PuNanny Diaries - Episode 1, The Pilot

Uploaded by punannydiaries on 08.10.2009

(cell phone rings)
Cozy: James.
Cozy: James!
James: Mmmm...
Cozy: Check your phone.
James: I'll check it later.
(cell phone rings)
James: Gimme my damn phone!
Cozy: Thought you were sleep?!
James: Gimme my damn phone.
Cozy: Wanna see you A-S-A-P so I can F star star star the S-H star star outta you...
James: Wrong number. That's meant for somebody else.
Cozy: ...and James, the mole on your chest makes me crazy.
James: Sorry babe.
Cozy: I'm sick of you James.
James: Hey...Hey.
Cozy: Get out!
James: Hey Cozy.
Cozy: Get out! Get out!
James: Hey! Hey! Hey!
Cozy: What?! What's that?
James: Its the lease.
Iris: How could you not know you weren't on the lease?
Cozy: Iris don't.
Iris: Told you! I told you! I told you!
James: You ain't takin' Shuga!
Cozy: I'm taking Shuga!!!
Iris: We're comin' back to key his car tonight right?
Cozy: Iris!
Iris: What?
Iris: Did you know the human brain feels no pain? You could be totally conscious, skull split wide open and someone just poke, poke, poke...nothing
Cozy: Can't believe he was still cheating.
Iris: That's because the actual nerves that register pain aren't located in the brain. Few people know that.
Cozy: I guess the signs were still there.
Iris: You feel pain in every other part of the body. Just not here.
Cozy: He said they'd been seeing each other for three years. Oh god, I was the other woman and didn't even know it.
Iris: Do you really want to know what your problem is?
Iris: You have a tendency to get attached to soon and with the wrong people. And how do you get so attached.
Cozy: How?
Iris: You give it up too soon.
Cozy: My heart?
Iris: No, that ass! The coochie, the snatch, the love tunnel, cherry pie, heavens gate, the cookie jar, the yogurt box. The Punanny girl! You've got to treat it likes its gold. Make 'em hunt for it.
Cozy: But I do not give it up.
Iris: Case in point, the liar...
James: Course those are yours! Why else'd they be in the living room, stuffed in the couch, deep under the cushions with a matching bra.
Iris: The critic...
Craig: You goin' wear your hair like that? What about your toes? They're lookin' a little chipped.
Iris: The thug...
Tarver: Look girl, I need a couple of bucks. Moms don't get her check 'til next week. Need to run to Rent-A-Rim. Ya gon' help me?
Tarver: Come on...you gonna help me? That's my girl. Go get your things. That's my girl...Yes?
Tarver: That there a nice purse with money in it. For me! Girl will you do that though. Where you workin'? Workin' big this week?
Tarver: So that means we gonna get something to eat?
Cozy: Yeah.
Tarver: You paying?
Iris: The sicko...
Elton: Kick me.
Cozy: What!?!
Elton: Kick me. Kick me. Kick me right there come on...Ohhhhhhhh!
Iris: Should I go on?
Cozy: No.
Iris: Wrong guys. You're mind is clouded.
Cozy: Relationships...Abstinence.