Game Program Attack! - Knife Hawks (Ep #3)


Uploaded by MondoMedia on 04.05.2012

Transcript:
[Hawkeye:] What's that, suckas? You want a knife sandwich?
Served with a side of KNIFE?
With a nice cold KNIFE to wash it down with?
[Pidge:] Yeah. And you'll need some silverware.
Like a fork!
[Hawkeye:] Dammit, Pidge.
[Pidge:] What? [Hawkeye:] That's a knife.
And that wasn't even clever.
[Pidge:] Knife throw.
Whatever, Hawkeye. I live for this shit.
[Hawkeye:] Had enough?
You giggle-bunch of tallywhacks!
Don't let this knife hit your ass on the way out!
All right! They're retreating!
[Pidge:] Seriously?
They're, like, multiplying over here.
And coming after me hardcore!
It's like there's bacon in my pocket.
[Hawkeye:] What?
[Pidge:] Hawkeye, I don't have time to play twenty questions.
I've got incoming.
Triple knife throw!
[Hawkeye:] We don't have that.
[Pidge:] Well, why the shit not?
That would make things like five times easier.
[Hawkeye:] Actually only three times easier.
[Pidge:] Quiet with your math!
You're such a flying buzzkill.
[Hawkeye:] Was that the last of them?
[Pidge:] Probably. Pussies.
[Hawkeye:] Where'd they even come from, anyways?
[Pidge:] Gyno's office. Hehehe.
Pussies.
[Hawkeye:] They just came out the great unknown abyss hole.
[Pidge:] Yeah. What is out there?
[Hawkeye:] No idea. This is all I've ever known.
This land. This air.
In the middle.
What are you doing?
[Pidge:] Living.
[Hawkeye:] Don't do this, Pidge.
[Pidge:] I've got to. [Hawkeye:] Stay here, where it's safe.
[Pidge:] Safe is for the ground. Do you know why god gave us wings?
[Hawkeye:] To... fly?
[Pidge:] To fly!
Sieze the day! Darpe ciem!
[Hawkeye:] Carpe diem. [Pidge:] Carpe diem!
Huh?
I went into the great unknown abyss hole.
Then it brought me here, but...
It's all the same.
Which can only mean...
a mirror world!
[Hawkeye:] Who goes there?
[Pidge:] With an evil mirror Hawkeye!
[Hawkeye:] What? No! Holy shit.
How'd you even get over there?
[Pidge:] Don't play dumb with me.
[Hawkeye:] I'm not. You just -
[Pidge:] Cuz I invented it.
[Hawkeye:] You just disappeared -
[Pidge:] Being dumb.
What?
[Hawkeye:] You just disappeared over there
and reappeared over here.
[Pidge:] Your mirror tricks can't fool me.
[Hawkeye:] No, you don't understand!
[Pidge:] Knife throw!
[Hawkeye:] Agh!
I did it! I won the war!
... or whatever this is.
I gotta go tell GOOD Hawkeye!
Hawkeye! Hawkeye!
You gotta see this dick I just killed!
Hawkeye, nooo!
How can this be?
*gasp*
Unless
in the mirror world
there's also an evil mirror me!
HE must've killed Hawkeye!
Don't worry, buddy. I'll avenge you!
For Hawkeye!
Hm. My most crafty adversary indeed.
He looks like me. He fights like me.
He must THINK like me!
*gasp!* My secrets!
Knife jump!
Drats. Must've just missed him.
Well, if he's not here, then he's gotta be - HERE!
Damn!
Aha!
Okay, new strategy.
Furtive stance.
Aha. There you are.
Hey evil d-bag, suck a dick.
A knife dick!
Knife-dick throw!
Got him! Huzzah, for the kingdom!
What the - agh!
Someone stabbed me in the back.
The irony hurts almost as much as the hole in my body.
At least I got him as good as he got me.
With a knife.
Take this, you evil mirror sons of bitches!
Now... must return home
to my wife, get her pregnant.
And name my firstborn "Hawkeye."
I have been bested!
Death pose.