Lepa sela lepo gore - Pretty Village, Pretty Flame (english subtitles)

Uploaded by xReturnOfTheDeadx on 06.05.2012

This film is dedicated to the film industry
of a country that no longer exist.
LOCAL NEWS 27.6. 1 9 7 1
lnauguration of the "Brotherhood-Unity Tunnel"
Who says that the forces of nature
can be made to work for man?
The skillful hands of our builders have triumphed
once again over rocks and stones,
thus linking the brotherly regions of our socialist
homeland of Yugoslavia. Comrade Djemal Bjedic
was greeted before guests from all over the Republic,
by the pioneer youth group singing our favorite song:
With Marshall Tito, our heroic son,
even the Devil will admit we have won...
Every tunnel symbolizes both our path and the light
at its end. The people of Bosnia and Herzegovina
set out on that path on this very day 30 years ago,
on J uly 27, 1 941 , and have never veered.
Comrade Djemal spoke to the zealous workers
who made this tunnel possible. He promised to transmit
their warm greetings to comrade Tito.
BOSNlA, 1 980
Milan, let's go inside. -Not me.
There's an ogre asleep inside. -ls that the devil?
Yes. -He's asleep? -lf he wakes up,
he'll eat up the village and set the houses on fire.
Halil, l'd better take Grandma's knife.
Forget the knife. l'll take my Grandma's gun.
l know where she hides it. -Let's go. We'll come back
when we're better armed. -Better not wake him now.
lnhale, inhale!
ls there gonna be a war? -Yes, there will.
Watch this, see what Jordan's doing!
Come on, Yankee! Are you trying to fascinate chickens?
Watch out for Magic!
Damn you.
Twelve to ten.
No hard feelings, Jordan!
What temper!
What's wrong? -Why'd you throw the ball?
Fuck off... -Listen, in basketball
it's breathing that counts... -Stop the bullshit, please...
...you have to inhale then shoot,
then shoot again...
Got it? Have a seat.
That asshole could've fixed this chair.
You know everything, l suppose.
Goodness, they've gone crazy in Sarajevo.
Killed a man at a wedding.
Screw the newspapers from Serbia!
Why don't you read ours? -lt's too big.
Like a sheet... l can't hold it.
Then spread it on the ground, kneel and read!
Right, it's good for Muslim prayers.
Shut up and drink!
What do you think, will there be war?
Yes, there will! Cheers! -Cheers!
How can we fight if we're drunk? -J ust fine!
We'll be braver. lf there's enough brandy
maybe we won't even fight! -Why should we fight?
Fine, we won't fight.
l'm still going to take your money!
Here, l've got Kraut, Croat, Serb, which do you want?
What do you think? -Serbian! -You bet, my Muslim friend!
Whatever you say. Let's hear. -Third and fifth odd.
Third... and...
How much is seven and six? -Ask the teacher!
Now we're even! -What do you mean, even? -Even!
Look at this! Sloba, just listen!
When he was skinning me l played to the end.
Well, you'll get your chance to skin him, too!
Hi there, folks. Taking a rest? -A little.
Sloba. -Hi, Nazim!
Where you off to? -To Hajra and my brother-in-law's
in Tuzla, so here are the keys. -Keys to what?
The house. Keep an eye on it, will you?
We've known each other so long.
The flowers should be watered, too. -Quiet!
My poor geraniums.
l feel uncomfortable. Something might happen!
Nothing will happen. J ust drop by when you can!
How come you've got so much stuff, like you're moving?
No, these are for my sister in Tuzla.
Well, then, l'll be off. -Go on.
All the best, Nazim!
Hey, l'm not moving... honest.
Come back... one day.
You must have been really bad to get beaten up so much.
Honey! Daddy's at the other end of the hall. Let's hurry.
Say "hi" from me!
Come on, please, hurry. -The man's a looney!
Come out of there, l said we're going.
Did they beat Daddy up like that, too?
Cut the crap! Let's go. Now!
Answer it, it's for you!
Hello, who's there!
ls that you? Answer me!
Answer me, please!
Scram, it's for me.
Hello? -Chamil, is that you? -Yes, ma'am.
ls Chamil in? -Who?
He's here. -Where is Chamil?!
He's busy right now, chopping wood.
J ust a moment. For you, Professor.
This here is Paris. -See my ducklings!
They say that war brings out the best and the worst
in a man. What's the best?
Who knows, Professor?
ln 1 9 1 3, the Bulgars attacked,
in 1 9 1 3, the Serbs beat them back...
Soldier, keep it down.
Buddy, maybe it's for you.
Aloha. ls that you, kitten?
l'm gonna ram it to you, break you in two.
Soldier, keep it down. Hey, quiet!
Hello? Sloba?
He comes and goes.
Hey, come help load this!
Want to buy a TV for your barn, 63 cm screen...
Piss of! -Cool it!
The ladies have started dying easter eggs...
who's gonna take care of what's between my legs?
Bro'! Look at what the Swedes drive!
lt can pull a plow and go to town!
Wait! ls this the one l scratched with a fork?
Listen, if there's any trouble, he's mine!
Understand! Be sure to change the oil! Understand!
And don't drive over potholes! Understand!
l'll be damned if you understand!
Aha! You do understand. Take this.
Christ is resurrected! -Truly resurrected!
Yo, bro'! ... lt's mine!
Hello, George, l need a warehouse in Belgrade.
l've got washing machines, TVs...
This roadhouse hasn't been touched by the war.
What war, man, this is like "Frankfurt-on-Mine".
Chivas Royal,"Black and Decker White", "Johnny the Runner",
the collected works of Jack Daniels.
Boy, do l feel like shooting!
Want Uncle Velja to shoot one over your sniveling head, eh?
J ust joking. Here's some candy from Uncle Velja
to make everything better.
Hey there all you Mighty Serbs!
l've got a great woman doctor here who wants to meet
real Serbian heroes! -Unload her!
But she only likes the seriously wounded,
so let us know when you qualify!
Don't touch him... Don't!
Did you hear what he said? Don't make me get up!
Get well so we can go back.
Go back.
l don't have anything else, take this. -Don't, son.
l've got enough. -Mom!
What's wrong?
What happened? -Nothing.
Come on, Mom, forget it. lf you need anything
go see Sloba, l told him... -No! l won't go to Sloba's!
Why? What's he doing?
Mother, why are you acting this way?
Excuse me, ma'am, we were told that there's
a dangerous Muslim stronghold right around here!
So, if you could just confirm that information.
There's no one left here. -Thanks for your kindness, ma'.
Buddy! -After me, heroes!
When l die and leave my body,
make me a suit out of the flag!
Stay, just a little bit more!
Who's the Serbian champion? Brazil!
Look, they put it up crooked...Halil, phooey!
Shit, they've got everything, you'd think they were Swedes!
Hey, there's no rest for the hard-working!
ls that TV for me? -No, we're sending it back
to the Japanese for a refund, the fan belt's stuck!
What're you staring at? Want me to get you a drill?
Tell us, what's your favorite movie?
"Streets of Fire"!
Lift a little. Not that side, the other one.
A little more... Now nail it.
l can see that's how it's gonna be, you give the orders
and l do the work. -Cut the baloney, nail it.
What've you done, man? Raise the other side,
it's crooked again. -That's it, l'm through hanging it!
Look what you did! -What did l do? What?
See, it's fucked up! -Who's gonna look at the sign?
Whoever comes to have his car fixed will look at it!
He'll just look at it.
Who's gonna look? -No one has to look.
Mom! Bring the brandy, we're ready to roll!
Here's to your health, boys, and lots of luck!
Say, isn't that sign a bit crooked?
Mom, don't go and spoil our premiere.
Here comes Sloba! -Remember me when the money starts
pouring in, you bloody capitalists! -Help yourself.
Here, we brought the beer.
Let's take their picture before they get smashed!
What's wrong now? -Seems to me the sign's a little crooked!
Sure as hell. -Come one, take the damn picture.
But my artistic nature... -Take the picture, please!
Fuck the art, just pull the trigger.
Milan! Why'd you do that?
Go on, scram! -Where?
You know that all this is yours and mine now!
Did that bum Halil send you to guard his house?
All right, Milan, what's wrong?
Take it easy! -Go away.
You screwed up, prick!
Who fired? -l fired!
Who are you to be judge and jury here?
ls that why you bear arms?
This'll get you a court martial. You're finished!
He did it! Arrest him!
Hush, hush... Suck, suck...
What're you looking at! -Humpty Dumpty.
Humpty Dumpty.
He's right, Captain. How can they light a fire in this heat.
Humpty Dumpty.
Where did you fight, damn it, in Disneyland?!
Humpty Dumpty.
Humpty bloody Dumpty
sat on the wall, scratching his ball...
Hurry up, man! l've put this shit on three times,
it keeps evaporating! -One-one... This will do!
lt's fine. -Shit, look at my hands, man!
Stick them up your ass... Lauda!
Hi there, Nazim! -You'll be a postman like your dad!
Get rid of that and come into town for a beer!
Fuck off!
Humpty bloody Dumpty... Hurry it up, Lauda!
Let's hear those Belgrade assholes!
One, two, and a one, two three.
Hit it, Lauda!
"You want to love, but don't know how to kiss,
come on honey, give me a little bit."
Let's go, boys, no dawdling.
There's no rest for the hard-working!
Shall we go into the tunnel? -Not me!
Aunt Fanny was just kidding. Follow me.
l wouldn't go see that Ogre in the tunnel
for a barrel of beer. Not for any money.
Did you see? -No. Let's go up.
Do you boys have any money for this mountain climbing?
We do. -J ust asking. Say, what's your name?
Halil. -Come on, Halil, how about a fill!
But Aunt Fanny, we just want to have a peek.
You won't get far from just peeking!
l don't want to! -No shilly-shallying now.
Don't! Don't! -Quiet, this is erotic!
Look, a real scout's winkie!
What are you doing, you bumhead?!
How can l pick up girls like this?
Look what you did! -What'd l do?
l'll get you for this!
Now you'll see how Musa skins a goat!
Musa can roll my dick's overcoat!
" All of Yugoslavia's dancing rock'n'roll,
while everything around us is going down the hole..."
l'm going up! -Captain, Mascot's screaming!
Fork, go get him. Velja, too.
Veljaaa! -We're not deaf, you moron!
You really have a closet-phobia, Kid!
Want a bazooka to finish it off? -What happened?
Nothing. The kid's just leaving tracks.
Marko, let Uncle Velja give you some candy.
You give me that little gun and l'll give you some candy.
Take the kid out of here. -Let's go, kid.
How'd l shoot? -You did.
Milan, come and see something.
Did you finish, Marko? Go on, off with you!
These are prisoners of war. No one is to touch them.
ls that clear? -Yes sir!
Look, a fresh Muslim.
They're reinforcing.
We should make a counter attack.
Let's retreat, Milan ... like men.
You go first,
l'll follow.
Nice looking Muslim, young.
How old do you think he is?
Old enough.
Where's Sloba? -ln the warehouse.
l'm so sorry we couldn't find you.
What did they do to her?
A group of Muslims attacked at night.
The bastards swam across the Drina.
Went through the village like wildfire. -Sloba!
We looked for you everywhere. -Did you hear what l asked?
We buried her yesterday next to your father.
Everything was done properly.
And we caught two Muslims alive. -How did they kill her?
They said they were from Halil's detachment.
While they could still talk.
So, you just think about guarding his house again.
l should have killed you back then.
You can now if you want to.
War's a whore...
Where are you going with that shovel? Are you crazy?
Do you speak English?
Why don't you leave him alone?
l will, Professor.
For good.
And this here's New York!
Did you know that more people live in New York
than all the Serbs put together.
Although l never stole anything in New York.
You're young, there's still time.
There's a prophesy that says just enough Serbs will be left
to stand under a pear tree. -ln that case everyone else
will be standing under a dandelion witj no crowding.
Thank heavens we're under a pear tree right now.
Sumadinac! Where's our cover?!
l'll get even of l make it out!
Get your fat ass over here!
lt's stuck! -Hold on, Professor!
Brother-in-law! -Lie down and shut up!
l don't want my sister wasting money on widow's weeds!
Run over here! Run!
Head down that way! There's an abandoned tunnel!
Tunnel? -Yes, go hide inside! Take the Professor.
Milan, how's Mascot? -He's alive! Get going!
Professor, move your ass! Move, motherfucker!
Get over here!
Are you nuts?
Run, the kid's had it! Run!
Little Chetnik! lt won't hurt a bit.
You'll just go to sleep. -l'll sleep on your sister,
on your mother...
We can't go any farther. -Yes, we can.
Do you give up? -Nope. -Someone has to.
You do it. -You do it.
Hang on, bro'!
What if they're on the other side?
l bet you 50 marks they're not. -Too much.
What if a train comes along? -Shut up! -Scared shitless?
Kurtalici was the name of that village?
Who cares, moron, get in there!
All that's missing here is dead Chetniks.
Don't tempt the devil.
Those circumcised bastards will screw us
if they sniff us out.
Where'd you get this tunnel? -l don't know.
l never dared go in it before.
Maybe now wasn't the time, either.
Sumadinac, come in. Do you hear me, damn it?
Where are you? Answer me.
Come in, Sumadinac.
l'll have your Sumadinac for breakfasr.
We're in the neighborhood. How about some coffee?
Scared shitless, rats?
Dear Chetniks, Chamil speaking.
We're not going to split up now that the fun has started!
We will impregnate your mothers!
Turn that shit off. -Chetniiiks! ! !
Showtime, boys!
Now let's play hide-and-seek.
Chetniks hide first! 1 0, 9, 8...
Last one yo hide will be my bride!
Come to play! -No cheating!
Where are you, bustards?
Damn peasants, sleeping as on their Mother Goose bosoms.
l was the one with noble hands before this shit.
Damn this tunnel and whoever brought us here.
l'm the one who screwed up.
What can l do now? -Nothing.
Knit us some socks to ward off the cold.
Are you asking for trouble, maybe?
Don't shoot, it's Speedy!
Bro', let's bet 30 marks he'll pass!
That's too much!
Up yours!
Damn them all to hell!
Did you see my home run!
l'm sopping wet, is anyone thirsty?
Anyone got a stub?
Light up, you'll feel better.
How'd you find us, Speedy? -l couldn't miss a good party.
l heard you calling for Mommy on the two-way.
When are the others coming?
When they get around to it. -Get around to it!?
Didn't you call headquarters?
One question at a time.
First question, dummy.
ls anyone going to get us out of this shit or not?
Well, guys... What can l say?
Sumadinac! Gvozden here...
Yo, Chetties! The truck driver's not bad.
We'll bury him with the spare parts!
We've stuck our pricks in a wasps' nest!
Let's make a strategy to vanish out of here, Big Serbs!
Not a bad party, eh, Doctor?
Damn it, the doctor! l forgot about her!
Hold your fire!
Damn me to hell!
How could l forget! Doctor! Doctor!
Fork, keep an eye on the Muslims!
And you, don't lose your cool! Enough!
l'm cool, Captain!
Don't rely on my English.
She said she made a mistake, it was a misunderstanding...
Look, a Muslim visa. -She's sorry she hid in my truck,
she knows she broke the law and will be punished,
but she's asking us to let her go.
Look, she's as freckled as a turkey's egg.
She says she's sorry, eh?
You'll be sorrier than you think!
Wait a minute, folks... -What are you staring at?
Milk her for informations. -She's skinny. Let's skin her.
She'll say we did it, anyway.
Look, "7-1 1 "!
What's gotten into you? -What're you doing?
Beating her. -She's resisting a routine inspection.
No, you like other people's things. Give that back.
Take my place for a while, you two.
Look, she really is a stinking journalist.
ls that how you always treat women? -Only foreigners.
Did you every screw anything outside your village?
Fuck off, man!
How they love spanking!
Let the whore go. Anyway, if she stays with us, boys...
Laza, what was it l told you? -We'll fill her with tadpoles.
Where the hell are you going?
Damn stupid chick!
Bring her here!
My, what fluent English, she understood everything!
Let's tie her up!
What's she dreaming about? -America.
Say, do you think she has freckles all over her body?
l'll bet you 20 marks she has. -That's too much.
What are you staring at?
She's not for you, she's cultured.
lt's nicer with culture. -How about some respect.
Lift her up.
lt just slipped out.
Boys, this is all we have. A liter and a half of water.
Professor, don't gulp that water, we'll need it.
Speedy, you're in charge of that. -Yes, sir, Comrade Tito.
Captain, what'd they teach you at military school?
How long will 1 -1 / 2 liters last for Snow White
and the Seven Dwarfs?
l'm not thirsty.
Go ahaead, make fun of me.
You drink like a sissy.
Damn it, like it's your last! -God forbid!
Not coke, just water.
Stop that, idiot. Don't waste water on her.
What are you, Mother Teresa? -Yo, bro'!
Those stinking journalists are to blame for this shit!
Damn it, after a year of war without a scratch
and look at this crater now. -You'll be fine.
You'll pickpocket with your right hand.
l'll get even with her... -Don't move!
What's she shitting about? -She wants to help.
But you'll have to untie her.
lf she comes near me l'll strangle her!
lf she starts for your cock, shall l let her?
Well... l'll tear her to bits!
Laza, slaughter this bitch! -Too bad they didn't hit
your mouth, you wouldn't bullshit so much!
Relax with some music.
Here's "Helmut Khol's Got a Beautiful Hole"!
lf l only had a healthy vein like that! Tell the doctor...
Sure is nice when a man's dreams come true.
His whole life he dreamed of having a needle in his vein
round the clock, and look! He made it!
lt's nice when someone succeeds,
but it should be shared with your friends, right Speedy?
What's that shit you're saying?
J ust kidding, man!
Hey, soldier, want some papaya?
Let's split, man.
Hold on, pal!
What's their problem? -Their heads are screwed up!
Fuck them!
Have you heard the latest news from the front?
The French have conquered Paris!
Say, asshole, what's your nationality?
l'm a junkie!
J unkie...
Thank heavens there's no one to come visit us.
They visit me at night!
Hey, little friend...
lf anyone's interested, we've been here exactly 24 hours.
The guys outside seem tired, too.
They're waiting for us to get nervous and head out.
That's what l'd do, if l were up there.
First, l'd let'em get thirsty.
Let's ask, maybe they've got trained commanders.
Oh Muslims!
Sorry to wake you, l just wanted to tell you,
your makeup's a bit messy.
Leave her alone, Velja, just play us a tune. -OK.
Do you have any favorite song, Captain?... Wait a minute.
Fork! lt's your turn! -l'll go with you, bro'.
No, you just sit there. Enjoy in bloody commie song!
Ask for one of our songs afterwards.
You don't like such classics, anyway.
Fuck your "red" classics!
This is their song. After you'll hear ours,
then you figure out which one is better.
And now: "Top of the chops" show time!
Here is the new singing star,
formerly yours and now ours, Marko!
Cry, baby, cry!
Don't worry about Marko.
Bakir's a slow hand circumciser!
Go over to their side, now! Go!
Now l'm gonna fuck the living daylights out of them!
Come back, you idiot!
Bro'...? -Laza!
They hit my hat!
Look! My hat.
l can walk by myself!
Come on, Laza, get up, back to guard duty!
They hit my hat, motherfuckers.
l'm cold, bro'.
l bet 500 marks that you'll make it!
That's too much.
Too much...
Once again, history is repeating itself.
Raging hordes of evil have risen against
the entire Serbian people. Croatian criminals,
foreign mercenaries, and fanatics of Allah's Jihad,
just as they did 50 years ago, they are attacking
the poorly armed Serbian defenders who are heroically
holding their own on this unfair battle...
Where are you going, bro'? -l've got a job to do.
...their children will not be the victims of Croatian
fascism, assisted by world powers, with intentions
to draw a new map of Europe and create a monster
with a foreboding name:
"The new world order!"
l said to myself, no more!
They commit genocide over the entire Serbian people,
and l sit by calmly, damn their mercenary souls!
No more, buddy! Not another German od Muslim soldier
will set foot here! No more!
How's it up there in Sweden, cold, eh?
But what a standard of living!
Take the picture!
lf you came to take pictures, then do it!
Damn you...
Come on, bro'-in-law!
l'll bet you 1 00... it's not much!
Don't be stingy, Laza!
This is a senseless war! The regime that is responsible
for the death of our sons must go!
We need salvation, our people need peace.
Don't let your lives be run by war profiteers!
They're cute. -Who?
That chubby one in the fur coat.
... love and tolerance!
No one can lie to you anymore!
No lofty goal can justify your futile sacrifice.
Soon you will start lying to yourselves!
ln 1 941 the Kraut aggressed...
Did we have a nice pee?
ln 1 945 the Serb kicked his ass!
Love is the most important! Give love a chance!
Can anyone in this country sleep
while our youth is in this senseless war?
Can you sleep soundly, you, youth of Serbia...
Watch me slam-dunk!
Really, you should be tied down.
The youth of Serbia can sleep soundly now.
Some people think we're headed wrong,
'cause we listen to records and sing rock songs,
but deep inside the battle's hot as hell,
and let me tell you what l know quite well,
comrade Tito count on us!
What are you looking for, Professor?
No one leaves anything behind, them or us.
Forget the books, we'll read after vacation's over!
lt's a shame to throw them away.
Want me to read something?
You really profited from those books. lf you'd taken a TV,
like others, where would you plug it in?
Read. Better listen to you than those pussies down there.
"We noticed it one night, when we were just fooling around.
We noticed a village, our cannon was staring at.
lt was still in flames. And every night afterwards
at the same time, villages were ablaze on the horizon.
We were surrounded by a great circle of strange celebrations
going on in all those places burning in front of us.
And the flames just rose up and licked the clouds..."
Pretty villages are pretty when they burn.
Ugly ones stay ugly, even when they burn.
You would have been the best poet among my students.
When you've been behind bars for so long,
you come out as well-read as Rambeau.
When l see such a fire l always get thirsty.
What's the name of this village? -Who gives a shit!
We set a place on fire and don't even know its name.
We're killing each other for a fistful of ashes.
lf you intellectuals had been asked,
all of Serbia would have gone to hell long ago.
OK, boys, let's move out!
"One village in particular looked very gay.
A few houses, at the bottom of an ugly little valley,
you wouldn't notice during the day. You can't imagine
what it looked like at night, when it burned.
You would say..."
lt's all right, Professor... lt's all right...
Velja, who would you sell it to? -J ust practicing.
To stay in shape for later.
Go ahead and practice.
Good morning, Chetniks!
lt's a nice day to die and you're still asleep!
Good morning, dear "Chets"!
The draft here is killing me! -Milan!
l'll give you this if you give my Mercedes an overhaul.
What's the model? -WHF FMT...
The Mercedes, dumbbell! -600. -That's my specialty.
But don't blow it! -Agreed.
Muslims, are you still up there?
Sumadinac here. Are you still alive, men?
Yes, we're alive!
Hello! Sumadinac you old mongrel, where have you been?
Where are you?
ln a tunnel, two kilometers east of... -Kurtalici!
Ask when the cavalry's coming. -Sumadinac!
Men, what can l say, you'll have to hold on for a while!
Good luck! -Maybe they don't have any horses.
Sumadinac, old mongrel...
What an unique slime you are,
...my friend.
We'd better fix that truck.
You'll end up the tragic heroine
of someone else's news. Translate that!
Closed. All good kids are in bed asleep.
l'm going to tuck in those two now!
Doctor, it's not a replay, give me some in advance,
You'll see the bread tomorrow.
Beg you pardon?
l'm extremely intolerant towards such impudence!
l always brought the dough, what's wrong now?
Be a man! ! A man!
Nurse! Nurse!
Where are you, damn it?! -Nurse!
Soldier, call the doctor!
You really screwed me up!
Milan, please!
So, General, want to look nice for your funeral...
according to regulations?
That's what we got in the army.
And l was a lucky bum, l'd just got hooked on heroin
and socialized, when they said: Go on home, soldier!
Heroin was dirt cheap in '89, the year of "dolce vita".
Keep up the bullshit. l'll get you out of this.
You're safer here with me than in Belgrade with your junkies.
The army didn't tighten you enough.
That army of Tito's was a real traveling circus!
Miss Linel wants to film us, make a story about us.
Milan, how about it?
No. -What filming? Out of the question!
Why not? Let her shoot. ln any case they shit on us
like we came from Hitler's testicles.
Captain, let the kids have their fun.
Let's be gentlemen... -Shoot, freckle-face.
No way! ! Then they put words in your mouth with...
what's it called ... editing,
they can make us look real bad, sully us to hell!
My name is Speedy, l am unreformed drug addict,
currently getting "anti-drug war group therapy",
son of an ex-colonel of the ex-Yugoslav army
who was a lush... -What are you saying, idiot?
Go ahead, Speedy, get it all out, l'm next!
Tell them how you stole hendicaped grannies'purses
in Germany. -Don't stick your nose in my affairs!
l shit on your affairs! Aren't you ashamed
to steal honestly earned money? -Honestly?
You're fighting just to earn another stripe,
damned communist! -Velja...
if you don't stop, l'll shove this down your throat!
Who are you to talk about honesty, you bloody drivel!
Your great honesty, you were always full of that shit.
Do you think, Mr. Captain,
that one single house we set on fire, or they set on fire,
was honestly earned?
To hell it was!
lf it was honest, it wouldn't be so easy to set them on fire.
As long as Tito stuffed US dollars up your ass,
you blathered about brotherhood and unity,
and smiled at each other.
And then the time came to settle the score!
Fine, but why didn't you do it earlier?
lnstead you jacked off for 50 years, drove fancy cars,
screwed the best girls, and now when you can't get it up,
now you want to be honorable.
l shit on that honor of yours
and your whole honorable screwed generation!
Fuck all of you... honest suckers!
l'd shove your face in if you weren't wounded!
lt's just a light wound.
Captain, he was just joking. -Butt out!
Have it your own way, mother-fuckers!
l want to say something for the... NEWS!
l recently saw on TV... Did you know, wretched girl,
that the Serbs are the oldest nation?
When the Kraut and English
and American, 600 years ago,
were eating pork with their fucking hands,
we had this,
and we'd gallantly... pick!
At the Serbian court we ate with a fork
and the Kraut with... his damn fingers!
Serbs... the oldest nation!
lt was this fork that drove us in here. lnto a cave.
Listen carefully! You have no way out!
Come out and surrender and you'll stay alive!
There's another "honest" man.
l, Captain Mislimovic, guarantee your lives.
Captain Muslimovic?
lf you remember, we were in the barracks together.
Sergeant Maksimovic, now captain. Remember?
l see we both got promoted, Captain!
Shame on you, Captain!
How many burned villages will get you another stripe?
Come on out, you deserter!
You betrayed me!
Say, Gvozden, who's that? -My brother-in-law.
Good morning, boys! -Doctor, how's Speedy?
Who? -How's Speedy?
Boys, the doctor can't remember all of you!
Say, Doctor... do you remember that Muslim over there?
He sure has rosy cheeks.
Son, our oath obliges us. -l bet it does, tadpole.
Excuse me? -Listen carefully!
lf Speedy doesn't make it, that one won't either!
l'm not to blame, young man. You and he are the same to me.
You're both screwed up and you're in a foreign country,
so you might choose your words.
l wish you a speedy recovery!
Doctor, it's a matter of cultural differences!
Here's our benefactor!
Everything for our brave boys! Pass these around.
Want "Brut" or "Kouros"?
Catch, pal!
You flinched, here it is on the floor!
Nurse, he dropped his present.
You'll pick it up when you get better!
Doctor, here's a small present for you.
Take care of our boys! -Sloba, we're caring for them
like our very own! -They are the future of Serbia!
ln 1 99 1 the Croats attacked, one day soon
the Serbs will beat them back!
Happy New Year, heroes!
Milan, that frigging doctor's not to blame.
He might have been just like you if they'd butchered
his mother. lnstead, she's walking around Belgrade now,
and he was lucky enough to stay the same
refined frigging doctor. We can only envy him!
You and l and that kid over there can only envy him!
l lost my little Muslim friend, lbro.
God, it would be easier if she wasn't here.
She reminds me of what l'll miss when a bullet hits me.
l couldn't bang her for a barrel of beer.
What about a glass of water?
l'd stick it to her and you, and even to crazy Fork.
Admir... Nazim... -Near my house in Banja Luka
is a fountain. lt has the coldest water.
That's all l think about.
l can picture every single stone in it.
Stop the bullshit, Professor. Don't remind me of the time
l stole a tank truck of beer at the October Fest in Munich.
l got down under it and drank it dry in three days.
Captain, tell them, we said whoever talks about water
has to kneel on cartridges! Go on, fatty, kneel.
lt's a mess, totally screwed up.
But l'll fix it,
everything can be fixed, right?
What good will it do if you get it to work?
Sorry, just mouthing off.
When l was a kid, l thought little people lived
under the hood and made the car work.
Man, l've seen them with my own eyes.
Do you think we'll make it out of here alive?
Hold this.
l got you into this shit, l'll get you out of it,
if it's the last thing l do! Understand?
Safet... ldris...
Cow! -That's not really a Muslim name.
Come kitty, kitty!
We've got to guess her name! Lulabelle, Mary...
Maybe it's Muslims'. -Enver!
That's a bull's name, idiot!
Barbie! Barbie! ! !
No milk today, dear Chetniks...
Anyway, my mother put beer in my bottle.
ls that 1 :0 for us, or did it hit the goalpost?
l'm trying to force myself to feel sorry for the poor guy,
but it won't work! We've gone to hell... it won't work!
Keep on trying, Professor, it might come.
ls it worth living when a man starts feeling like that?
Whose team were you for before the war?
Mostar's or Sarajevo's? -l'm not into soccer.
You just get better, so they don't even the score.
And l'll try to make the winning goal.
Collecting liquid for the radiator? Great idea.
Who's next?
Thanks, l had a beer five days ago and that'll do.
Damn, you peed all over the bottle we have to drink from.
lf you want to refresh yourself, you take the best!
Coca Cola, it's the real thing!
Great "bouquet", home-made?
Let me cross myself.
Have some.
Have some, it's sugar-free.
l mean, diet Coke!
She loves it, let's export it!
Now you're one of ours.
lf a Muslim comes, just boom-boom.
Try it, imagine a Muslim...
Muslims! !
What's up, little Chetnik? lsn't your mouth dry?
Of course not, we got spring water in the tunnel!
Where did you get it from?
From a mobile fountain! -What's that, buddy?
What l used to refresh your old lady with.
Professor, you're some sophisticated comedian.
Well, Chetniks, soon you'll be eating shit!
We didn't come here to insult each other!
Hey, up there, know the one about the Muslim girl
taking a monkey for a walk in Sarajevo?
Come on, Chetnik, go for it! -People asked her
where she got it. She said: from UN forces.
They said, well, why didn't you have an abortion?
One Muslim girl, took a monkey, Chita...
Thanks, thanks...
One more, please! -Thanks, you're a wanderfull audience!
The blond Muslim girl woke up under a cow and looked
at the udder and said, Serbs, you're still here...
You're still here!
You're still here...
Watch the birdie!
Fuck, you killed my audience!
lt's wartime, buddy, we're short on credit.
Here's something until tomorrow. From my dead father.
A gold tick-tock!
ls that from a scout brigade? -He got it from the army.
Give it here!
That's why we'll lose the war.
30 years of service for a snort of dope!
That's not right at all!
Doctor, what if l...?
You can't shoot up here!
Kids play here! OK, buy a ticket! !
Are you still late? -No, l got it this morning!
Great! -Why didn't you say so?
When it started, l was like born again!
Damn, what should we do with this walkman?
He won't be needing it anymore. lnternal bleeding.
Too bad, he was a sweety.
Kill the bloody Croats!
Zagreb, here we come!
Fuck off, zombie!
Thanks, boys, thanks! Let's hear it!
Through the forests and mountains
of our glorious land,
Partizan detachments carry the splendor of battle!
That's great you got the "big M".
All you needed was a baby in the middle of this mess!
l'm stuffed up with this tunnel.
Lisa, let's do it like Romeo and J uliette
and they can film it for a "soap", eh?
Here, take some, this'll make you go woof woof.
Dear Chetniks, we have a great program for you:
The songs of your youth and ours.
l used to love that song.
l still do.
Hurry up, the bell's gonna ring.
Wait, look, "Rocky ll"! -Look, they're screwing.
Quiet, learn something. -lt's gonna ring.
Don't worry, ma'am, it's the long recess.
Hurry, the bell! -The postman always rings twice.
Here it comes, air mail! -No, send it by ship!
We inerrupt this program for a special announcement
from the Central Committee:
Comrade Tito is dead...
Today, May 4, 1 980, at 1 5:05, in Ljubljana,
the heart stopped beating of the great son
of our nationalities and minorities...
Why don't you cry?
How will we live without our Comrade Tito?
l don't know.
You cry first.
l can't.
Muslims, are any of you whores free for a slow dance?
Velja, don't fall for that trick, they'll shoot!
Who cares, l lost my virginity while this song was playing.
Travolta, they'll kill you!
Damned fool!
Tonight, if she's listening, let her hear the pain
in the song l'm singing for her ears alone,
let her carry with her always in her heart,
the life she threw away...
What's wrong, you bums, can't you do any better?
These legs have jumped from the second floor
of the Hamburg Volksbank!
Now, that's better.
Say, Captain, how'd l dance?
What'd you do, Travolta?
l'm too emotional.
That song got to me, it really hit me.
We continue with our "Listeners' requests",
Here's hoping that the Chetnik pig recovers soon.
And here's our shared Hymn:
Hey Slovenes, the spirit of our ancestors still lives...
Now you've got to stand up, that's the custom!
And now since we've had our fun,
we're sending you a broad for your enjoyment!
Here comes a sex bomb!
Go to your own kind and show them your love bites!
She must be full of explosives!
What shell we do?
Tell them what gentlemen we are!
Hello, Chetniks, ladies' choice!
Why her?
She can barely walk, she must be full of explosives!
And what if she isn't? -We'll look like chickens!
Mirjana... please stop, l beg you!
Stop there!
Lady, stop, please!
Fuck, ma'am, stop!
Come over here!
Chill out, woman!
l can't, she's my teacher!
Come to me, baby, come explode on me.
Come on, sweetie!
l can't!
Come to Uncle Velja, l'll give you some candy.
J ust two more steps!
Someone has to!
Milan, please.
What a damned life.
Watch the birdie! -Wait.
One, two, three, four...
Samir, l'll scalp you like a Sitting Bull!
Tighten up your ranks, they can't fit in!
Twelve, thirteen...
Color won't wait! -l have two "lost-in-action"!
What are you doing? -Banging each other.
First he'll do it to me, then l'll do it to him!
What? Get up! -Teacher, you're against brotherhood and unity.
Come along children, picture time!
ldiots, you would've let that woman kill us.
Well, you won't!
lt's all right, Fork. Take it easy.
You orthodox dogs, we send you a pussy and you kill her!
We don't know what else to do to amuse you!
You really disappointed me.
She didn't explode, damn us.
As soon as l get out l'll light a candle for her.
And for Laza. -l didn't have the guts, no one did.
You were the bravest.
l'm going home.
l've had enough.
That Fork's got the brilliant idea.
l'm going home, bro'. That's it.
l'm going home.
Enough's enough.
Well, l'll be off! -Yap, closing up time.
l'm off!
Muslims... we're closing the bar.
No more free drinks.
Captain, do you think it's better to shoot
in the head or the heart? -Get off my back!
l will... Milan, what do you think, eh?
Don't ask me. You figure it out, Velja.
Hey, who's going to help me choose!
They're gone.
Where're you off to, little Chetnik?
l'm going home. -Have a nice trip, pilgrim!
Look at this. This is General's from World War l.
lt's even got his phone number in the memory,
but don't tell anyone. Now this here is...
Brother-in-law! ls that you?
What are you doing here? -l've come along
to make sure you don't bungle things and die.
l don't want my sister wasting money on widow's weeds!
Let's go!
Buddy, come over here.
l can sense the Serbian hero in you.
God be with you! And with you!
God save the Serbs!
lt's showtime, folks!
Yo, bro'!
The man's gone.
They're still here! -This hand's a dud.
They'll shoot again.
l'll wait for the next deal.
You don't have to translate on that shitty American any more.
She understood by herself, but l'll be sorry,
if she doesn't write her story... if there is a story.
And l've got what to say.
l walked to Comrade Tito's funeral 350 kilometers on foot.
lt was on the News.
You find that funny?
Well, it is funny.
He was a smart bastard, Comrade Tito.
He lied a lot... but we all loved him.
350 kilometers on foot. l was younger then.
That was just a stroll walk for me.
Well, kids, it's time to go.
There's no reason to wait. The machine's as good as new.
Come, have some coffee! -l'm not supposed to!
Come on, you know how much we like soldiers.
Only gays are left in Belgrade! -l shouldn't.
Come on! -These guys aren't going anywhere! Let's dance!
Damn helmet. l stuck it over here sometime last week!
Where are you?... Warmer, hotter!
Anyone got some bullets to spare, l'll give them back.
Milan, give this to my mother.
lf anyone gets out of this shit, it'll be you!
Cut the bull, please! -l've got a hunch, buddy!
Here you are, l found you!
No hard feelings, guys, a hunch!
Stop the bullshit, we're going to carry your fat carcass
and find you a nurse with godzilla tits!
Now l'm ready.
When you come to my funeral
and see the miles of babes crying for me,
you'll know who Uncle Velja was...
His mother's fool!
...l gave candy to each of them!
Well, l won't keep you any longer.
Drop by to see me when you've got time!
Real Hollywood slobbering!
This is worth living for.
At least a while longer!
l was just kidding. So long!
Jesus Christ, you really screwed me up!
You, bastard!
Uncle Velja has a present for everybody!
Mom, don't look at me like that.
Everything's been paid for, l just lost the receipts!
Come here! J ust look at it! The papers are clean,
they were laundered with my jeans!
Take me for a spin! -l don't have a license!
Take mine! -Velja, why didn't you write?
Why should l, when you knew l was fine!
Hey, did you finish your freshman year?
Sophomore, bro! -So, soon you'll be an archeologist!
But don't dig me up when l kick the bucket!
Don't worry, we just dig up works of art.
What am l, pulp, you motherfucker?!
Sorry, Mama! Here, punish yourself.
God, you've gotten stronger!
That's the neighbor, she must have seen you arive.
ls the student, Milos Kozic, there? -Yes.
Now he's had it! Healthy, and ignored his call-up twice,
motherfucker... Sorry, ma'am. He's got to come with us!
Archeologist, we've got bones too, but we bury them! -Yap!
You came at the right time, l just got back from a trip.
A little bit of fresh air will do me good.
Kid! Take this, careful how you drive.
The seat goes down on the side, and her legs go up.
Sorry, Mom!
Let's get moving!
The sooner l leave, the sooner l'll be back!
You'll see how great it is in the army.
Jesus, how you conned me, bastard, damn you!
We're gonna make a delicatesse out of you! Smoked Chetniks!
Don't let me down now! Hear?
Let's go, Professor, please!
l'm ready, l found my helmet.
Are you breathing with gills, Chetniks?
Good evening, Serbs.
And good night! -Halil!
Where were you yesterday at the soccer game?
We beat those guys from Kurtalici 5: 1 !
l had to go get circumcised! -Can you pee now?
Of course, why not! -Let me see!
Take a good look.
Whoever has a longer one will get a telegram!
The girls will die laughing when they see you!
Who goes first?
Third and fifth odd!
Luck's on your side, Milan!
Your turn! -First and fifth odd!
How much is seven and six?
Ask the teacher!
l'll take the truck! You take them out on the other side!
Wait, where are you going? Wait!
l won't let you!
Come back! Nurse!
That's our artillery!
Gvozden, what are you doing? Take them out the other side!
Let's not kiss good-bye!
With Marshall Tito, our heroic son,
even the devil will admit we have won,
with heads held high, walk with a grin,
and keep our hand firmly in a fist!
Now you'll meet my brother-in-law.
Here we come, bro'!
Let's go!
l'll carry him!
Those are our boys, they'll bury us in here!
l won't let you! Nurse!
Do you give up? -No!
What do you mean, no? -No!
Here comes the Serbian cavalry!
So you went into the tunnel?
l did!
Why'd you burn our garage? -Why'd you slaughter my mother?
l didn't slaughter anyone!
l didn't set the garage on fire, either!
Who did? That Ogre from the tunnel, maybe?
Did the Ogre do it, Milan?
Do it.
You do it.
Do you give up? -No way!
One of us has got to! -You do it! -No, you do it!
What's up, Lauda!
You do it.
What a bloody mess!
You Ogre, you're some hell of a whore!
We got nice and drunk, didn't we?
But tell me mate... will there be war?
What war, buddy?
RED STAR PRESENTS 04.0 7. 1 999
Who says the Bosnian war destruction cannot be reapired
in record time? There is no better gift at the threshold
of the 2 1 st century than the "Tunnel of Peace",
opened by our dear friends, European and UN officials...