Womens Flotilla - World Cup Fest

Put your hands together for Pinchas Levinson
[Clapping]
Yes, thank you David, please a round of applause for David, he makes this all possible
A real pleasure to be here, before such a friendly audience
Pinchas Levinson, third of July, TheDailySlog
okay so this wasn't such a big week, the big news of the week was the march
for Gilad Shalit, anybody here march with them
Any body here march out with that? No,
He starts..
Woe, his parents
led some thousands of people, from Mitzpeh Hila
and fourteen days later their going to show up
in Jerusalem
in front of
Bibi's residence, you know right
You know they have on their GPS...ten days turn left
its...you know everyone is trying to get in on the act, even the Hamas are really taken by this
OK, so what's their shtick in this?
They promise that the next person they kidnap will live close to J'm
so that everyone shouldn't have such a far walk
and of course the latest bumper stickers, have you seen them?
"I got caught in a traffic jam for Gilad Shalit"
OK, whatever,
you know everyone can't participate.
The education Ministry is getting into the act right you know
for all those kids who can't go on the walk of life in Poland,
Now their going to go on the walk of life for Gilad Shalit
You see, everyone can participate
Eli Ishai, right, you heard him:
"See what I'm doing for this Ashkenazi boy"
Everyone is going on the bandwagon
Of course, as usual, the youth of the country: "You know it's hot out there!"
"Can't we just send him an SMS message?"
That's really the more standard response
And the last peoplse are of course, the participants in the Kochav Nolad, "A star
is born" show, you know,
The last guy, the last reject realized that after 15 seconds, he wasn't in the march
and nothing is gonna happen
okay, okay poor Gilad and his family
There has been a lot of political news this week.
Among those the most inconsequential was Dan Halutz...anybody know who Dan Halutz is?..
The somewhat disgraced former commander of the Israeli army, right
He announced that he is going into Politics, OK?
You know, this is the groundswell, everybody wants me...
OK, he's joining Kadima, those poor people of Kadima, really, you know
Ehud Barak says to him, Oh yeah, you're the man, you're in the right
place at the right time
And, of course they sold all the Kadima stock
about five minutes before he joined,
As he did with the war.
And of course this week we had Rod Stewart was here, right, you know
sixty five years old and kind of young for a visiting rock star.
He had all of 6,000 people
That's embarassing. He flies in on his private jet, you know
So, OK, OK, up until the last minute, there were all
.. He was hoping that some Palestinian group would ask him to cancel the show, as they do with all of them
but no, no
He stayed and he put it on, and the promoter wanted to change his name, you know,
maybe "Rod Peretz" get some local support...
He stuck with Rod Stewart and he came and he left...and then right,
this women's flotilla, that Dave was talking about, and now there is a women's flotilla that left Lebanon, you know
two weeks ago
and its clear by now that the whole thing
was a prop
to get
to get thses women out of the house so their husbands could watch the world cup in peace
you know, I mean that's clearly why and the army threatened
the ultimate with the with these women now
and of course when they land on the ship
with the paintball
their goning to bring
clashing colors with the bullets
and of course the women are "whew!"
Anyway, anybody here caught up in the world cup fever
I mean here in Israel it's just crazy, right, I get into a cab, and the driver
goes, "Hey, no hands!"
and you know that's the way he was driving...
would-be soccer players
It (the joke) worked in America
So Bibi is leaving tomorrow for his Tuesday meeting
with Barack Obama, we all wish him well, ...
...of course one of the conditions of getting into this meeting was that he had to lighten up on the
siege of Gaza, OK, so
In the end, he says. "Look, I didn't change my mind, it was Obama who changed my mind
OK, so he's gotta let in all the...
He's really done a big change...He's letting in all the necessary building materials: He's letting in the cement and the iron and the
Chinese workers...I mean they are really going to be able to go to town now,..in Gaza
and in America, of course, they have this
Russian..spy...
disaster.
It's such a mindset, they send 10 Russians to America to places like New Jersey and Texas, even,..
and go infiltrate...
it's just unbelievable. You know, just go on the internet and get the same stuff
The Russian mentality, but the weird thing is that
they have nothing like the Russian
invasive spy procedures like we have here, I mean like here, every time you go into a mall there's some Russian
going through your personal belongings, you know, we really have a Russian spy network here... You know, what do they know from Russians...
Anyway, you know they went to America and they blended in and pretended they liked soccer, and the whole bit
and it just didn't work
And this comes at an awkward time for Obama, OK
who spent the last year and a half
trying to "restart" with the Russians
So he takes Medvedev to this burger
place..and of course on the other side of the counter
is General McCrystal serving burgers...
So then Medvedev says "I'll pay for it"
And Obama says, "Nah, don't worry about it, we're gonna stick it to our grandchildren"
That's the way Obama goes out to eat
He's not worried about paying for anything.
Anyway, tomorrow is July 4th, right,
It's a great holiday for Americans, you know, you don't have to get any presents, right
And you don't have to go to the church, you know
It's just the things that
Americans love, you get alchohol and you get a
lighter and a
the trunk full of explosives
I mean what could be more American, than a holiday like that, I mean it's just a great time for everyone.
And the great thing about the fireworks is of course that it drowns out all the gunfire, you know
it's really a great time in America, if you have never seen July 4th there, you really have to
July 1st was Canada day, anyone here...
And they have the perfect blessing in Canada, OK I was reading about..
It's
"May all your bacon always be ham." I mean doesn't speak to us Jews?
what is better than that?
This week was the third twilight movie, the Vampire movie. Anyone see the second one,
"Love at first bite"? I don't know
about you, but I liked Vampire movies in the classic sense,
things start out normal and quiet,
..and gradually it gets creepier and creepier, you know like this latest Al Gore sex scandal,
I mean those are the kind of Vampire movies I liked,
...not anymore, that's sort of history.
There's a new Harry Potter theme park in Florida
right, you know,
the magic is amazing.
You go up to the guy at the ticket window and
before you know it, all your cash is gone
and this is truly amazing magic
in American standards.
And of course this week
Warren Buffett and Bill Gates started a new initiative, right
And that is that the super wealthy should part with half their money
But don't we hae something like this, called divorce
Anyway, anyway, this week the white house budget director resigned.
There's a white house budget director? What has he been doing for the last year and a half
And the last bit of news I'll give you is that in California
this couple was at
Wal Mart and they were arrested, OK,
because they were trying to sell their kid for $25
what did Wal Mart say? Well first they said they were horrified,
but then they said, this shows you how low our everyday prices are!
Anyway, thank you very much, you've been a lovely audience, "The Daily Slog"