Hang out with Beth and Mama Hoyt LIVE at 4pm! - 8/21/12 (Full Ep)

BETH HOYT: Oh, oh I should get rid of this.

Hi friends.
It's Tuesday.
I'm Beth Hoyt.
This is My Damn Channel Live and thank you for watching.
Um yesterday was so much fun.
And I really loved talking to you guys.
So we're going to do more of that with a
little bit of a twist.
I'm going to include my mom.
My mom's the best, um well except when she's not.
But even then, she's pretty great.
Uh the only time when she's not the best is when I'm
like-- you know when I'm just like, mom, solve my problems.
And she's like, I don't understand your problems.
But then I just talk.
I just--
I'd just talk and talk.
Uh not many people let you do that.
But your mom, you just--
I'm going to keep talking.
It feels good to get things out sometimes, you know, even
if you know that the person can't really help you.
And then when I'm done, she goes, are you done?
And I say, well.
And she says, can I go now?
It's a thing we do for each other.
It's--
You'll see.
Um OK, we have a comment from YouTube.
This is from Nokturn6.
Beth do you like cooking?
Do you cook daily?
I like cooking.
I don't cook daily.
I don't know how really.
I do make--
I have a lot of secret little things that are like ways to
eat food that aren't really real food.
Here's the new one.
This is embarrassing.
I got--
I get this tempeh.
I'm so not a vegetarian.
But I buy this only because I don't know how to cook.
And whenever I do try and make meat, I overcook it, because
I'm like, I don't want to kill myself.
So I get this, because it's basically not really food.
It's what?
Is it beans or something?
All the vegetarians are like, it's soy and beans or
something like that.
But um I just put it in the toaster oven.
And it's protein.
So you're like, this is meat.
So I cook that.
I cook the crap out of some tempeh.
Uh next tweet is from--
This is a tweet from Zana Zeober.
Beth, what were you like in high school?
Oh yeah, so you guys can tweet in questions too.
And that's really fun.
And that one, we got that in the show yesterday.
And I thought that um I didn't really give
you guys a good answer.
Because I answered it basically by saying that I'm
the same as I was then, except maybe more dorky.
But then I was like, well maybe I was a dork.
But I just didn't give a very good answer.
So this is why we're calling my mom, because I think we
need an outside perspective.
You guys take a look at this.
When we get back, mom Hoyt.

FEMALE SINGER: It's the Jon Friedman Internet Program on
your world wide web.
Yeah
JEFF POTATOHEAD: No, no, no, please call me Jeff.
Mr. Potatohead is my father.
FEMALE SINGER: It's the Jon Friedman Internet Program on
your world wide web.
JEFF POTATOHEAD: Oh, sorry.

BETH HOYT: Can you see?
My phone is so cracked, it's hard.
It says, mom.
Under favorites, she's the only one.
Mom, calling her right now.
Speakerphone.

It's ringing you guys.
It's ringing.

Mom?
MOM: Hi Bethy Boo.
BETH HOYT: Hi mom.
MOM: Hi honey.
BETH HOYT: How you doing?
MOM: I'm doing fine.
BETH HOYT: Great.
Uh welcome to My Damn Channel Live.
MOM: That's exciting.
I'm glad to be here.
BETH HOYT: Is this your internet debut?
Is this your inter--
MOM: We're trying to get it on the internet going.
And we can't quite get it.
But anyway--
BETH HOYT: That sounds about right.
That sounds just about right.
MOM: [LAUGHING]
BETH HOYT: Do you have dial-up still?
Is that--
It's hard to get the live stream with dial-up?
MOM: You silly.
BETH HOYT: Oh you get that joke?
Oh good.
MOM: [LAUGHING]
BETH HOYT: So, it's OK.
It's hard to look at yourself when you're on a show anyway.
I'm just kidding.
MOM: Yeah.
BETH HOYT: Uh so are you ready to answer some questions from
the YouTube and the Twitter people?
MOM: That's right.
I'm going to give the correct answers when you quite can't.
BETH HOYT: Right.
MOM: Yeah.
BETH HOYT: OK, so this is from--
this is from Twitter.
Remember when I set you up with a Twitter account?
What happened to that?
Did you ever tweet once?
MOM: Well you set me up with account, but you didn't show
me how to do it.
And I'd like to tweet you a couple times, but I I don't
quite know what to do with the twitter account.
So--
BETH HOYT: We'll work on that.
MOM: --you have to show me how I can tweet you live.
BETH HOYT: Yeah, we'll work on that.
OK.
This is a--
This is a tweet from someone.
This is from Zana Zeober.
And she asked me yesterday, Beth what were you like in
high school?
And I just said that I'm just just kind of the same.
MOM: I know I watched you yesterday do that.
And I thought, come on tell them.
Come on.
But you were very nice and shy.
And, and, and um--
BETH HOYT: I was shy?
MOM: I would like to tell a little bit about you Beth,
because I was very proud of you.
Um class officer.
BETH HOYT: OK.
MOM: And you were in softball, basketball, and um volleyball.
You were on the dance team when you
decided not to do sports.
BETH HOYT: And?
MOM: And because you--
And you quit sports because you got
leads in all the plays.
Hello Dolly.
BETH HOYT: OK that's-- this is getting-- this is getting
embarrassing.
MOM: And then, to top it off, you were valedictorian when
you graduated.
BETH HOYT: This is true.
MOM: How proud could I be.
BETH HOYT: This is great.
Thank you mom.
I owe you big favors.
It is all true, but also, cool it.
Next is uh-- this is another tweet.
And this is from Andor Andorson.
What was Beth's favorite stuffed animal as a child and
what was its name?
I think I know the answer to this.
Do you?
MOM: You liked so many.
You liked that big-- that Elmo, laughing Elmo.
BETH HOYT: Yeah, I was just trying to have--
to like something trendy.
I never really liked that.
I mean I liked it, but I was too old.
It was like a a teenage thing.
MOM: You always wanted a cat.
And I didn't want any cats.
So we got you a lot of stuffed cats.
BETH HOYT: Yeah.
That was my thing.
My favorite was that cat that I called Libby.
MOM: Yep, Grandpa Hoyt gave you that.
BETH HOYT: Yup.
Exactly.
Nailed it.
You nailed it.
You know me mom.
MOM: I think I do.
BETH HOYT: Next tweet is from-- is another
tweet from Stacey 11.
What are the craziest things you would do
if you had $1 million?
MOM: Oh a crazy thing.
BETH HOYT: What would you do mom?
I would travel.
I would just nonstop travel is what--
MOM: That's what I was going to say.
I'd buy one of those tickets where you can keep going
around the world.
BETH HOYT: Yeah.
MOM: As long as you advance.
BETH HOYT: Yeah.
I'd probably see you on that trip if we both
won a million dollars.
And I'd be like, and there's my mom doing
same thing I'm doing.
MOM: And I would go to a little cottage in the
Cotswalds in England and drink tea and visit with the
villagers, yeah.
BETH HOYT: No, not me.
All right.
So I'm going to--
I'm going to reminisce and think about that.
And you don't go anywhere mom.
MOM: I wouldn't think of it.
BETH HOYT: Don't hang up that phone.
We're going to play a little video.
We'll be right back with my mom, and me, and you.
MOM: OK.

GHOST: And the house is haunted.
MALE SPEAKER 1: Yeah, we know.
That's why we got it so cheap.
FEMALE SPEAKER: You're the ghost.
GHOST: Just like that huh.
MALE SPEAKER 1: Mmhmm.
Hey, how's the internet connection here ghost?
GHOST: It's dial-up.
FEMALE SPEAKER: Oh my god.
JOHN BENJAMIN: Hi, I'm John Benjamin and
you're watching My--
MALE SPEAKER 2 (OFFSCREEN): Damn Channel Live.
JOHN BENJAMIN: Damn Channel Live.
BETH HOYT: Mom we're back.
We're back live.
Shh.
Stop talking about secrets.
MOM: OK.
BETH HOYT: All right.
We're back.
My mom is on the phone.
Oh mom I broke my cell phone.
I broke the screen on my cellphone.
MOM: I saw that yesterday.
Yeah.
BETH HOYT: You should buy me a new one.
MOM: I should?
BETH HOYT: Yeah.
MOM: You just had your birthday Boo.
Maybe Christmas time OK?
BETH HOYT: It's too far.
It's too far away.
I'm going to get glass in my ear.
Next comment.
MOM: No, you've got trouble with your eyes,
trouble with your ears.
BETH HOYT: Yeah exactly.
MOM: OK.
BETH HOYT: Here's a comment from YouTube.
This is from cinpfen.
Any weird habits that Beth used to do?
In this case.
MOM: Yes, lots of them.
The worst one that comes to my mind was when--
BETH HOYT: Oh no.
MOM: You cleared your throat all the time.
BETH HOYT: Oh yeah.
MOM: [CLEARS THROAT]
BETH HOYT: Yeah you hated that.
MOM: We hated that.
You kept doing that for no reason.
BETH HOYT: It was a habit.
And then I didn't realize I was doing it.
But then you yelled at me one day and were like, Bethy
that's annoying.
And then I--
MOM: I know.
Well we told you for a long time.
Everybody in the family did.
But you didn't quite quit it.
I don't know what other annoying habits that you had.
BETH HOYT: Remember when you guys all told me
that I have a lisp.
And I wasn't aware of it.
And you all decided to make fun of me.
I make fun of everyone in my family all the time, because I
do impressions--
MOM: You were a baby when you had that lisp.
You got rid of it.
BETH HOYT: No, this happened like two Christmases ago.
MOM: Oh your nerd face.
You put your tongue in a funny way.
Yeah, you still do that.
BETH HOYT: Yeah, that was a -- that was a fun Christmas for
me, when everyone ganged up on me.
MOM: I see it.
I see it even on um your channel.
I see it every now and then.
BETH HOYT: Sure you do.
Sure you do.
Next comment from YouTube is from um Veralock.
Hey Beth, how old were you when you got into comedy?
So I--
MOM: Oh my gosh Bethy.

BETH HOYT: What?
You sound very serious.
Are you OK?
MOM: You were--
I think of it in high school.
BETH HOYT: Oh the way you answered that you were going
to be like, you were funny from when you were child.
But instead you're like, oh man Bethy, late high school.
MOM: You auditioned for everything
from the age of four.
And you sang.
BETH HOYT: Yeah but was I funny?
MOM: You were funny when you did that odd couple, the
female odd couple.
BETH HOYT: That happened a lot later.
Well the answer is I've been funny, but I just got into
comedy in New York like a few years ago.
MOM: I know.
That was--
BETH HOYT: I'm telling it to them mom, not to you.
MOM: Oh.
BETH HOYT: I know you know.
Here's a comment from YouTube.
I'm sorry.
YumSaidEllyse said, what was Beth's worst childhood injury?
MOM: Well, you didn't have any, fortunately, until you
got eighth grade.
BETH HOYT: Until like a year ago, when I
kept getting Hoyt--
MOM: That was in eighth grade, with your ankles.
Your ankles are bad.
BETH HOYT: Oh yeah.
MOM: In basketball.
And the worst one was in eighth grade
at Christmas time.
You really sprained it bad.
You had those crutches and everything.
BETH HOYT: Yeah.
Remember when I got-- when I had that summer when I got all
those concussions?
I got one in basketball.
And do you remember when I got one when I
fell off the jet ski?
Did I ever tell you that?
Nevermind.
Nevermind.
Nevermind.
I'm fine.
Next comment is from pleasurementgui.

Who was her first boyfriend?
And then like a double mouth on that?
How do you do that?
MOM: Your first boyfriend?
BETH HOYT: Yeah.
MOM: A a real boyfriend?
BETH HOYT: Yeah.
My first, first boyfriend.
What about that boy when we lived in Illinois, Mark?
There's a little boy that I remember pining after.
MOM: Oh yeah.
Oh he's still there.
BETH HOYT: He's still a little boy.
He was very cute.
MOM: Mark, yes he was your first little guy.
BETH HOYT: Yup.
MOM: Statfield.
BETH HOYT: Mark Statfield.
What's up?
MOM: Beth's first boyfriend.
BETH HOYT: Yeah.
That was it.
He was very much smaller than me.
But he was blonde and he was-- he was a hunky little
four-year-old.
MOM: Yeah he's a darling little guy.
BETH HOYT: Yeah, still, still a little guy.
Next comment from YouTube is from setuxxx.
How was Beth when she was young?
Was she a difficult child to raise?
MOM: Oh no.
You got to understand that Beth is a third child after a
brother and sister who are seven and five years older.
And they were-- they fought for Beth's attention.
I want that.
I want that.
I want that.
And she--
Everything they told her to do, she did.
She would do this.
She would do that.
That's why she's in acting.
Because they always told her what to do, but
she loved doing it.
And she was just a delight.
Everybody wanted that.
BETH HOYT: And that makes sense here, because I just
like being bossed around and told to perform.
So that's why-- how it translates for
this show so well.
This is really working out.
MOM: I'll show the pictures someday of you in your little
rocker, when they took your tights, and tied them up, and
put up a babushka on your head.
BETH HOYT: I have that photo.
MOM: You've always been fun.
No difficulty.
You had your--
You had your weirdo stage though in the third grade,
with the big glasses and braces.
BETH HOYT: OK wait, are you saying that when I was forced
to have braces and then get glasses in the same year-- and
you let me choose gold glasses to match my silver braces--
that that was my weirdo stage?
That is not my fault.
That is--
I am being heavily influenced by outside inf-- by--
It's not my fault.
And I was--
And I had a perm.
MOM: You guys--
You guys always attack me for what you looked like pictures
or what you did.
BETH HOYT: It's your responsibility to make me a
cute child.
MOM: All three of you picked everything out.
I had no say.
BETH HOYT: You should have said--
You should have put your foot down and
said, that is not cute.
I'm--
I'm going to choose this for you until
you're old enough to--
That's what you should have done.
Next comment from YouTube.
MOM: No because this is way more fun.
BETH HOYT: Next comment from YouTube is
from austin K michael.
What was your best memory with your mom?
Aww.
MOM: Aww.
BETH HOYT: Well I have so many.
Um I I like this, right now.
This is interesting to have you--
Well it's very weird to look at my broken phone.
MOM: One of our good memories is when we
used to have tea parties--
BETH HOYT: Yeah, you can take this one.
MOM: --and it was snowing out.
BETH HOYT: Yeah.
Did that happen?
MOM: Oh Beth.
BETH HOYT: That sounds very magical.
MOM: Maybe that was Lisa.
BETH HOYT: You mean the one--
Maybe that was my sister.
Yes.
I'm glad.
So your best memory with me was with my sister.
That's great.
MOM: No, no.
It reall was when you were in kindergarten.
And you were home alone.
The other kids were in school.
And we used to just [INAUDIBLE]
in the countryside.
That was very nice out there.
BETH HOYT: Yeah, that was great.
And then on the days when we'd do carpool and when I drive
around to drop off Julie.
And then we'd go to the Hardee's drive through, you
convinced me if I got to come-- if I came with you for
the carpool, then we could go get the six-pack of cinnamon
buns, which is one of the reasons that I have--
MOM: Those raisins.
Those raisin things.
BETH HOYT: I like that you refer to them as raisin things
when it was a butter, cinnamon roll.
MOM: I know.
BETH HOYT: Terrible.
Next comment--
MOM: And then the night-- the night that you did sprain your
ankle real bad.
This was the next year at high school.
And you were laying there.
And your friend came over, Alicia.
And we put up that Christmas tree and tried to keep you
happy and had hot chocolate.
BETH HOYT: That was nice.
MOM: Even though I felt terrible about your ankle,
that was kind of cozy night that I think of every time I
decorate that little tree.
BETH HOYT: That was a cozy and fun night.
MOM: Yeah.
BETH HOYT: Next comment from YouTube is from
mauricebrown854.
Was your mom crying when you left for college?
MOM: Well I went with you kind of.
Tell them about that.
Because you went to the University of Michigan and I
was from Toledo, Ohio.
So we both went from Wisconsin.
And I was only 45 minutes from Toledo.
I stayed three weeks with my parents so that I
could visit you and--
BETH HOYT: OK, so you want me to tell them about that?
So my mom, she was from Toledo.
And then we drove up.
No, so yeah you did--
Well she drove me there.
But I think they're asking is when you dropped me off in the
dorm room, did you cry?
Did you cry for me knowing--
MOM: No because I was going to see you again
in about three days.
I went back up there.
I stayed in Toledo.
BETH HOYT: You just need to learn to add some drama.
Everything doesn't have to be the truth.
You can add drama and, you know, just hype up the stories
a little bit for entertainment's sake.
MOM: Well after three weeks I cried like all the way home.
BETH HOYT: There we go.
That's what we're--
That's what we're looking for.
We have another comment from YouTube.
And it's from uh cyriacx.
Have you ever lost Beth at an amusement park?
I feel like she has been lost at an amusement park before.
MOM: We lost her.
We lost her.
We were so scared.
It was like the bible story, "Where is Jesus?" But my mom--
My mother Sylvestria, and me, and my stepdad, brother,
sister were all at Disneyworld and Epcot Center.
And everybody thought that Beth was holding on to the
other person's hand.
I thought for sure she had her grandma.
And Beth and Julie is always holding hands.
All of a sudden Julie yells, where's Beth?
And we had just about died.
And we ran back.
And fortunately one of the ladies at the kiosk--
BETH HOYT: I think you left me in Germany.
MOM: No that was--
it was by England.
And we were all the way down in Canada in Epcot.
BETH HOYT: Gosh.
So that was scary.
Also you lost me in Walmart uh the first
day we moved to Wisconsin.
And I went to the--
to the front desk.
And I was crying because I was like, my parents lost me and I
don't know where they are.
And they're like, tell us your name.
And I was like, it's Beth Hoyt.
And then they started the announcement.
They're like, we have a Beth White here, a Beth White.
Can her parents--
And then I started crying even more, because I was like, no
one's going to come get me.
I don't know.
MOM: Bethy, you know what?
That was just a weird thing.
They're going to think I'm terrible losing you.
BETH HOYT: It just happened those two times and like once
every year.
MOM: Never.
Never.
Just that Disneyworld was absolutely frightening.
BETH HOYT: I just have the aura of someone who was lost
in amusement parks as a child.
They were very accurate.
All right mom, that's it.
That's all that we went over the show.
We did a lot of talking.
MOM: Wow, I had fun.
I was kind of nervous, but this is-- this was good.
BETH HOYT: It was very fun.
MOM: I could go on.
BETH HOYT: I know you could.
I'll call you later.
Um so thanks a lot mom.
Thanks for being here.
MOM: Well thank you for having me Beth.
BETH HOYT: Yeah.
And then you can just send me a check for the new cellphone.
MOM: I know.
Maybe I will hon.
Maybe I will.
BETH HOYT: She thinks--
MOM: I want to say hi to the people at your channel and
Christopher because I see him a lot.
BETH HOYT: You just did.
MOM: You know, tell them hi.
BETH HOYT: All right, bye mom.
MOM: Bye bye.
I'll talk to you later honey.
I love you .
And I love all of you.
And you're my favorite.
BETH HOYT: See?
Yeah, OK bye.

We did it.
OK subscribe now you guys.
Thanks for--
I feel like that was very--
I don't know how I feel about that yet.
But thanks for sticking in the chat and asking us questions.
She really loved that.
And that was really fun for me.
Subscribe now so you don't miss out on good things we
have coming up.
Tomorrow I'm having a sleepover.
It's going to be a really big show with W. Kamau Bell.
Grace is back on Thursday.
Things are happening.
Call your mom.
Love you, bye.
You're my favorite.