THE VMAs & OTHER THINGS THAT BLEW HARDER THAN HURRICANE IRENE

Hello and welcome to the Monday Show
if you're not familiar, my name is Philip DeFranco
and this show really isn't a show
it's just me talking about some of the stuff that mattered in the news to me
starting with: the VMAs were on last night
and rather than bore you with all the details
the things that stood out to me
one: it really should've been called, the VMAs
should've been called the BMAs and that was because
the biggest thing of the night was the Beyoncé Maternity Annoucement
which I say good hopefully she makes
a baby and then we have another person that can
actually sing, that'll be fantastic
then the Jersey Shore guys were and
what the hell was Deena wearing?
she looked like a slutty piñata filled with hepatitis
Justin Bieber was there with his girlfriend Selena Gomez
who was hot and apparently does not mind
that he has a pet snake, yeah why not
Kim Kardashian was there and of course the only reason we're talking about her
is because of those hips, oh those his
Lady Gaga fell off a piano
and honestly one of the biggest things of night was Tyler the Creator
won best new artist, a lot of people didn't know
who he is, he has a rabid fan base online
he gave one of the most inspiring acceptance speech of all time
"Oh shit"
that's me paraphrasing and it looked like he was
going to cry on stage and then
in a post interview he said he started crying
after he went off stage and hugged Kanye West
and a lot of people are saying that fueled the gay rumor
and I don't understand why we still don't live an age
where two guys can just embrace
there's nothing wrong
and to those people I say for shame
and guys we move onto one of my favorite people
and that is Michele Bachmann
that lady Republican that's running for President
you know she's in the news every now and then because she makes
little mistakes, you know confusing Elvis's birthday
with actually the day that he died
little things, but Michele is in the news because she has
new quote yay, that quote being


oh this is so good already






So Hurricane Irene, which we will talk about
more later in the video, has killed at least 25 people
is an act of god because
god thinks the American people
are angry at their government
so god made a weak ass earthquake
and a hurricane
to kill people so that we would realize
"oh we should cut government spending" yeah
no that sounds like a likely thing to happen
if you're are stupid
you're stupid Michele Bachmann
how do you win straw pulls?
who are you and/or your husband blowing?
boggles my mind and we move on
to news of Zoe Saldana
sadly it's not because she's in tight clothes, rather
she premired in a movie where she wore very tight
and hot clothing, Colombiana
and it came in second place over the weekend after
making $10.3 million
being beaten by a movie that is very good
but also in it's third week, The Help
Emma Stone I love your face
but Zoe Saldana in a flop, it hurts my soul
then again even Zoe said the marketing
for the movie was just stupid because
essentially they were like, "You know how Jason Statham
beats up dudes?" yeah what if Jason Statham
was a hot chick you wanted to have sex with
because he had a vagina" I mean I would yeah
but actually that's great marketing Zoe
you're wrong Zoe, still love your face
then a kind of hilarious story about some friends
going paintballing, a 26 year old
woman went out, got hit in a very
weird way, specifically she got
hit in the boob, happened to have breast implants
and it popped, it exploded inside of her body and
possibly they are going to pay for it
but more importantly, they will now have a disclaimer
that says if you have breast implants you need sign
this waiver, don't sue us if your titties pop
I'm paraphrasing, and now you know
most of the time those weird things that are in contracts
and waivers, because some weird stuff happened
and then we move onto a story about a guy named Joseph Son
a 40 year old guy that may look familiar because
he played that one dude that threw a shoe
in Austin Powers

well according to new DNA evidence
it turns out Son kidnapped, rapped
and tortured a woman in 1990
the new evidence which came into the case in 2008
linked Joseph to the crime that he commited
7 years before he would appear in Austin Powers
he will be sentenced September 19
and faces up to 15 years in jail
and main point it's good to see DNA evidence
not only freeing innocent people
but locking up the scumbags that got away with it
and guys because there is so much fail in the news today
we have to have at least one win story
and that's why we're briefly going to talk about Rob Spence
Rob only has one working eye and a long time ago
we talked about Rob because he put in a cyborg eye
just a fake eye with a red light, kinda freaky
but Rob has been working with tech companies
to develop a camera that fits into his eye socket
that transmits to his computer
which is awesome, he's like the ultimate vlogger
it is not only a good video but
it is a part of the Stuff Phil Likes

that we launched last Thursday, you guys got it over 100,000 subscribers
so along with every Philip DeFranco Show
if you want to check out the awesome videos I liked of the day
just things that stood out

But guys as always, my name is Philip DeFranco
and you've just been Phill'd in
and I will see you tomorrow