How To Handle Abuse

Uploaded by DattatreyaSivaBaba on 11.07.2007

A woman came to me and then said that the environment in her work place is very abusive
and I asked her to explain what really happened. She told me that she could never get support
from her manager, the manager would never listen to her, would cut her off all the time
and she wanted my advice on how to solve this problem. I told her that I have never understood
abuse; not that abuse doesn’t exist, it does exist, but then the most important thing
is to know actually couple of things. One is that abuse is also an opportunity. The
second is to ask why did I attract this abuse. First I will talk about abuse as an opportunity,
not only abuse but everything in life is an opportunity because the person who is supposedly
abusing is opening up a new area that you are not willing to look at or may be even
to understand that this guy is not going to listen to me and I have to do something about
it. So there are tremendous opportunities with abuse, learning opportunities; you really
get frustrated only when you are emotional or you have an attitude towards it. To say
simply that it is such abusive that I can’t stay here is a cop-up out response, it’s
not going to help. Secondly, I said that why did I create this abusive response? It is
much deeper introspection and when you go deep and analyze, you will understand that
this is not only in this particular case and I see abuse everywhere with friends, relatives
and my own co-workers or managers. So this is coming over and over again to me which
means I am attracting. If you begin to accept that you are attracting it then you can find
a solution to it.