DAILYGRACE & JASON HORTON LIVE - 7/19/12 (Full Ep)


Uploaded by MyDamnChannel on 19.07.2012

Transcript:

DAILY GRACE: Your fly is way down.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
DAILY GRACE: Hello, internet gremlins.
Daily Grace here from My Damn Channel LIVE.
Did you guys see yesterday's show?
You didn't?
Why?
What were you doing?
Gross.
Here's a clip.
BETH HOYT: Hold on.
First, let's try this one.
Open your mouth.
MALE SPEAKER:: OK.
BETH HOYT: Oh, yes!
MALE SPEAKER:: My god, we actually got it.
BETH HOYT: That was real exciting.
MALE SPEAKER:: Hey.

DAILY GRACE: Oh my god.
Is some countries, they're married now.
Sorry, Miss [INAUDIBLE].
Whoops.
Hey, guys.
Let's get into this beautiful mess of a show and start with
MFCFLTS, My Favorite Comment from last Thursday's Show.
It comes from caliballa009, "Do your Kristen Stewart
impersonation.
Go!"
OK, I have been working on a Kristen Stewart impersonation
for upwards of 13 years now.
Before she was famous, just when she lived in Wyoming in
that house on Central Street.
There may be a restraining order out for me against her.
Against me.
But let's just get with the impersonation.
Here we go.
Ready?

Ah.
Ah.
Ahh.
End scene.
Oh my gosh.
Whoa.
I'm a millionaire actress.
You could feel it was right here in the studio with you.
Speaking of millionaire actress, I have a very special
guest on today's show.
He is a writer.
He's a comedian.
He's a YouTuber.
And he is the co-creator and co-host of
Two White Guys podcast.
Please welcome Jason Horton.

JASON HORTON: I'm also an artist.
DAILY GRACE: Oh my gosh.
It's a picture of me with vampire
teeth saying, I'm dumb.
Even the artistic rendering is as self-deprecating as the
real-life rendering is.
Thank you.
JASON HORTON: You're welcome.
DAILY GRACE: Thank you for being here, Jason.
JASON HORTON: Oh, are you--
DAILY GRACE: We'll shake like professionals.
JASON HORTON: Are selling me insurance?
DAILY GRACE: Yeah, exactly.
JASON HORTON: Awesome.
DAILY GRACE: I have a great deal.
JASON HORTON: Thank you for having me.
DAILY GRACE: Thank you for being here.
Do you know that there's another
Jason Horton out there?
JASON HORTON: Yes, I am aware because I Google
myself all the time.
DAILY GRACE: Who doesn't?
JASON HORTON: And there apparently is a blacker, more
football-ish version of me,
professional football's version--
DAILY GRACE: No one can be blacker than this guy.
JASON HORTON: He's close.
He's 3% blacker and like 5% more football-ish than me.
DAILY GRACE: Yeah.
Because I Googled you this morning.
Because I knew certain things about Jason,
like he likes plaid.
He has impaired vision.
But I didn't know a whole lot about him.
And I found out that Jason Horton is a quarterback who's
currently a free agent.
He was signed by the Toronto Argonauts as a free,
undrafted--
what?
As an undrafted, free agent in 2003.
JASON HORTON: I run all the downs.
I touchdown all the yardage.
DAILY GRACE: Sports.
JASON HORTON: And sports.
Also sports.
DAILY GRACE: All the sports.
Now, my question for you is, do you want us to murder this
man for you?
JASON HORTON: No.
You know what?
I like the competitiveness.
I enjoy it.
I thrive on it.
DAILY GRACE: Do you thrive on your identity being stolen?
JASON HORTON: No.
DAILY GRACE: It's shared.
It's shared.
JASON HORTON: I don't have any money or assets.
I have bad credit.
What if there was more than one of you?
DAILY GRACE: I've Googled it.
I've tried to find it.
Have you guys found it?
Because I would murder that girl.
I wouldn't--
I'd kill her with kindness.
JASON HORTON: But you can make her do all the things, like
chores and stuff, you don't want to do.
Like I don't want to do dishes, so you're going to
make the other you--
DAILY GRACE: I don't know if that's how that works though.
JASON HORTON: Oh.
Oh.
Maybe you get in a car accident with her and--
DAILY GRACE: Have you been doing the other
Jason Horton's dishes?
JASON HORTON: How do you know which Jason Horton this is?
DAILY GRACE: Oh my God.
JASON HORTON: Hollywood makeup.
DAILY GRACE: Oh my god.
OK.
Now, Jason, you got to interview me on your podcast.
Now I'm going to take this opportunity to interview you
on my show.
JASON HORTON: OK.
DAILY GRACE: So question one.
What is your favorite YouTube video that I have done?
JASON HORTON: I get asked this a lot.
And my favorite one is by Magic Hugs, "How to be Tight."
DAILY GRACE: Oh, you didn't hear the second
part of that question.
JASON HORTON: I've just-- yeah, OK.
DAILY GRACE: What's your favorite YouTube video that
Grace Helbig has made?
JASON HORTON: Oh, it's that one where it's like-- oh, oh,
my favorite one is the one where you're like--
hey, I'm Grace.
Duh.
I eat sandwiches all day and night.
That's my favorite one that you do.
DAILY GRACE: Thank you.
That one almost went viral.
Real, real close.
JASON HORTON: Yeah, 873 views.
DAILY GRACE: Yeah.
People can not understand what I was saying because I had too
many sandwiches in my mouth.
OK, question number two.
How did you get started watching my videos?
JASON HORTON: I got started in this wonderful world of
youtube.com/internetcomedy.
I was doing stuff with UCB, Upright Citizens Brigade, in
Los Angeles, and out here in New York for a little bit.
And then I was an actor/comedian, and then
Totally Sketch--
Michael Gallagher.
DAILY GRACE: Heard of him.
Hair for days.
Cheeks for weeks.
JASON HORTON: Which cheeks?
DAILY GRACE: I don't know, you tell me.
JASON HORTON: And so yeah, he was-- through Bree Essrig, who
joined my improv group that I started in San Diego
[INAUDIBLE] to LA.
We met.
I just showed up at his place and we started doing videos.
And ever since I've just been doing videos and collabs and
all that kind of stuff.
DAILY GRACE: It's the best way to get yourself involved.
Just show up at someone's place and
start making a video.
JASON HORTON: And work for free.
DAILY GRACE: Yeah, that's true.
JASON HORTON: And they make money off of your hard work.
DAILY GRACE: Oh my god.
Last question.
What do you see yourself doing in five years?
Egg on my face, I read that wrong.
What do you see me doing in five years?
JASON HORTON: OK, what do I see me doing in five years?
Turning 23 for starters.
DAILY GRACE: Wait.
Oh, yeah.
JASON HORTON: Yeah.
Figure it out.
Do the math.
I wrote two films.
I love writing films.
And I've had a lot of success with them.
They're being optioned.
They're developed.
DAILY GRACE: Whoa, buzzword.
JASON HORTON: But I hope to--
I love the traditional media.
But I also hope to never-- well, internet's
going to take over.
But I never would want to leave that because I don't
want to have some casting director say, oh, you're
allowed to act now.
Like you're allowed to create now.
So I love the world of YouTube and--
DAILY GRACE: Creative freedom.
JASON HORTON: Yeah.
DAILY GRACE: Creative freedom.
Speaking of--
JASON HORTON: Attica.
DAILY GRACE: --freedom, here's a dinosaur.

Twitter and Tumblr Q&A. We asked you guys for questions
via Twitter with the
#mydamnchannellive.
So let's answer some of those questions.
You're sick of me asking you.
Let's let them ask us.
Let's take a Twitter question first.
What do we have?
This comes from myselfToni.
"Do you believe in unicorns and jelly beans?"
Whoa, we try not to get religious on this show.
JASON HORTON: Yeah, but, um-- it's a hot button.
It's a hot button.
Uh, I believe jelly beans are like eggs that come out of a
big jelly bean.
So those are their babies.
So when you're eating jelly beans, you're eating some
jelly bean mom's babies.
DAILY GRACE: Jason is pro-choice if
you didn't know that.
Let's take another Twitter question, shall we?
This comes from rawins418.
"How many times should failing a driver's test be enough to
know you shouldn't drive?
My GPA is up to 8."
JASON HORTON: It's Grandpa.
DAILY GRACE: Oh.
My grandpa--
JASON HORTON: You should never be driving or anything if you
can't read.
DAILY GRACE: I was like why is he telling me about his GPA.
JASON HORTON: You don't understand internet speak.
DAILY GRACE: G-pa?
Is that like K-pop?
JASON HORTON: It took me--
it took me five times to pass.
And I took it---
DAILY GRACE: What?
JASON HORTON: Well, I took it in New York and
the winters are rough.
And I always took it in the winter with
a big station wagon.
With a big station, so it was really, really hard.
But then I took it in a Geo Metro and passed on time
number five.
DAILY GRACE: Whoa.
I passed on my first time because my driving instructor
parallel parked the car for me.
Yay.
Still to this day--
JASON HORTON: How you going to learn anything?
DAILY GRACE: Exactly.
I don't know.
Trial and error.
I hit someone's car in LA.
I gave them my phone number, they never called me.
So all you can do is be a good person in my philosophy.
JASON HORTON: That's not your philosophy.
DAILY GRACE: It's not.
Let's take another Twitter question.
Shall we?
Who is this from?
This is from jellymustache.
"How do you write an erotic novel?"
JASON HORTON: Like this.
This is how you write it.
She walked in.
She was wearing electrical blue.
God it was electrifying.
She walked into the three--
the pointy triangle table, hit a bell, and then she was like,
I want all sandwiches.
DAILY GRACE: I want all the sandwiches.
JASON HORTON: And then I cried.
That's how you do it.
DAILY GRACE: Whoa.
Whoa, 50 Shades of Grace right there.
JASON HORTON: That was like 23 shades.
I have another like 27 to go.
I don't know.
DAILY GRACE: Oh my god.
Oh my god.
Wow.
Well, let's take another comment so we can all cool
down from that one.
Maybe someone should option that from him.
This is from YouTube, from samsroomwithaview.
"Grace, if you could have a pet unicorn, what would you
call it?" This show is so religious right now that it's
out of control.
JASON HORTON: Uh, preachy.
DAILY GRACE: If I could have a pet unicorn, what
would I call it?
JASON HORTON: Jason Horton?
DAILY GRACE: Jason Hornton.
JASON HORTON: Jason Hornton.
Yes.
DAILY GRACE: Oh my gosh, I would not call it that.
I'd call it Shakira.
Let's take--
JASON HORTON: The singer?
DAILY GRACE: Let's take another question.
JASON HORTON: You forgot she was a singer.
DAILY GRACE: No, her hips don't lie and neither do I. I
remembered.
Nike-esta Walters.
JASON HORTON: Nikeema.
DAILY GRACE: Exactly. "What would you do if you had to
stay underwater for the rest of your life?"
I would probably die at some point.
JASON HORTON: No, you know what I would do?
Is I would look at all the girls in their bikinis.
DAILY GRACE: You'd just do some serious upskirting?
JASON HORTON: Well, it's not wearing skirts.
But I would just look at all the bikini girls.
DAILY GRACE: Sometimes they make the bikinis with little
skirts on them.
You'd look at all the bikini girls?
JASON HORTON: Yeah.
DAILY GRACE: That sounds like a really fun-- that sounds
like a Beach Boys song, right?
JASON HORTON: Yeah.
Look at all the bikini girls.
DAILY GRACE: Bikini girls.
Bikini girls.
Option it from us.
Let's take another Twitter question.
This is from HayleyHoran1018.
"Tell us a story about a pony and a butterfly right now."
Well, I'll leave the master storyteller to you--
JASON HORTON: There was a pony.
He walked into a nightclub and he was just like, I'm only
here for one drink.
Maybe get my groove on.
Dance for a little bit.
And then he's like, then I'm out.
You know what I mean?
Because I don't need this.
And then, well, he saw her across the room.
It was a butterfly.
She was just barely 18, so she just got her like-- it was
legal for her to go in, so she went in.
And then, um--
they started dancing on the dance floor hard, like Dirty
Dancing style, but dirtier.
Then they started making out, which was weird.
Because butterfly's mouth is only this big.
And the pony's mouth is really, really big.
And then they got married and had babies.

DAILY GRACE: Wow.
Hoo.
JASON HORTON: Another--
DAILY GRACE: Another tale of erotic fiction.
My god.
Holy moly.
Option it from him.
Look at this by the way.
JASON HORTON: You don't know if it's a guy or girl.
DAILY GRACE: I don't--
you tell me.
What is this?
JASON HORTON: That's racism.
DAILY GRACE: No it's not.
It's genderism.
It's a lot of -isms going on.
And guess what, guys?
Oh, no.
Now it's time for endism.
The show is over today.
Thank you, Jason, for being here with me.
I really appreciate it.
JASON HORTON: Thank you for having me.
DAILY GRACE: Where can people find you on the internet?
JASON HORTON: You can find me at youtube.com/jasonhorton and
Twitter @jason_horton.
And check out the Two White Guys podcast on
YouTube on my channel.
DAILY GRACE: There you go.
Great.
And you can find me every other day of the week at
mydamnchannel.com/dailygrace.
I will see you guys next Thursday.
Tell Beth I said, hey.
Bye.
[DING]
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