The School, Episode 1 (2/3) + English captions

Ladies and gentlemen, respected colleagues...
...we have little time!
Have you written it? Excellent.
Alexei Nikolaevich, please help me here, this is short notice!
Some attention, please, colleagues!
So he enters and we, all of us together give a shout-out!
Smile and wake up everyone!
One more thing - do we have champaigne?
Ok!
Anatoly Germanovich!
Go on!
"Happy Birthday to You..."
Congratulations! Congratulations!
Don't, my friends, don't!
I do not celebrate the occasion!
I think you are wrong about that, Anatoly Germanovich!
It's the anniversary!
It's wrong to celebrate in advance, perfectly ok now! Go ahead!
We've never celebrated your Teacher of the Year anyway, so let's commemorate!
Anatoly Germanovich, we are proud of you,
and we'd like to offer our congratulations!
Happy Birthday to You!
Thank you. Thank you, friends, thank you!
Listen up, Vera. You are a liar, you know that?
Where's the new guy?
You said the new cool dude would come.
The school term has started and still only jerks are around.
Chewing gum.
He will come!
Yep, when will that happen?
Vera!
Like he has anything interesting to do here in the beginning of the term...
So you were saying he transferred from some elite school, right?
He did, too.
That he was a total psycho and all that... What you gonna have?
A cola and a chocolate bar, please.
A cola and a choc bar?
Yes.
Vera, are you out of your mind?
With your fat ass you'll have to quit eating chocolate!
Yeah, very funny.
Hey girlies, move over! Step aside!
Hey, why are you so rude? Hello?
Whaddya gonna have? Four beers!
Look, there is queue here!
Wow, there it goes, the rising generation!
It's like YOU are much older.
You are saying I'm not big enough?
No, you are not, actually.
Mine's big enough, unlike guess-whose!
Just hurry up, it's cold!
Put up with it, will you?
So you are the new guy!
Are you taking that seat?
I'm Ilya.
Misha.
Whose seat is it?
Noone's, you can take it.
Noone is of no use to me.
And here?
The chemistry teacher, he'll be making a smoke pellet.
A smoke pellet...
What about over there?
The star! I don't quite know what to call her.
Hi.
Who is sitting next to you?
Noone is.
Do you mind?
No.
Hi!
And this is our Vera -
Surely not mine. Why the heck say hi to her? She doesn't even answer.
Listen. What school are you from?
What business is it of yours?
I've heard it's top-notch.
Just a school, you know. Not many assholes around.
Why did you leave then?
Cuz I'm an asshole!
The star?
Yep.
What a jerk!
Vera, your name should be read L-i-a-r!
Don't freak out! What's your name?
I'm not freakin out! Dimon.
I'm Lekha.
Hey listen, are there any hot chicks in your group?
Yeah. Olya Budilova!
There was this one in a brown shipskin jacket-
I dunno who you mean.
I've seen you together with the flowers!
Oh, it's Ira Shishkova! What's so hot in her?
She's teh bomb, man!
Are you kidding me?
Hello, Anatoly Germanovich!
Happy birthday!
Right.
Come with me, both of you!
Anatoly Germanovich,
Please just don't call the parents?
Shutov.
Me!
I have got quite a record on you.
Well, I am an individual, ain't I?
An individual? A nullity you are.
An individual would not alcoholize the juniors.
He did it on his own!
What are you waiting for? Say it was your own decision!
As for you, Goryayev, I shall definitely call your parents today.
Please don't call my parents, Anatoly Germanovich!
Let them deal with it.
You can call me mother any time!
Firstly, not ME mother, but MY mother.
Secondly, it's pointless.
I suggest we talk on your examination.
You were planning to enter the history department, I think?
Maybe I'm not.
That's right, Shutov.
Because the future historian would not suck on beer instead of attending the history lesson.
What if I'm off history. Don't wanna be like you.
In any case -
In any case you won't make it.
I apologize, Anatoly Germanovich. It won't happen again.
Right. Go on and join your classes. We shall speak later.
What is your job position called, Svetlana Victorovna?
My job position?
Yes.
A school secretary.
I thought it was a barmaid.
Why are you working here after all?
This is not as a matter of fact your vocation!
It's just that it's your anniversary, we take pains to do it right.
What does it have to do with my anniversary?
If you have such a desire to drink, drink then.
But do remember to fill out the journals, I beg you.
Come up for an extra helping.
Mom, it's not necessary...
Just hurry up, Zadoyev, come on, you'll talk later.
Extra go here!
I'm still growing!
You agreed on that?
Yeah, right!
All right.
Hey, Dasha.
No mashed potatoes for me.
Hunky, isn't he?
He's all right.
Hello, I said without mashed potatoes.
Thanks.
Will you have more of that, bro?
Here, help yourself, my dear.
Vadik, would you like a cutlet?
Of course!
What do you say about the newcomer, girls?
A total loser, right, Olya?
Nothing much. A nobody.
Are you sure?
Korolev, how can anyone compare with you?
Lay off!
Hey, listen, Vera! Vera!
Wanna hook up with the new guy?
It's not my fault he's a jerk.
"It's not my fault he's a jerk!"
Hook up with him, it'll be so cool, really!
- Budilova, leave me alone!
Vera, I've been thinking, you need a boyfriend!
Olya, look. The way Lekha from 10 A is staring at you! He has fallen for you.
(How can eat that, dude?)
(What?)
(Think it tastes ok? Anything's good as long as it's free, right?)
Goryaev, bon appetit!
Eat up! Or you won't be strong!
Mom, there is no need in that...
Girls don't like the weak ones.
What girls, mom? There's a physics lesson coming!
Eat up.
Multiple examples of oscillatory motion can be witnessed in everyday life.
Some examples of oscillatory motion are - Girls, write that down!
Some examples of osci -
Right.
Dyatlov, fetch some chalk please!
Some examples of oscillatory movement are -
Olya! Olya, put that away now!
Some examples of oscillatory movement are the movements of -
- of the needle in the sewing machine, the swings, the movement of -
Isayev!
The manner should be a lot smoother.
Or else it's not oscillatory movement,
but some kind of convulsions!
Thus!
Bonk! Bonk! Bonk!
I dunno... Korolev, you are laughing in such a way
that one might think that you know almost everything about oscillatory movement!
I'm sure it's not so.
All right, let's move on to -
What are you talking about?
Good morning, young man! It's a physics lesson, actually.
Your last name is -
Epifanov.
Nice to meet you!
I got the impression you were talking about sex, hinting at your great experience.
Get up and leave the classroom, please.
All right.
Good bye!
Natalia Nikolaevna, don't take much notice, the lad's just a bit dumb.
Only if he is so dumb, why isn't he in group B now, but here?...
Timur, how long can this last? What, are you daydreaming?
Repeat what we have just studied, please.
(In his sleep)
Silence!
Er... Oscillatory movement...
Well. In your own words, come on, the way you undestood it!
Can I answer next time?
No, you can not.
(as usual)
Why are you so dumb? I just can't -
Switch on your logic please, can't you switch on your imagination?
It's elementary! It's the easiest topic during this term!
I can't!
I dunno...
What are you...?
Careful! ... There go the cutlets!
Yuck.