[Goodwin:] Wow!
Hey mom! Did you know the tongue is the strongest muscle in your whole body?
[Mom:] No, sweetheart. [Goodwin:] Yeah!
And your funny bone? If you get hit in it, it's not funny at all!
[Mom:] Is that right? [Goodwin:] Yup!
And... and we actually have TWO kidneys in our bodies!
Two of 'em! [Mom:] Oh, two you say?
Well, that's just fantastic.
[Goodwin:] You know mom, when I grow up,
I think I'm gonna be a medical claims adjuster!
[Mom:] I believe you can do anything, sweetie.
[Badwin:] Mama, excuse me,
will you buy me these ballistic missiles, please?
[Mom:] Oh, my little darling.
Unfortunately you've already spent this month's allowance on that satellite from China.
You'll just have to wait until next month. [Badwin:] But mother!
You don't seem to understand!
The Russians only have their "Blow Up Sale" on for two more days!
[Mom:] Oh, sweetheart.
Money doesn't grow on trees!
If you want those missiles, you're just going to have to get creative
and earn that money yourself.
[Goodwin:] Lemons grow on trees!
We could have a lemonade stand!
[Badwin:] Oh, shut up.
How in the world am I going to come up with that much money in just two days?
[Mom:] I'm sure you'll think of something, sweetheart.
I believe in you! *smooch*
[Badwin:] Oh, you bitch!
Ugh.
Hello, hello! Good afternoon, all kidney-seeking sickos!
Today, one lucky bidder will leave as the proud owner
of this beautiful right kidney.
[Kidney:] Ha ha ha, hey! You ever heard of knockin'?
I coulda been peein'! Ha ha ha!
You gotta be kidney'-in me!
Ha ha ha! [Badwin:] Shut up.
[Goodwin:] Badwin, I don't know about this.
[Badwin:] Don't be selfish. You have two kidneys for a reason.
[Goodwin:] Maybe you're right...
Sharing is caring.
[Badwin:] Okay, the starting bid is one hundred thousand!
Do I have one hundred thousand?
*beep* I have one hundred thousand!
Do I have 125,000?
Ihave125,000! DoIhave150,000?
Ihave150,000! DoIhavetwohundredthousand?
*beep* Twohundredthousand!
[Drunk:] This is for a liver, right?
[Badwin:] No! DoIhave250,000?
Twohundredfiftythousand! AnyoneanyoneanyoneAH!
Good! 250,000 going once!
250,000 going twice!
SOLD! To the gentleman with the - *beeeeeep*
Shit.
Uh... SOLD! To the gentleman for two hundred thousand!
[Old man:] Hoo! That makes three kidneys for me!
[Badwin:] Sir! Would you like a bag?
