Hang out with Beth Hoyt! - 9/13/12 (Full Ep)

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BETH HOYT: Beth Hoyt, Bacon number.

It's three.
It's three, you guys.
Me, to Kirsten Dunst, to--
I was in Bachelorette with her.
And then she kissed Brad Pitt in Interview with the Vampire.
And Brad Pitt was in Sleeper.
Kevin Bacon, three.
Boom.
Hi, you guys, I'm Beth Hoyt.
This is My Damn Channel LIVE.
And it's Thursday, September 13th.
Guess what today is?
It's Fortune Cookie Day.
It is.
The internet told me so.
So we got a bunch of cookies in a noisy bag.
Oh, I hope they don't break.
Fortune cookie bag.
OK And, um--
hi.
Look at all these cookies.
Let's read these fortunes.
I need a lot of fortunes for today, um.
And-- oh, no is this bad luck?
It's broken.
OK, well--
guess what else?
Luckily, guess what else it is?
Again, these are facts from the internet, you guys.
It's Defy Superstition Day.
It really is.
Which means I don't have to eat all of the cookies after I
read the fortune.
Which is sad news for my mouth, but that's good news
for my belly.
Do you believe in the superstition that
you have to eat them?
Isn't that a thing?
Like if you don't eat it, it doesn't come true?
What superstitions do you believe in?
I wanna know.
Um, I believe in all of them.
All of them.
Even the ones that I don't know exist,
I'm afraid of them.
My fear of superstitions is so extreme, that like if I
witness someone doing something unlucky, like
keeping their umbrella open indoors, then I'm like, I'm
pretty sure I'm gonna break my legs any minute.
This is true.
Once, I had to call the waiter back in a busy restaurant to
come back to throw salt over his shoulder because he
spilled it.
I had to save him.
And me.
I had to save both of us.
I'd do it for him.
We opened this one fortune because the cookie was broken
before the show, and it says: "Today, opportunities will
present if you're keen enough to see them."
So that's the theme of this show.
What am I missing?
What am I not seeing, you guys?
What is not--
slinky.
You're still here.
We have a comment.
Something's--
OK, what's the comment?
Pawneegoddess.
"How to deal with hangover?
It's 10:00 PM, my head still hurts." Well, if it's 10:00
PM, good news.
You get to go to bed.
That's the best.
That's the best because you made it through the day.
So that's the-- main ticket is like, if it's 10:00 AM, and
your head hurts, I recommend kombucha, not like it does
anything, but it makes you feel like it will.
And um, just drink a lot of water and then
feel bad for yourself.
Um, and then watch a movie, for sure.
Like a good old movie from the '90s or '80s that
makes you feel good.
But you can just go to bed, pawnee.
That's great.
Let's look at this broken fortune cookie.
I know you guys all wanna know what it says.
It says, "Learn Chinese." No, it says, "Vision is not seeing
things as they are, but as they will be." Something--
there is something I am not seeing in here.
This is not planted.
What--
let's see.
Nate's here.
He looks the same.
He got a hair cut.
You guys think he looks-- he looks nice.
We have a comment from YouTube.
Is it Nate?
OK.
Angelfeelsbored.
"Did he move to his new apartment?"
And then this face.
He did.
He did.
We were just talking about how he doesn't know how he's gonna
get his bed back from IKEA.
Anyone who has a van in the New York City, Brooklyn area
that's willing to give Nate a ride to and fro IKEA this
weekend, it'd be much appreciated by both of us.
Um, that is the sponsor--
the main thing we wanna get out of this show is that Nate
needs a van.
Needs a ride from IKEA for his bed.
Another comment from YouTube is from grad1991ify.
"Is that a real fish in the back?" What am I not seeing?
This one?
Is this real?
Is this what I'm not--
and we haven't been giving him water this whole time?
Guys, I feel so bad.
We have--
we have this goldfish here.
And did you guys know, did you know it's a real fish.
And we have had-- we've had crystals.
We've just had crystals in here.
we started the show.
And now he's--
now he's plastic.
And now I'm covered in glitter.
And so is my computer and this table.
Kitty Pryde lives on in our show.
Let's move my computer and the glitter.
That's fun, but this is going to be on my face all day.
You know how that happens when you get glitter?
And then, it just stays there forever.
That's what's going to happen.
Let's read another fortune cookie.
Um, I like to eat my fortune cookies in milk, like cereal.
Guess what.
OK, this one is "Wealth is not a matter of intelligence, it's
a matter of inspiration." Well, Nate, if you keep that
in mind, that-- then you can just buy a bus.
It's just-- you just need to be inspired enough to just get
that transportation.
Um, how does that one work with--
OK, "Wealth is not a matter of intelligence, it's a matter of
inspiration." In bed.
That affects who you sleep with, I'll tell you that much.
Next comment from YouTube is from Reinaldo Campbell. "Shout
out to Venezuela, please." Venezuela!
Yo, party.
I don't know.
I'm picturing like clubs, is that right?
Yeah.
Dubstep.
Venezuela.
It's my--
I'm right on with this.
OK.
Gonna keep reading these.
You guys, it's fashion week here in New York City.
I have to read this.
This is bad luck.
Even though it is to Defy Superstition Day, but hold on.
"Travelling this year will bring your life into greater
perspective." OK.
See-- all right, so it's fashion week
here in New York City.
I think it's time we take a pause to see a super
fashionable lady.
Here's an inside look at Save the Supers' Elementra.

-So tell us a little bit about Elementra.
-I mean, what could you possibly want to know that's
not already on Wikipedia?

-(SIGH) Fine.
I'm 483 years old, and my mom's immortal, so I'm pretty
sure I am, too.
Her real name can't be heard by humans because the sound of
it will turn your insides into that red gooey stuff they use
for chicken McNuggets.
I'm hungry.
Anyways, she was once known as Athena, which is probably her
most famous incarnation.
And I spawned from her head as an elemental goddess
controlling the powers of the wind.
No, I can't fly.
But I can hover over the ground a few feet, and I can
fall really slowly, so.
Plus, I can breathe the breath of truth.
So I can just breathe into a human, and then they have to
tell the truth for one breath.
It's pretty self-explanatory.
Oh, I've been married 16 times.
But only four of them meant anything.
Would I hook up with World Man?
No.
Well, maybe.
I don't know.
If I was drunk, probably.
I don't know.

BETH HOYT: "We all have a lot more in common than
it seems." In bed.
It's good to know because sometimes, you know, you're
like, is it just me?
But it's good to know that we all--
we all do that.
You know what I mean.
Next comment is from OmNomNomDuck.
"Glitter sucks when it's everywhere." Yeah, we are
dealing with that situation.
Do you want to show them on the table?
And now, this is gonna be-- maybe you can't see.
Anyway, it's gonna be here forever.
And uh, it's gonna be on my face.
Nate was just saying I need to shed--
I need to shed this skin because it's never gonna go
away, and it's true.
So, this'll be here.
All right, next comment from YouTube is marianocas8.
"You're beautiful!" You're beautiful.
Thank you.
I know how to--
I know how to take compliments.
Thank you, is what you say.
Um, here's one. "We all live under the same sky, but don't
see the same light." In bed.
Also with the seeing.
Is it because my eyes are better?
I'm looking into this--
I'm looking into this too deeply, is what's happening.
Do you do that, too, when you open your fortune cookies, and
you're like, what does this mean for me?
And then you're like, I just-- it's just because they threw
that cookie in the bag.
That's the one I got.
You know?
It's not fun to think of it that way, though.
It means something.
Next comment is from angelfeelsbored. "Beth, what
are your thoughts on fashion week?" Good thing you asked,
because-- well I just-- my blog for next week is gonna be
about fashion week.
I have a surprise guest.
Her name is Haley Carley and she's gonna tell you all about
what to wear this fall.
But OK, but for fashion week, this is what
I think is so confusing.
One, that it's about spring.
So, I just don't--
I never understood.
I know that's the thing and that's
because we need to prepare.
I don't like that, though.
I haven't even thought about fall clothes yet.
Um, I have heard that mustards are in, so um, the yellows--
we're staying with the yellows this season, but we're really
going more towards the mustard for fall.
Also, uh, latex is gonna be in, but that's in the spring.
Uh, fashion week, I also think you walk around and--
and there's just a lot of faces that you're like--
the pretty ugly thing, that happens.
You're like, you're so thin, but you're
pretty, but you're not.
That's happening with a lot of people downtown.
Next comment is from narutophantom0.

"Cracked phone?" Yup.
It's-- oh, can you not tell?
Well, whatever.
It's cracked and then I have tape.
Guys, my--
I'll turn it off and hold it up.
Now.
Can you see?
There we go.
It's a-- it's a fail.
I still have this, though.
It's like an antique right now, this phone is.
Especially now that everyone's gonna have an iPhone 5.
It's gonna--
my phone is just gonna be like, you should
sell that on eBay.
That thing is-- we remember that.
Uh, gotta happen, but my contract's up in November, so
I'm waiting.
It's gonna--
I'm gonna wait.
And let's do one more and then that's--
this is the one to end the day on.
This is for all of you.
This is your fortune for the day.
Oh, oh, will you look.
Let's look at a comment first.
From Erwan Lent.
"Beth, how do you stay so awesome?" Gosh.
I wash my face twice a day with cleanser, but you can't
use that during the day.
You have to wash your face with soap and
water during the day.
You only use cleanser in the morning and at night.
And other than that, just uh-- you know, I keep the carbs--
I keep the carbs in the morning.
And I do a lot of dancing, just like Ellen Degeneres.
Here, this is for all of us, you guys.
"To see an old friend is as agreeable as a
good meal." In bed.
That got kind of blue, you guys.
OK, that's our show.
Thank you for joining.
Order your Chinese food right now until you
subscribe to our show.
Hit your fortunes on and walk under ladders today, you guys.
No, don't do that.
That's very extreme.
Don't do that.
I don't want you to get hurt because you're my favorite.
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