Beth Learns to Sing w/ Chescaleigh - 4/17/12 (FULL EP)


Uploaded by MyDamnChannel on 17.04.2012

Transcript:

BETH: I'm gonna do a back flip, in five,
four, three, two, one--
(THEME SONG)

Oh-- you guys see that?
Wasn't that awesome?
Hey there, it's Tuesday, it's MyDamnChannel LIVE.
We're doin' it again.
I was just in a live chat with some of you.
I feel so connected to you.
But right now, I want to talk about Girls, because
everybody else is.
Uh, I--I'm talking--
talking about the HBO show Girls, I'm not just talking
about girls.
Um, I feel like I'm still a girl because I have all of my
college furniture.
I think that when I buy a, a kitchen table,
then I'll be a woman.
If I ever buy a kitchen table--
I can't even imagine--
I don't even--
I don't even know how you do that.
Anyways, Liz Dunham, the creator of the show, is also a
girl, um, because she's 24.
There's no other reason.
She's also--
she's--
I mean, she's a woman.
But she's also the writer, director,
and star of the show.
What the eff?
When I was 24, [CLEARS THROAT]
I was doing some of this.
That is, making a really bad, never-see-the-light-of-day,
thank God, short film.
OK?
That's a zombie coming for me.
And I was doing some of this.
Ha, that is me.
I was not a dominatrix, I wasn't doing--
I wasn't being a dominatrix, I just was in a really bad play,
in a theater that sat about 20 people.
So I just was being that in that show.
Good stuff.
OK, so I was doing that, and she's doing this show on HBO.
We're all still girls.
Just livin' and sexin' in New York City, but everyone's
nervous because one of the girls is Brian Williams'
daughter, so I--
slash, we-- feel no need to see her boobies.
He won't like that-- daddy won't like that.
Needless to say, I feel like I can talk about this show a
little easier than "Game of Thrones." Don't fire me.
I have cultural relevance.
Um, here's a fun fact.
I went to Catholic school.
So I think that this next video is hilarious.
And it also makes me feel very guilty.
And while you enjoy it, I'm gonna be hanging out in the
YouTube comments with you, so I'll see there
in three, two, one--
go.
[CHIMES]
-Sunday, Sunday, Sunday.
Prepare to be 4 given--
at church.
Slap on your Sunday best, and kneel before
our Lord and savior.
Jesus.
Christ.
Now stand.
-Now sit.
-Now rise.
-Now sit.
-Now kneel, in one of our many pews.
[EXPLOSION]
Christ is God.
Christ is risen.
-Won't you come again?
-And remember, church is always free.
-Swing by early and confess your sins.
Stick around afterwards, for Your Mother The Redeemer
Catechism Bake Sale--
-Bake Sale--
-This Sunday, a special, glorious
performance by Pastor Chris.
-He has the fingers of angels.
-Don't miss it.
Don't sloth around till Christmas or Easter.
-This is an event you can't miss--
'cause if you do, you go to hell--
---unless you confess your sins--
---then you're fine.
-Light a candle.
-Say a prayer.
-Receive his body.
-Taste his blood.
-All are welcome in the house of the Lord.
Except if you're gay.
-Ew.
-Afterwards, go right across the street to the diner, for
buttermilk pancakes.
-So go to church.
-Happening every Sunday.
Sunday.
Sunday.
A--
men.

MALE VOICE (OFFSCREEN): Workless.
JEN: Good morning.
I'm running so late today.
-Oh, hey, Jen.
JEN: Oh, it looks so good in here.
Can I help you do anything?
What?
-Um, you have something--
JEN: Something?
-On your lip.
JEN: Oh.
Oh, this?
It's nothing.
I--
I don't have anything, I just--
I get 'em when I'm stressed out.
Is it-- is it really that noticeable?
-Well, no, it's just--
JEN: I'm gonna put a little bit of powder on it.

Better?
-Uh--
JEN: I stopped and got the brand new pumpkin spice latte,
it's so good.
-Oh.
JEN: Have you had it?
Try it.
-No.
JEN: Yes.
No, no, try it.
-No, I'm fine--
JEN: Try it.
-No.
Jesus, back it up.
God--
JEN: Look at all the snacks you brought.
-Brian's paperweight has been glued to his desk.
JEN: Ah, you're the best.
Gags.
Chips and dip?
-Who made this?
-I did.
So it's--
-OK.
-Yeah.
JEN: So good.
-Mm- hm.
JEN: Mm-hm.
-Mm.
Mm.
JEN: You're a double-dipper too, huh?
Your secret's safe with me.
I am, too.
[SPIT-TAKE]
-I need a drink.
-Oh, no that's Jen's--
JEN: Well it's good, right?
-I'm gonna puke.
-Heeere's the birthday cake, huh?
-Sshhh.
It's a surprise.
Don't forget.
JEN: Oh, that is good.
Have some.
Have some.
It's delicious.
-No, thanks--
-Hey, everybody, I brought Samson.
-Ohh--
-Samson?
Samson?
SAMSON: Whaaa--
JEN: Look at what a big boy you are.
You're such a good boy--
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
[SAMSON CRIES THROUGHOUT]
JEN: He's just a kid--
Surprise!

What?
-Oh, no.
Oh, God--
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
-Who's the CPR administrator in the office?
JEN: Uh-- oh, it's me-- it's me--
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
-No-- no, no, no no no--
-Just let me die!
[CHAOTIC VOICES]
JEN: What?
This?
-Oh, no--
JEN: This is nothing.
SAMSON: Mama, that's [INAUDIBLE].

BETH: Hey, guys.
I'm here with my-- whoa--
I'm here with my good friend, maybe yours, it's Francesca
Ramsey, a/k/a Chescaleigh.
FRANCESCA: Hey--
BETH: She's a YouTube celebrity, you probably
already knew that.
But I want to use Fran today for something very specific.
I'm using you.
Um--
FRANCESCA: Either way.
BETH: Yeah.
Permission granted.
I've been working on all the other elements.
I want to make this YouTube music video.
You guys know?
And I've been working on the other elements, like the style
and the look, but I keep coming back to this one thing,
which is that I can't sing.
FRANCESCA: Oh, yes--
BETH: So, and you can--
FRANCESCA: That doesn't stop anyone.
I mean, look at Rhianna, right?
I mean--
BETH: I know.
Oh--
FRANCESCA: Oh.
Sorry.
BETH: Well, um, ah--
I--
FRANCESCA: You can do it.
BETH: I--
I want you to teach me, and I've just brought you to the--
we're just going to do a little--
you're-- show me how to do some people,
and I will try and--
FRANCESCA: Yeah, OK.
BETH: --we'll work this together.
FRANCESCA: We can do it.
BETH: I'm thinking, let's just--
I'm thinking it has to be pop, because I'm not--
I'm willing to acknowledge that that's the
best way to get it.
FRANCESCA: You do have a very "pop" look.
BETH: I mean, do-- are you guys seeing
these pants I'm wearing?
FRANCESCA: The pants are--
hot.
BETH: OK.
Anyway, uh, let's start off with, like, maybe something
Britney Spears.
I feel like she is an easy person to--
FRANCESCA: Perfect.
BETH: --emulate--
FRANCESCA: So--
BETH: --'cause she can't really--
FRANCESCA: Britney is easy.
All you have to do is sound like a crying baby.
So, like, uh, uh, I wanna go, go, go, all the way, way, when
it comes to my man to night--
BETH: That's very good.
Yeah, That's very good, and it sounds doable.
I can--
FRANCESCA: Easy.
BETH: --OK.
I'm gonna try it.
[CLEARS THROAT]
Yeah, so it's a crying baby.
FRANCESCA: Yep.
BETH: I'm [INAUDIBLE]
I wanna go, go, go--
[CRYING]
That's just, like, the most-- that's annoying.
FRANCESCA: I thought it was great.
BETH: I would be, like, shut that baby up.
So let's try something that--
I have more of a vocal range--
FRANCESCA: Yeah, OK--
BETH: I'd like to, like, highlight that, so, something
Christina Aguilera-y--
FRANCESCA: Oh, perfect.
BETH: --yeah.
FRANCESCA: So Christina, lots of growling, um, and probably
no enunciation.
We don't want to know what you're actually saying.
BETH: Right.
I don't have lyrics anyway, so this is perfect.
FRANCESCA: Exactly.
Perfect.
So--
[NONSENSE SINGING]
BETH: Wow.
That so--
FRANCESCA: Growling.
BETH: Yeah.
OK.
I feel it, like Christina's in the room, I
feel that I'm gonna--
ahem--
K.
FRANCESCA: You growl.
BETH: Yeah.
Yeah.
I just have to build myself up every time, apparently.
FRANCESCA: You can do it.
[NONSENSE SINGING]
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
BETH: 'Cause she keeps it--
FRANCESCA: [INAUDIBLE] --kazoo.
I heard the growl--
BETH: See, that's not necessarily what I want.
But what I do--
I would like to do, like, something--
I feel like my body wants to get involved.
FRANCESCA: Oh--
like choreo--
some choreography--
BETH: Some, like, dancing, like, some lower--
I'm feeling like I'm--
so, like, Shakira.
FRANCESCA: Perfect.
Shakira is great.
You really have to engage the abdominals.
BETH: OK.
FRANCESCA: So it's--
[NONSENSE SINGING]
BETH: Wow.
I definitely can't do that last part.
But I'm gonna try it.
FRANCESCA: You could do it.
BETH: 'Cause I feel like, if I get the body-- if I get it--
that I could just--
FRANCESCA: Yeah, so you just kind of engage, and then this,
just, like, makes the sound come out.
BETH: OK.
More, like, in a Zumba class.
I don't know what that is--
FRANCESCA: Yeah.
BETH: --what that means, if that's what a
Zumba class is like.
FRANCESCA: Try to sound like a goat.
BETH: OK.
FRANCESCA: [IMITATING A GOAT]
BETH: Wait-- what does a goat do?
No, wait--
[IMITATING A GOAT]
And then the ending, with the big, uh, finish.
[NONSENSE SINGING]
Wow, that was almost--
FRANCESCA: Yeah.
BETH: --magical.
FRANCESCA: That was good.
BETH: Yes.
Not-- not the best.
I would like--
FRANCESCA: You sold me.
BETH: Mm--
I feel like I need power, like a feminine, like, Gwen
Stefani, I have these pants on again--
FRANCESCA: Yeah, these are very Gwen Stefani--
BETH: --I feel like I need that.
FRANCESCA: OK.
BETH: Can you-- can you--
can you show me that?
FRANCESCA: Uh huh.
That's my-- all the girls stomp your feet like this.
A few times I've been around that track 'cause I ain't no
Hollaback Girl, I ain't no Hollaback Girl--
BETH: Yeah.
FRANCESCA: So kind of baby-ish--
BETH: That sounds, yeah--
FRANCESCA: --a little bit--
BETH: I-- that-- yes, I feel--
FRANCESCA: Back of the throat, back-- put it way back here.
BETH: Yeah.
Um, 'Cause I ain't no Hollaback Girl, and I ain't no
Hollaback Girl, the shit is my now, [INAUDIBLE]
I am, I am, I am, the shit [INAUDIBLE].
That sounds-- that sounds like her, I think--
FRANCESCA: Yeah.
That one was really good.
BETH: L'il-- li'l shit--
[INAUDIBLE NONSENSE]

So I think that might be--
that might be the winner?
I--
I thought [INAUDIBLE]--
FRANCESCA: Yeah.
Tell us in the comments.
BETH: Let us know which of these was working out.
Um, we're going for a big hit here.
FRANCESCA: I think--
maybe we could, like, mix all of them.
BETH: You know--
FRANCESCA: 'Cause I think that if you mixed all of them, I
mean, these are all really successful singers--
BETH: Yeah.
FRANCESCA: --you kind of can't go wrong with
a little bit of--
BETH: You're a superstar.
FRANCESCA: Yeah.
BETH: [INAUDIBLE]
for one.
Can you show me how I do that?
No, no, [NONSENSE SINGING]
BETH: I saw all of the Girls in you in that one.
Uh, I can totally do that.
FRANCESCA: Yeah.
BETH: Um, I feel like--
it's like snakes up your body, so it's like--
[NONSENSE SINGING]
You don't need to sing to be a pop star.
FRANCESCA: No, not at all--
BETH: That's what I just learned.
FRANCESCA: I'm gonna make that my ringtone.
Right now.
BETH: Oh, that's a-- that's a good first step.
A ringtone, and then, like, a huge YouTube video, and then
become, you know, like, a pop sensation.
FRANCESCA: I have faith in you.
You could do it.
BETH: Thanks, Fran.
Thanks for guiding me through that.
Um, and here's some proof--
I think I have some proof that anyone can make a music video.
Even a zombie.
This is from Co-op of the Damned.
It's called, "Braaaaiinss."
[MUSIC - CO-OP OF THE DAMNED, "BRAAAAIINSS"]

-McMayhem!
-This is Napping With Wigs.

-McMayhem!

BETH: We'll see that full video from McMayhem tomorrow,
along with more new videos, and Michael Showalter will be
here, and together we're going to take your comments to a
whole new level.
We're going to be looking at and talking about your
comments live.
Me and Michael.
Michael and me.
I love him.
I'm so pumped.
And I love you.
Thanks for joining us today.
Thanks to Francesca.
Um, I'm sor--
I--
I, um, I'll throw you an apology, but
also, you're welcome.
I'm gonna be hanging out in Twitter Land right now--
in like, thirty seconds-- so we'll see you there.
TheBethHoyt.
See you tomorrow, and don't forget about that thing that
you just forgot about.
(THEME
SONG)