Downsized - Season 2 Episode 3 Personal Property
Uploaded by overanalyticalprods on 24.05.2011
Transcript:
What are you doing?
I'm just dropping these off.
There's a mailbox right there. Statistically, there is a better chance
of you reading them if you have to pick them off the ground when you get home.
Will you stop that?! I'm spreading the word while nobody's home.
I don't want to be rude. I'm home!
Ma'am, are you feeling lost in this fragile economy?
You've got to be kidding me. Do you feel like all of these trappings
of success have taken you hostage and left you emotionally barren?
Look we already go to church. When you look back at the last few years
of your life, do you find that the only things you recall are doctor's appointments
and reality show season finales? You are paying a mighty large price not to live your own
life. I am o ffering you an opportunity to find yourself,
Mrs. Proud Owner of 424 Birchwood Terrace. Look Mister--
Andy-- Andy, if I catch you lingering around
this house again, I\rquote ll put out an Amber Alert, do you understand?
Yes, ma'am, sorry to intrude. My number is on the flyer! Have a nice day!
What is this? Where did you find that?
At the corner of Birchwood and Are You Out Of Your Mind!
I am fairly sure that in our divorce I was awarded custody of my own life and my
own neighborhood. What are you selling? Is it my stuff?
I have a right to know. The only thing you have a right to is
a grudge and the expiration date has even passed on that.
Excuse me! You have got to be kidding me!
I don't have time for this! I have people coming in an hour! I have a lot
of things to do! You told me you golfed. That's
why I left you these. What are you even doing here?
I'm working. Oh really. Do you have a lemonade stand
now because Cassidy Parker of Jefferson Drive is really dominating that industry.
I told you. I started a business. I didn't realize you could get
paid to be a peeping tom. It's a self-help program.
As in you're helping yourself to other people's money.
No, as in I created a program that teaches people to live more simply and fully and not
be dependant on economic worth. $200! Are you crazy?! This is an antique!
Let's discuss after everyone gets here. It will totally drive a bidding war.
This was my mother's, Priscilla. I only let you have it because you told your
attorney that removing it would screw up the feng shui and your therapist felt that was
the only order you had in your life. If it really means that much to you,
Andy, you can totally bid on it, but I will warn you I once did a Tupperware trade with
the ladies on this block and they are tyrants when it comes to a bargain.
My couch! You are not selling my couch!
My couch according to the state. I picked that out!
I know. I would never have picked that color.
You're stiffing yourself. Do you have any idea how expensive this was?
Do you think I could get more?! I can't believe my assets are
so liquid they're evaporating. Don't be so dramatic. They are
merely moving on to a better place with better equity.
I don't know what to say, Priscilla. If it's about your investment
in the couch, save it for Donna Weisberg. I happen to know she needs a new couch for
her husband's den so he can stop watching sports
in the bedroom. He gets so excited and jumps her every night and she is too exhausted
to make it to her 6 AM Zumba class. You can't miss her. Half of her face is botoxed more
than the other half, so her expressions stop here.
What is this, Priscilla? Well, it's not as if I have any
use for that anymore. Do you have any idea what that cost me?
I want a percentage of the profits on my stuff. I believe there is a document called
our Final Divorce Settlement that has a different opinion on whose stuff this is!
You are living here on an Andy Zenk grant! Oh really! Then why don\rquote t you
call Fred Esteves because he has been hounding us for months for your mortgage payment?!
What? Why do you ask so many questions?! Fine.
40% for the couch and the chair. And the ring. No I will not be making any hasty agreements
with you this time! I will be walking through here first!
I am only agreeing to a split if you drive up the price. There is a number we need
to target. Fine.
How exactly does your business have you wandering around my neighborhood? I just want
to be clear when I file the restraining order. In that case, I want my share in cash!
Fine!
I'm just dropping these off.
There's a mailbox right there. Statistically, there is a better chance
of you reading them if you have to pick them off the ground when you get home.
Will you stop that?! I'm spreading the word while nobody's home.
I don't want to be rude. I'm home!
Ma'am, are you feeling lost in this fragile economy?
You've got to be kidding me. Do you feel like all of these trappings
of success have taken you hostage and left you emotionally barren?
Look we already go to church. When you look back at the last few years
of your life, do you find that the only things you recall are doctor's appointments
and reality show season finales? You are paying a mighty large price not to live your own
life. I am o ffering you an opportunity to find yourself,
Mrs. Proud Owner of 424 Birchwood Terrace. Look Mister--
Andy-- Andy, if I catch you lingering around
this house again, I\rquote ll put out an Amber Alert, do you understand?
Yes, ma'am, sorry to intrude. My number is on the flyer! Have a nice day!
What is this? Where did you find that?
At the corner of Birchwood and Are You Out Of Your Mind!
I am fairly sure that in our divorce I was awarded custody of my own life and my
own neighborhood. What are you selling? Is it my stuff?
I have a right to know. The only thing you have a right to is
a grudge and the expiration date has even passed on that.
Excuse me! You have got to be kidding me!
I don't have time for this! I have people coming in an hour! I have a lot
of things to do! You told me you golfed. That's
why I left you these. What are you even doing here?
I'm working. Oh really. Do you have a lemonade stand
now because Cassidy Parker of Jefferson Drive is really dominating that industry.
I told you. I started a business. I didn't realize you could get
paid to be a peeping tom. It's a self-help program.
As in you're helping yourself to other people's money.
No, as in I created a program that teaches people to live more simply and fully and not
be dependant on economic worth. $200! Are you crazy?! This is an antique!
Let's discuss after everyone gets here. It will totally drive a bidding war.
This was my mother's, Priscilla. I only let you have it because you told your
attorney that removing it would screw up the feng shui and your therapist felt that was
the only order you had in your life. If it really means that much to you,
Andy, you can totally bid on it, but I will warn you I once did a Tupperware trade with
the ladies on this block and they are tyrants when it comes to a bargain.
My couch! You are not selling my couch!
My couch according to the state. I picked that out!
I know. I would never have picked that color.
You're stiffing yourself. Do you have any idea how expensive this was?
Do you think I could get more?! I can't believe my assets are
so liquid they're evaporating. Don't be so dramatic. They are
merely moving on to a better place with better equity.
I don't know what to say, Priscilla. If it's about your investment
in the couch, save it for Donna Weisberg. I happen to know she needs a new couch for
her husband's den so he can stop watching sports
in the bedroom. He gets so excited and jumps her every night and she is too exhausted
to make it to her 6 AM Zumba class. You can't miss her. Half of her face is botoxed more
than the other half, so her expressions stop here.
What is this, Priscilla? Well, it's not as if I have any
use for that anymore. Do you have any idea what that cost me?
I want a percentage of the profits on my stuff. I believe there is a document called
our Final Divorce Settlement that has a different opinion on whose stuff this is!
You are living here on an Andy Zenk grant! Oh really! Then why don\rquote t you
call Fred Esteves because he has been hounding us for months for your mortgage payment?!
What? Why do you ask so many questions?! Fine.
40% for the couch and the chair. And the ring. No I will not be making any hasty agreements
with you this time! I will be walking through here first!
I am only agreeing to a split if you drive up the price. There is a number we need
to target. Fine.
How exactly does your business have you wandering around my neighborhood? I just want
to be clear when I file the restraining order. In that case, I want my share in cash!
Fine!