Fantozzi (1/11) (English Subtitles)


Uploaded by Pseudologic on 22.10.2010

Transcript:

- Hallo? - Hallo? Yes? - Sorry to disturb you.
Am I speaking to the switchboard of the illustrious company...
- ..ltalpetrolcemetermo textilfarmometalchemicals? - Yes.
My name is Mrs Fantozzi Pina...
..the wife of accountant Fantozzi Ugo, an employee of yours.
(Receptionist) No phone calls allowed except for notifications of death.
Wait, I would humbly like to remark,...
..that I haven't had any news of my husband for the last 18 days.
I'm sorry to disturb you, but I'm starting to get worried.
- (Receptionist) Hold on. - Thank you, miss.
That's very kind of you. They will find out about daddy.
Is a certain accountant Fantozzi part of our staff?
I can look at the personnel office. Fabriani, Facchetti...
...Falabrino, Zarotti, Battifer, who messed up the files?
General Archives here: found! ID 7820l8-a.
Janitor? We need the master key!
That's his punch card, only the entrance is clocked in.
Notify the office of lost employees.
What was behind this wall?
The old toilets. They walled them up 20 days ago.
Break through this wall.
- Come on, help him!
- Do you feel sick? - How did it happen?
- Thanks. - How're you? - Perfect, just a slight appetite.
(Altogether) Bravo!
7 C.
Miss. Ok, 13 M.
- Water, miss.
- Miss Silvani, I'm back. - Yes, I know.
- Accountant, I'm back. - A 6. - Hit.
- Is it a cruiser? - Yes.
P 1 2
- Ah! - Carboni? - Were you hiding? - Ouch!
Good morning, Miss Silvani.
- Fantozzi? - Ouch! - Are you hurt? - Not at all.
Since you already have so many files, why don't you take mine too?
- It's my pleasure. - Thanks.
In order to stamp his punch card exactly at 8:30
Fantozzi used to wake up at 06:15. That was 16 years ago.
Today, after many experiments and improvements,...
he wakes up at 07: 51
stretching the limits of human possibilities.
Everything is calculated in split seconds:
5 seconds to come to.
4 seconds to bear his wife's appearance...
...over 6 seconds to ask himself, as usual, and with no answer,...
...why he married that domesticated creature in the first place
3 seconds to drink his wife's abominable coffee
... at 3000 degrees Fahrenheit.
8 to 10 seconds to cool off his burning tongue.
2 1/2 seconds to kiss his daughter Mariangela.
Simultaneous combing and latte-drinking
Brushing teeth with mint toothpaste and coffee flavor,...
...causing a physiological response requiring another 6 seconds European time.
...3, 2, 1!
Now 3 minutes to get dressed,...
...and run to the bus stop for the 08:01.
Barring unforeseen consequences.
Switch!
We'll never make it.
- So? - I'll catch the bus from above.
- No! - No, daddy. - Yes, I'll jump from the balcony.
- I'll save 2 minutes. - You never did it before, you're not ready!
I've never done it, but I've always dreamt of doing it.
- Ugo! - What is he doing? - He's catching the bus from above.
- Come on, accountant! - Thanks.
(PEOPLE SHOUTING)
Don't push!
What are you doing?
- What happened? - No, not me!
- Who was the first one? - (Altogether) He was!
Wait, I need to go to work, I have to punch my card.
- I'm late. - Wait.
- you must sign, it's your responsibility. - Do you have a pen? - No.
I'll sign with my blood. Goodbye.
- Come on, Fantozzi, you can make it! - Come on. - You've arrived.
Once more, Fantozzi!