Wheezy, you were
in blah-di-blah place and you didn't tell me?'
Feel free to comment that ironically to this video now because I said that. Blah-di-blah
is spelled 'blah-di-blah' for your information. Now, to those future people, who are also
most likely current people, I really appreciate your excitement to see us play in Dubuque...
It's a shame that you missed our show. I really wanted to meet you. But any time I get one
of those comments, I'm going to direct you to this song that I wrote for you.
You weren't here when we were here, It was fun but not as fun without you,
I guess I shoulda been more clear With regard to the places that we went to,
I shoulda posted the dates on seven videos Instead of six.
Not including Wheezy News and Always Wheezy, Which had other videos that you missed.
Not including videos I've yet to make On the roaaaaad.
Not including posts I made on Facebook, Google Plus,
Twitter, DriftlessPonyClub dot com,
WheezyWaiter dot com, BlogTV,
Shouting from my window. A letter addressed to everyone,
Thinking really hard to create some sort of mind meld,
Building a baseball field inside of a corn field,
Smoke signals, sent a raven, Called my mom who gossips things to everyone,
And I also posted videos on Tumblrrrrrrrrr. I guess maybe I should try harder next time.
And to those of you who can't come to our show because you don't live near where we're
going, I'm sorry. We can't be everywhere at once. I'd like to be everywhere at once but
I'm just one man. So there's nothing I can do about that.
- Oh no! Thank you, Oh No Clone, for undermining my
point. So, to reiterate, here are the dates, and
the places that are gatherings, could you please some of you maybe bring acoustic guitars
so that we could play them for yous? Remember, Dubuque gathering 11 am tomorrow
and Omaha tomorrow night. And then we're going to Denver.
And this is available for preorder on the 25th. We're listening to the first song right
now. I'm actually not listening to it. I'm adding
it in later so I don't know if this is on beat at all. It's also pretty awkward because
I'm doing this to a silent room. Actually, I think this motion is awkward in any situation.
Looking forward to meeting those of you that I'm going to meet in the next few weeks.
And I'm not looking forward to not meeting those of you that I'm not meeting because
that's already happening right now. I don't have to look forward to it. Not that I would
want to. - Did it look like I was yelling?
- Mm hmm. - Or did it look like I was constipated?
- Uhh. I think it looked like you were yelling. - Good.