Lammbock German Stoner Comedy 1/9 English Subtitles


Uploaded by pussycruncher69 on 27.01.2010

Transcript:
Translated by René Minarski
Erika Eleniak was somewhat of a pioneer regarding breast implants, you know?
She got them during the mid-80's
already at that time implants were still bullshit
But Pamela Anderson was smarter, she waited until the mid-90's
Sort of after the "Silicon Revolution"
And she got some real first-rate gourmet hooters. The best there were from the best doctor
The guy was sort of the Mohammed Ali of plastic surgery.
That guy was married to that one actress, the blonde one... what was her name?
Kim Basinger!
They are divorced now, but never mind
Anyway,
you get my point?
Erika had no problem until the third season
when the directors decided to send the crew travelling
They had Baywatch in Mexico and in Japan and so on
And there the doctors became suspicious
They just knew that the bullshit silicon in Erikas tits
was not designed to sustain pressure fluctuations
Domestic flights were ok
but long distance flights, above 10,000 meters. The risk was just too high.
So they preferred Pamela Andersons superior implants
That means the only reason why Erika Eleniak got fired was
cause her tits exploded too easily.
- Got it - Seriously
And that's that
So don't tell me about good acting or style or something
or not?
Right?
mhmm
what "mhmm"?
You gotta have an opinion about that
Nope, I really don't Come on, don't be so boring now
Sorry, I just decided not to talk about such things any more
about what?
About things like which Baywatch babe has more style
It simply has no substance
"No substance?!?"
Yeah!
Aha!
You're just trying to talk about something cool, and don't care for the meaning.
I know you made the story up.
Thought it's pretty clever, so you want to tell it.
And you tell me just like that!
And that's alright...
...but we don't need to talk about that for hours.
Ok, sorry, ok.
So what do you want to talk about?
- Don't know! - Oh you don't know?!?
You know what you don't want to talk about
...but you don't know what you want to talk about...
...What do you want to talk about? Tell me
...well...about something important...
...problems of real life.
..."problems of real life"?
- Yes - Dude
What?
Nothing
Yes
Well, it's alright.
When did you think about that?
Just before
Aha! Just before, while I was rolling a joint...
...you thought: OK from now on I talk about real life problems...
Yep
...completely spontaneous...
Dude, you're a freak sometimes.
Cool!!!
Hey
Hello
Gina, we have to talk.
What is it?
I think we have to break up
I think I can't remain faithful while you're away.
I could tell you some fake reasons..
...but you deserve honesty...
...It's your hygiene.
Excuse me?
You don't take care of yourself anymore.
You sweat like a pig.
Do you still shower at all?
Certain body parts are simply disgusting!
Call me hypersensitive
But I just can't stand it anymore.
It's nice what stories you can come up with.
As a matter of fact I am sitting here doing something...
...clean up..., all you do is get stoned.
For a while it was funny, but...
...I don't want that circus anymore.
And actually I never planned to ever come back from America
I met somebody there...
...Josef...
...he's a broker...
...hard working, pays attention, charming...
...black too!
and for the Future:
Women can have vaginal orgasms!
Josef? Black?
That was a top-notch story.
The beginning was really good
It was much better than your cheap story
But then "vaginal orgasms"? Come on
You just can't stand losing
Take your shirt off oh no
oh yes
But not a big one, ok?
A normal one, that's the deal.
Come on!
Give it to me!
Give it to me!!!
Hey, this is no campsite!
Shut up! Fucking cunt!
Can this guy say one normal sentence?
Frank! Countenance
Hey, Kai What the hell?
Why do you let these potheads hang out here?
No!!
When we come back you're gone, alright?
Oh shit!!!
Fuck!!!
We don't leave for too long, ok?
OK I have to study
"I have to study"
Hey, I got an exam in 2 months.
Oh and I keep you from learning?
I could use a little support.... I told you...
...a little support.
...I told you I can do this alone.
And besides I support you as much as I can.
Oh is that so? And how?
I....I.... when you're done studying...
I'll pick you up
And serve you a gourmet pizza, as a sign of my respect.
- How thoughtful. - That's how much you mean to me.
You care so much.
I do indeed.