You Suck at Photoshop - 3D Paint


Uploaded by MyDamnChannel on 23.08.2012

Transcript:

[BEEPING]
DONNY: (ROBOT VOICE) My name is Donny
and you suck at Photoshop.
Stick a thumb in your belt loop and salute yourself.
Let's say that you just completed the fight of your
life against your nemesis in an octagon in a mixed marital
arts event, and then on many other body parts.
You broke your larynx and can no longer communicate vocally.
You need to describe to the doctor which part of your body
is injured.
Let's use Photoshop to help.

Open Photoshop and create a new image.

We are going to open a skeleton of the human anatomy
in a 3D image.
Select 3D.
Do 3D layer from file.

Here is a file that I saved earlier.

Photoshop brings it into a 3D view.
From here we can manipulate it.
Rotate.

Translate.

Zoom.

We need to paint on the skeleton the parts of the body
that we've diagnosed as being broken.
Select paintbrush and paint onto the skeleton.

When you rotate the skeleton, you can see that the 3D
architecture has been colored.
[PHONE RINGS]
DONNY: Hello.
CALLER: Hey, Donny man, Donny.
We, we need to talk about something, man.
DONNY: I can't talk to you right now.
I'm in the middle of a tutorial.
CALLER: Oh.
Man, why are you talking like that?
DONNY: I broke my larynx in a fight.
CALLER: No.
Oh man.
Oh no, no, no.
We-- that's what we gotta talk about, man.
DONNY: I can't talk to you right now.
I broke my--
CALLER: Listen Donny, man!
You didn't break your neck or your larynx or your body, man.
You weren't in a fight.
DONNY: That's incredibly ridiculous.
I was in a--
CALLER: No listen, man.
And stop talking like that.
DONNY: I don't know what you're ta--
what you're talking about.
I--
(NORMAL VOICE) I uh, wait.
Why, why am I talking like that?
CALLER: Donny, man.
You're talking like that, because you
didn't break your larynx.
You weren't in a fight, man.
Donny, I'm about to blow your mind.
Please return your seat back to its full and upright
position, man.
DONNY: What are you talking about?
CALLER: Donny, you weren't in a fight.
You're not even in a hospital, man.
Look.
You're just playing a loop sound in your, in QuickTime!
DONNY: What, what, what are you talking about?
I--
what?
[BEEPING STOPS]
DONNY: Oh, wha-- what are you-- what's happening?
CALLER: Donny, man.
You weren't in a fight because you couldn't have
fought that other guy.
Because you are that other guy.
DONNY: What?
CALLER: You're Ricky Cox, man.
DONNY: What?
What, what are you talking about?
CALLER: Man, think about it.
You're Ricky Cox.
You, who do you think was pounding your
wife in that van?
Man, that's your van, Ricky.
That's yours since the beginning.
DONNY: Wha-- wha--
what do you mean?
What are you-- what are you-- what are you talking about?
CALLER: Man, listen.
Try to remember.
You hit your head in, in a terrible uh, fishing tackle
box accident, man.
Ricky, you started-- you woke up, you started talking about
this guy Donny Hoyle.
And then you started doing these
Photoshop tutorials, man.
DONNY: Wait, what?
CALLER: Yeah, man.
L-- listen, you-- you've been making this whole thing up!
DONNY: No, no.
Wait a minute.
I--
I--
I--
I've been on a journey.
I was, I was in Bhutan.
CALLER: You weren't in Bhutan, man.
DONNY: And, and I--
I was in--
I was in Istanbul.
And-- and I--
I had--
I had a lover in Greece and--
CALLER: Hey man, listen.
None of that is real.
You made that whole thing up.
You're in your basement, man.
You just been playing sound files and using different
voices and typing messages to yourself in Facebook, man.
DONNY: Wait.
All of this is, is just made up?
CALLER: That's right, man.
Even me, man.
(VOICE CHANGES) Even me.
You made me up too.
It's just you talking to yourself in your basement.
That's all this conversation is.
DONNY: No, no.
That's not possible.
CALLER: It is.
You're Ricky Cox.
And now it's time to put Donny Hoyle away forever.
We can do it together.
DONNY: I don't, I don't understand.
My name is Donny Hoyle.
My name is Donny Hoyle.
CALLER: And you suck at Photoshop.
DONNY: Oh, oh man, that's bull-- don't!
I, this can't be!
I, I can't do this.
I, I don't even understand what we're--
[PHONE RINGING]
DONNY: Wait.
CALLER: That's right.
It's your son, and he needs to talk to you.
This is the most important conversation of your life.
DONNY: I don't, I don't know.
CHILD: Daddy?
DONNY: Uh.
ANNOUNCER: At the last second, you realized that the last
time you updated a-- a reference photo for how you
want your gravestone to be treated, you, it, you
remembered that it was ba--
you had-- you had based it on a pop culture reference around
Shia LaBeouf, and that you never expected his career to
disintegrate so quickly.