Kung Fu Karl - Final Exam (Ep #9)


Uploaded by MondoMedia on 02.06.2012

Transcript:
[Karl:] Oh, hello there.
Just "boning up" on the basics if you know what I mean.
Heh heh heh.
I have a massive erection.
Anyway. College kids face many stressful situations,
like early classes,
how to torture the mascot,
and the best way to violate your passed-out roommate.
But nothing is more stressful than final exams. So here's
Build a time machine out of crap layin' around your dorm,
zap into the past
and punch a T-rex in the dick.
this will result in a chain of events
spanning millions of years
resulting in your professor accidentally dropping the answer sheet on the floor for you to steal.
One small side effect is that Hitler is now the president of earth,
but hey, you just aced Intro to Desk Repair.
You're welcome.
At the beginning of the year, cover your body head-to-toe in tattoos.
But be sure to leave a handful of blank spaces on your arms.
Once you recover from ink poisoning,
and murder your way out of that biker gang,
you can tattoo all the answers to your exams on your arms
ace your finals,
drop out,
mutilate your face to look like a lizard,
and join the circus!
My special blend of
is guaranteed to jump-start your brain
so you can ace those tests.
or just turn you into a super villain.
Simply mix equal parts
Chug it down and watch the A's come rolling in.
Or fly into space
and murder everyone who's ever wronged you.
And last but not least,
Use your super-sexy body to seduce your teacher,
then blackmail them into giving you an A.
It doesn't matter if your teacher's a man, a woman, or an online class.
just go ahead and seduce the whole damn class.
an massive orgy is the perfect distraction to cheat off your neighbor's paper.
Follow these hot throbbing tips
and you can cheat your way to success in no time.
Huh. Did you know the circumference of a set of jugs
is directly proportionate to the amount of horsepower needed to motorboat them?
I learned something new today!