Reggie Watts - 4/11/12 (FULL EP)

BETH HOYT: Hi, I'm Beth Hoyt and you're watching My Damn
Channel Live.
Hope you have fun today.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Hey guys.
It's Wednesday on My Damn Channel Live.
And that means it's time for the big show.
Oh boy, we have a lot in store for you today.
And a lot of that comes in the form of a large creative
genius named Reggie Watts.
We're going to have a special sit down Q and A with Reggie
later in the show.
And you still have time to send in a
question for him to answer.
Just tweet me @thebethhoyt.
But do it right now because Reggie will be in the studio
in a matter of minutes.
How are you today?
I didn't ask.
That was rude.
Are you having a hump day?
No.
No.
I had a terrific morning.
Some woman--
a tourist, maybe, in hindsight--
she thinks I'm a big fan of her work.
She is not Laura Linney.
OK.
I want to start out the show today with some impressions.
These are new.
I'm just working them out so I hope you enjoy them.
They take place in the New York City subway, which you
may or may not know is a crazy place.
So the first one, this is an impression of you.
By that I mean, like, the collective we.
This is how we look when we're on the D-train.
Uhm, setting the scene-- it's crowded.
You're hungry.
And someone on your train starts tapping their foot and
singing out loud.
OK, this is you.

OK.
And then this is what you do when that person taps their
foot, sings out loud, and they're a little kid, OK?

OK.
And finally, uhm, this is what you do when they're an urban
teenager and they're dressed really well.
They're really cool looking and they're tapping their foot
and they're singing out loud.
This is what you do in the subway.

Because they might be the next big thing.
You never know.
That's enough of that.
Reggie Watts is here.
I'm wearing fancy pants.
And of course, we've got all these brand new My Damn
Channel comedy series.
Uh, so we're all watching these right now
for the first time.
Together, we're going to watch these for the first time.
Here she is, the latest Workless
created by Brit McAdams.
It's called, This is Nothing.
I bet it'll be something.
MALE SPEAKER: Workless.
-Good morning.
Hi, running so late today.
-Oh, hey Jen.
-It looks so good in here.
Can I help you do anything?
What?
-Uhm, you have something--
-Something?
-On your lip.
-Oh, oh this?
It's nothing.
I don't have anything.
I just get them when I'm stressed out.
Is it-- is it really that noticeable?
-Well, no.
It just, uh--
-I'm going to put a little bit of powder on it.

Better?
I stopped and got the brand new pumpkin spice latte.
It's so good.
Have you had it?
Try it.
-No.
-Yeah, no.
No try it.
-No, I'm fine.
-Come on.
Try it.
-No, Jesus.
Back it up.
God.
-Look at all the snacks you brought.
Wow.
-Ryan's paper weight has been glued to his desk.
-Oh, you have the best gags.
Chips and dip?
-Who made this?
-I did.
-It's so good.
-You're a double dipper too, huh?
Your secret's safe with me.
I am too.

-I need a drink.
-Oh no, that's Jen's.
-Oh, it's good, right?
-I'm going to puke.
-Here's the birthday cake, huh?
-Ssh.
It's a surprise.
Don't forget.
Oh, that is good.
Have some.
Have some.
It's delicious.
-Hey everybody, I brought Sampson.
Sampson?
Sampson?
[CRYING]
-I think I want a [INAUDIBLE].
You're such a good kid.
-Get the kid.
Get the kid.
-He's just a kid.
He can't see that.

-Surprise.
-What?
-Oh, no.
Oh, God.
-No, somebody.
-Who's the CPR administrator in the office?
-Oh, it's me.
It's me.
-No, no, no, no.
-God, no.
Just let me die.
-No, no.
-Take your hands away from him.
-What?
This?
This is nothing.
-Mommy, [INAUDIBLE].

[MUSIC PLAYING]
BETH HOYT: Oh, that is disgusting.
I am so lucky I don't get those on my mouth.
Guys, we are so thrilled to have an incredibly funny and
talented performer with us today.
You may recognize him from Conan.
He's going to be the musical side kick on IFC's new show,
Call Me Bang Bang.
And he's also a good friend of mine.
Ladies and gentlemen, Reggie Watts.
REGGIE WATTS: Hey.
BETH HOYT: Hi, Reggie.
Thank you so much for being here.
REGGIE WATTS: [INAUDIBLE].
BETH HOYT: Yes.
I have wanted to just jump right into some questions.
First, I'd like to ask you a question, uhm, starting with
your early years.
I'm wondering what event from your childhood most shaped who
you are today as an artist?
REGGIE WATTS: Well, uhm, when I was child I
fought for many wars.
And, uhm--
BETH HOYT: In the war?
REGGIE WATTS: You see, I fought in many wars and they
are very small wars.
And I thought, why can't I-- how can this erase me instead
of or the distractions.
I kill lots of cats.
BETH HOYT: Sure.
REGGIE WATTS: So a lot from there happens to help now.
BETH HOYT: I'm sure many-- many kids today can relate to
that story.
REGGIE WATTS: Yes.
I think so.
Somehow, yes.
BETH HOYT: Someohow, yeah.
Uh, my second question is how do you personally battle your
inner demons?
REGGIE WATTS: Well, I use a plus four sword of--
BETH HOYT: A plus four sword?
REGGIE WATTS: Plus four sword of interminable darkness,
which, uhm, has--
BETH HOYT: Do you get that--do you get that online?
I'm just wondering.
REGGIE WATTS: No, you have to roll for it and get the right
amount of experience points.
But once you're eligible for the
upgrade, you have an upgrade.
You can take your sword that you have now and you can have
it transformed into the plus four.
Or you can simply look for an original sword but they're
much more expensive so I suggest the augmentation.
BETH HOYT: OK.
Yeah, if you don't get the upgrade--
REGGIE WATTS: No.
That mean you shouldn't get the upgrade.
BETH HOYT: That's-- that's, uh-- that's something everyone
can strive for.
That's very positive.
OK, last question is from Twitter.
REGGIE WATTS: Oh.
BETH HOYT: Uh, we have--
philburmac wants to know do you have a secret talent?
I mean it's hard to believe because we know
a lot of your talents.
Is there another one that we don't know about?
REGGIE WATTS: Well, uhm, [INAUDIBLE].
Uhm, there are a lot of talents and one of the talents
that I like to do is I like to try to make pencils.
BETH HOYT: Oh, no.
I'm sorry.
It's not just if you like to do it.
It's, you know, it's if it's a talent, if you're good at it.
So just that constrains--
REGGIE WATTS: Oh, you don't want me to reveal it?
OK.
BETH HOYT: No, no.
I do.
I do.
I just want it to be one that you're good at.
REGGIE WATTS: Oh, OK.
Oh, great.
OK.
Well, uh--
BETH HOYT: But that no one knows about because we know
about a lot of them.
REGGIE WATTS: But you want me to reveal it?
BETH HOYT: Please.
REGGIE WATTS: OK.
Well, I'm good at moving things.
I can, uh, I can locate an object.
I can push it.
BETH HOYT: Yeah.
REGGIE WATTS: I can move it.
I can ask someone to move it.
BETH HOYT: Sure.
REGGIE WATTS: And then I've seen that on this show.
Uhm, I can do that too.
I can do it fairly well.
BETH HOYT: Yeah.
Well, you know, there's a lot of things we know you do well.
So there's no--
if it's fairly well, we'll take that.
You know, it's a secret.
We didn't know that about you.
So that's--
that's good to know now.
This--
just that-- you know what, you don't want to impress us too
much or we get-- we get lost.
REGGIE WATTS: [MAKES NOISES].

BETH HOYT: Reggie's been such a pleasure.
Uhm, do you think you can stick around,
maybe play us a tune?
REGGIE WATTS: Absolutely.
I love to.
BETH HOYT: OK, great.
Uh, we'll be back with Reggie soon.
But for now, enjoy the premiere of the latest from My
Damn Channel original series, Co-op of The Damned.
The episode was directed by Jesse Bradford
from Bring it On.
You guys, let's take a look at Brains.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
-I know that it hasn't been fair stringing you guys along
like this but I just--
I honestly--
I don't know what to do.
You're both, like, so great.
-You got to be fucking kidding me.
-Brains.
-Lucy, I've known you for years.
OK?
I mean, I think you're beautiful and sexy.
I mean, you got that great hair and that wonderful smile.
I--
-Brains.
-See, I mean, Bill cares about what's inside too, you know?
He's--
-A zombie.

-Brains.
-Don't be cruel, Jamie.
-How is that cruel.
I mean, he's literally a, uh, a reanimated corpse that
feasts on human flesh.
His bite has a virus in it and it attacks its victims and
makes them zombies too.
We all know this.
He can't even speak, Lucy.
-Passive aggressive.
-What?
What did he say to me?
-[INAUDIBLE] physical confrontation.
-Bill, has a point here, Jamie.
I mean, you could use, like, a bit more manliness.
-I thought you liked that sensitive crap.
-Oh, it's sincere.
-At least I'm not going to eat you.
-I totally will.
Know what you want--
-That's not what I-
-As much as you want.
-Really?
-That's not what I meant.
-Lucy, I have been there for you.
-Brains.
-Lucy, any time you--
-Brains.

-Lucy, he's gross.
Look at his face.

What about all the times that I've been there for you?
I have.
Is that a limb?
-I killed that douche at work you hate.
-He did.
-Lucy, I can promise you that I can give you
everything you need.
OK?
Everything.
I mean, he's a--
he's a zombie.
I mean, I don't know if I can get any clearer than that.
That's just how things are Lucy.
There's no--
-(SINGING) Brains.
Brains, brains.

Brains, brains.
-I'm--I'm sorry Jamie.
I hope we can still be friends.
-Yeah, you know what?
You guys go fuck yourselves.

[MUSIC PLAYING]
(SINGING): It's the Jon Friedman internet program on
your worldwide web.

-Uh, 1980?
-Yeah, 1980.
-Oh, there it is.
-Sorry I'm late.
Let me explain.
(SINGING): It's the Jon Friedman internet program on
your worldwide web.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
MATT MCMANUS: This is something we call sneaky tuna
where we sneak up on some guys and open a can of tuna.
-(SINGING): McMan, McMan, you didn't know?
Naw, he ain't playing.

FEMALE SPEAKER: What is that?
MATT MCMANUS: Tuna.
FEMALE SPEAKER: Smells gross.
MATT MCMANUS: Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

FEMALE SPEAKER: Oh, my God.

This is the most violating tuna experience of my life.
FEMALE SPEAKER: Do you know you're so ugly?
He is so ugly.
FEMALE SPEAKER: This is like hell.

This is insanity, utter insanity.
FEMALE SPEAKER: Oh, smell so bad.

Oh.

-(SINGING): McMan.

BETH HOYT: Aw, that is just-- that's so gross.
What is canned tuna without capers?
Guys we are so thrilled to have an incredibly funny and
talented performer with us today.
You may recognize him from Conan.
He's going to be the musical side kick on IFC's new show
Call Me Bang Bang.
He's also a good friend of mine.
Ladies and gentlemen, Reggie Watts.
REGGIE WATTS: Thanks for having me.
BETH HOYT: You're welcome, Reggie.
Thank you for being here.
I want to just--
I want to jump right into the questions.
REGGIE WATTS: Yeah, sure.
BETH HOYT: I'd like to start with, uh,
with your early years.
I'm wondering if there is an event from your childhood that
really shaped who you are today as an artist.
REGGIE WATTS: Well when I was growing up, we used to go down
to Salmon Lake a lot in the summertime.
We would go there for different camping events.
And I remember going up, uhm, and I was staying in the cabin
and I'd stay by the bushes near the women's--
I guess--
crap hole.
BETH HOYT: You're hiding in the bushes?
REGGIE WATTS: No, just wee out in the bushes.
They were going to ask if it was going to be in the crap
hole and I wouldn't do that.
I'm not a fecephiliac.
BETH HOYT: Sure, no.
I would never ask.
REGGIE WATTS: But, uh-- so I'd hang out by the bushes and
scare girls as they'd go to the bathroom.
But it turns out bladder-- bladder rules over scared.
A lot of girls completed their mission
and went to the bathroom.
So it taught me a lot about perseverance and commitment.
BETH HOYT: Absolutely.
Great.
OK.
Now I'm wondering--
second question is just how do you battle, you know, your
personal demons?
REGGIE WATTS: Well, I mean, uh, you know, sometimes we
grow up, sometimes we don't.
Sometimes we learn lessons and we get them broken down in
unexpected ways.
BETH HOYT: Amen.
REGGIE WATTS: You know?
Uhm, like a--
like a fly swatter, you know?
Uhm--

BETH HOYT: Yeah.
REGGIE WATTS: You know a fly swatter, you know, like when
you have it?
BETH HOYT: OK, so--
REGGIE WATTS: Yeah, when you're like--
BETH HOYT: --this is the nugget.
REGGIE WATTS: Like when you're holding on to the fly swatter,
that feeling, you're like, I know I got this.
BETH HOYT: Yeah.
REGGIE WATTS: I got it.
You know?
BETH HOYT: Yeah.
I know that feeling.
We've all killed a fly and it felt really good.
REGGIE WATTS: No, I'm not killing the fly, just holding
the fly swatter.
Just like-- just knowing you got it.
BETH HOYT: Just the power.
REGGIE WATTS: Yeah.
BETH HOYT: That is-- that is a good lesson.
And the last question I want to ask you is from one of our
followers--
REGGIE WATTS: Oh, OK.
Let's take a listen.
BETH HOYT: --fan of yours.
REGGIE WATTS: Let's read a listen.
BETH HOYT: Let's read it.
It's from philburmac and he's wondering do you
have a secret talent?
REGGIE WATTS: I love it.
That's good.
That's good.
BETH HOYT: That makes you--that makes you laugh.
REGGIE WATTS: Yeah.
BETH HOYT: It's good to see you laugh.
REGGIE WATTS: Uh, he wants to--OK.
But he's like that really?
BETH HOYT: Phil really, honestly wants an answer.
REGGIE WATTS: OK, OK.
Yeah, I do.
I do have a hidden talent.
I build miniature hang gliders.
BETH HOYT: Oh, great.
REGGIE WATTS: And I put, uh, small--
BETH HOYT: For?
REGGIE WATTS: --animals.
BETH HOYT: Oh, OK.
REGGIE WATTS: For animals.
And animals request them online.
BETH HOYT: Oh, really?
REGGIE WATTS: Yeah, I have a bunch of--
BETH HOYT: So they do enjoy it?
I don't know if you're--if they just-- if you're just
strapping them on there and watching it for yourself?
REGGIE WATTS: No, they do.
They do enjoy it.
I have put a little questionnaire form in forests.
I go out in forests and I put them pretty low.
BETH HOYT: Sure.
REGGIE WATTS: You know, depending on if I want
something bigger, then I want to put it higher.
BETH HOYT: Yeah.
REGGIE WATTS: But most times it's lower because the smaller
one's a little smarter.
And, uh, you know, once in a while I get in the mail a
little tiny piece of paper with some paw prints on it.
And be like, OK.
Well, let's do this.
Let's make a hang glider.
So that's what I do.
And I do it well.
BETH HOYT: Yeah, apparently you do.
That's interesting.
And we didn't know that about you.
And that's really nice that you shared it with us.
REGGIE WATTS: Thank you.
BETH HOYT: And It's been such a pleasure to have you here.
I'm wondering if you maybe stick around, maybe sing a
tune for us later?
REGGIE WATTS: I'll do a yodel or two for you.
BETH HOYT: OK, thank you.
Uh, guys we'll be back with Reggie soon.
But for now, enjoy the latest edutainment video from our own
little wizard of the air brush.
It's Ronnie Cox with another episode
of You Rock at Photoshop.
RONNIE COX: My name is Ronnie Cox and you rock at Photoshop.
-(SINGING) You rock at Photoshop.
It's crazy, kooky, funny, fun you never can stop.
You rock at Photoshop.

RONNIE COX: You did a great job last time and I bet you're
going to be spectacular with this lesson.

I left a robot on the floor, which makes fuss daddy want to
punch the seat.
I need to remove it.
The first thing that we're going to do is, uh, you are
going to use the Clone Stamp tool.
Great thinking, pal.
But we're going to do it differently.
Use the Marquee tool to select the--
[RINGING]
ROBERT: Hello?
RONNIE COX: Hello?
ROBERT: Hello?
RONNIE COX: Hello?
ROBERT: Mr. Cox, my name is Robert Davis Rottweiler Munge.
RONNIE COX: Hi, Mr. Munge.
ROBERT: No, no.
Don't you try and--
with your niceties.
I know what you're capable of.
I know you sent your little goons after me today.
Let me tell you something, Mr. Cox, you're in very big
trouble you maniacal goblin.
You think you can get away with all of this?
Yeah, well, justice will prevail.
And I will see that you are taken down.
You're an animal.
You're an animal.
You're a ferret.
You're an animal ferret of diseased evil.
And let me tell you something, I've got a surprise for you.
I got a surprise for you and all your friends there at My
Damn Channel.
Beth Hoyt and David Blaine--
somebody, I've got a special, special announcement to make.
RONNIE COX: OK.
ROBERT: I've have reason to believe-- very good reason to
believe-- that my client, Mr. Donnie Hoyle,
is alive and well.
That's right.
You heard me.
You heard me Ronnie Cox, you jawa.
You're a jawa.
I need everyone--
before they-- before they-- they shut this off.
I need you to-- to-- send a message to the world that
you're ready for Donnie Hoyle to return.
Just tell everyone.
Tell everyone that Donnie Hoyle is coming.
Donnie Hoyle is coming.
But you--you must send the call out.
He must know that you want him to return.
Please--
[GLASS BREAKING]
RONNIE COX: Good job.
Now that the robot is gone, let's cover up our work with a
lens flare.
Select Filter, Render, Lens Flare.
Select a camera lens.
Click OK.
Perfect.
Our robot is gone and fuss daddy won't go ballistic.
-(SINGING): You rock at Photoshop.
It's crazy, kooky, funny, fun you never can stop.
You rock at Photoshop.

BETH HOYT: This is--
this is ridiculous.
The notion that Donnie Hoyle is still alive is ludicrous.
He was clearly killed in the last episode
of You Suck at Photoshop.
Can we--
can we show them?
Can we play that?
DONNIE HOYLE: What are-- what are you doing here?
MALE SPEAKER: I'm going to kill you, Donnie Hoyle.
I'm going to kill you.

Are you hugging me?

Are-- are those [INAUDIBLE] thumb drives?

You suck at fighting, pleasing a woman, and being a friend.
You're a douche.
DONNIE HOYLE: My name is Donnie.
[GUN SHOT]
You suck at Photoshop.
[GUN SHOT]
BETH HOYT: Donnie is dead.
Ronnie is the future.
And you listen-- you listen to me, Robert Davis Rottweiler
Munge Esquire, we are not breaking down.
We are not giving in.
You want a fight, you got one.
Guys we are so thrilled to have an incredibly funny and
talented performer with us here today.
You may recognize him from Conan.
He's going to be the musical side kick on IFC's new show
Connie Bang Bang.
He's also a good friend of mine.
Ladies and gentlemen, Reggie Watts.
Hey Reggie.
REGGIE WATTS: Hey.
BETH HOYT: Thanks for coming.
REGGIE WATTS: Hey, thanks for having me.
BETH HOYT: I want to just--
I want to ask a few questions.
REGGIE WATTS: Yeah, let's do it.
BETH HOYT: Uhm, I would like to start with, uhm, like with
the early years.
And I'm wondering if there's one event from your childhood
that's shaped, you know, who you are today as an artist.
REGGIE WATTS: Uhm, you know, I had a really good, intense
experience with a camp counselor--
at a YMCA counselor.
They used to pick me up to go to the YMCA.
And she was really hot.
And, uhm, she showed me a picture of a guy who got a
pebble stuck in his ear.
And, uhm, kind of skin grew over it.
And, uhm--
BETH HOYT: Oh no.
REGGIE WATTS: --and they had to like-- they had to go out
and like cut it out.
The guy--
I guess he was dumb.
But, uhm, I always remember that.
BETH HOYT: Dumb, that he couldn't?
REGGIE WATTS: No, he was dumb and deaf-- not deaf.
BETH HOYT: Stupid.
Oh.
Not deaf?
REGGIE WATTS: Not deaf, just kind of not so--
BETH HOYT: Just really stupid.
REGGIE WATTS: Yeah, he could have prevented that.
So I'm not making fun of someone who's down and out.
BETH HOYT: Right, no.
Just the stupid people.
REGGIE WATTS: But they cut it out.
But the most important thing is the smell of her hair.
BETH HOYT: Oh, sure.
REGGIE WATTS: Something like that.
BETH HOYT: What was the smell?
REGGIE WATTS: It was like a kind of chlorine mixed with
some attempted attempt at covering that up with some
shampoo that's supposed to give it a
chlorine smell but doesn't.
BETH HOYT: I see that resonated in your work.
My second question is, uhm, how do you personally, Reggie
Watts, battle your inner demons?
REGGIE WATTS: Uhm, I mean, that's really hard.
A lot of times I try to do it myself.
I think we all try to process stuff on our own, you know.
Uhm, you know, there's like, I don't want someone else--
BETH HOYT: A therapist.
REGGIE WATTS: --figuring it out.
Yeah, you want to be your own best therapist.
But, uh, often times I will play a game of
Frisbee, which is good.
Uhm, I will, uhm, toke on a little, uh, every color of the
rainbow except for not green.
BETH HOYT: Sure.
REGGIE WATTS: But the opposite of that.
And then, uhm, and sometimes I'll just, uh, I'll do a lot
of push ups.
BETH HOYT: Cool.
REGGIE WATTS: And push ups are like
core stabilizing exercises.
BETH HOYT: Absolutely.
REGGIE WATTS: And that-- and that sounds like I'm saying
that because that's what [INAUDIBLE].
BETH HOYT: Do you go to a certain number of push ups?
Do you set a goal and then do that?
Or do you just, uh--
REGGIE WATTS: I do 20.
BETH HOYT: --go until you're-- oh, you do 20.
REGGIE WATTS: I do 20.
I do 20 and I try to just really plank it out.
You know like really good stiff plank, you know?
And just go for it.
BETH HOYT: Do you ever hold the plank at
the end just to challenge?
REGGIE WATTS: Sometimes I do.
I go for total failure.
BETH HOYT: Gosh, I'm glad we got there.
REGGIE WATTS: Yes.
BETH HOYT: My third question is from a Twitter follower and
I really want to-- we want to see.
Someone wants to ask you a question.
philburmac wants to ask, do you have a secret talent?
REGGIE WATTS: Whoa.
BETH HOYT: More than you already revealed?
REGGIE WATTS: OK, a secret talent.
Uhm, I guess-- secret talent--
BETH HOYT: Is there any thing that, you know, you make-- do
you-- do you have a cocktail?
REGGIE WATTS: Uhm, not on me right now.
No, uhm, no, uh--
BETH HOYT: I hate when you make that joke.
REGGIE WATTS: Well, I think it's funny.
I don't drink.
BETH HOYT: It's not funny.
REGGIE WATTS: You know that.
That's why that's funny.
Because it's--
I'm like I don't know what--
BETH HOYT: It's like you're rubbing it in my face.
REGGIE WATTS: --drinking terms are, you know?
BETH HOYT: Exactly.
Oh, I'm taking the toke but like, I'm going to make fun of
you for drinking.
It's like why--
REGGIE WATTS: Are you-- are you serious?
BETH HOYT: Yeah.
REGGIE WATTS: No, I mean--
BETH HOYT: Just because you don't, doesn't mean you have
to do-- with the tail thing and the-- yes.
I've been a bartender.
REGGIE WATTS: Yeah, but I always do the tail thing and
it's OK because like it's a funny thing because it's--
BETH HOYT: You always do it and it's never OK.
It's never OK.
REGGIE WATTS: Why is that never OK?
BETH HOYT: Because you know it upsets me.
And also, if you bring up that YMCA counselor, like, I'm--
I--
I've already told you that--
I-- she makes me--she makes my blood boil.
REGGIE WATTS: I was--
I was like 12.
I was 12 at the time.
BETH HOYT: I know and you're still talking about it.
Obviously she meant something to you.
I just don't like when you bring her up.
REGGIE WATTS: I'm-- listen.
I'm 25.
You're 25-ish, around there.
Uh, I think at this point--
BETH HOYT: Every issue that I have a problem, you just
bring-- just--
REGGIE WATTS: You're more mature than I am and I've
always said that because you're a lady, right?
A lady human, right?
You're human, right?
BETH HOYT: Thank you.
I don't--I--
REGGIE WATTS: I've always suspected but anyways that's
not the point.
What I'm saying is that sometimes I try to fit in
because I don't do stuff that you do all the time.
I don't drink all the time, like, ah.
BETH HOYT: I don't drink all the time.
REGGIE WATTS: Like I do on My Damn Channel show
BETH HOYT: And I don't ever talk like that.
I don't--
REGGIE WATTS: I'm going to drink a lot
before I go on camera.
BETH HOYT: No.
That's now how--
that's not what happens.
REGGIE WATTS: That is.
I've--
BETH HOYT: This is--
I just wanted--
I was just asking if there's something
special that you do that's--
REGGIE WATTS: Why are you getting-- now you're getting
all riled up.
BETH HOYT: I'm--
it's too late now.
REGGIE WATTS: Maybe a little-- maybe too many Jack Daniels
before you're going on.
BETH HOYT: I didn't.
I--
let's-- first of all, I don't drink the brown stuff.
REGGIE WATTS: Yeah, OK.
Brown if it's a round.
That's what I always heard.
BETH HOYT: Uhm, if you could just--
REGGIE WATTS: You know what, I'm going to
grab my stuff because--
BETH HOYT: I'm sorry you guys.
REGGIE WATTS: --this has gotten to a horrible point and
I don't like it.
I don't like it.
BETH HOYT: The show is live and I just--I said there's
like a few things think you could not bring up and it's,
you know, everything you just brought up.
REGGIE WATTS: Well, first of all, it's not live because
there is a two millisecond delay.
So stop lying about that.
BETH HOYT: The little details you go into all the time to
just, like, make me seem wrong, that's what gets me.
That's what really gets me.
REGGIE WATTS: And it's not-- you know what?
Sometimes, you know, life's hard.
You know?
Sometimes you need to kick back and relax and listen to a
little yodeling, you know?
You know what I'm saying?
BETH HOYT: That's what you've been--
you've been saying that.
And you say it all the time.
REGGIE WATTS: I do say it all the time because that's what I
say because that's what I'm hired to say.
OK?
So here.
BETH HOYT: I wish you didn't always just--
REGGIE WATTS: Yeah, well, I wish--
BETH HOYT: --work for me.
REGGIE WATTS: I didn't wish I didn't do stuff just
like you said too.
But listen.
This is a song.
Check, one, two.
Check, one, two.
Check, one, two.
OK, here we go.

BETH HOYT: I just--
I mean, I don't know if we went too far with--
I don't know if this is going to work this time.
REGGIE WATTS: Yeah, I think it will work.
Baby, yes baby.
B is the name of your name.
Your name, your name starts with a B. Oh, yeah, yeah.
BETH HOYT: That's a good start.
REGGIE WATTS (SINGING):Your name starts with a B and B is
a letter in the alphabet.
It comes second.
It's not first.
But it's close enough, baby.
Second is the best.
Beth, you are the best at being second, yeah.
Oh, oh.

Come on.
[INAUDIBLE].

Breakdown.
[BEAT BOXING]
Yeah, yeah, uh huh, you feeling this?
BETH HOYT: Yeah.
REGGIE WATTS (SINGING): Baseline.

Yeah, come on.
Yo, yo.
Yo, yo.
Yo, yo.
Beth on My Damn Channel.
It's My Damn Channel, my damn, damn, channel.
Beth on My Damn Channel, doing the best that I can with the
Beth that I got.
Yeah, everything's going to be all right.
If you put your foot down and take another foot and take
your two feet and you put them in repeat and
you'll be moving along.
Beth, I can feel it in the [INAUDIBLE].

Beth, baby, sugar pie, baby.
[INAUDIBLE].

Yo Beth--
BETH HOYT: Yeah?
REGGIE WATTS (SINGING): You know you got
great, great red hair.
I love your reddish hair, so beautiful like
you do don't care.
You got eyes, eyes are nice.
You can see good.
You even like rice with the sushi and stuff and the
smile's real nice.
That's very good, huh?
It looks good on her, yeah.
Yo, come on, put your hands together, you for the Beth.
Yo, put your hands together, you put them
together for the Beth.
Baby, baby, baby, baby, you're the Beth.
BETH HOYT: Thanks Reggie.

Reggie Watts, everybody.
Hey, Reggie.
One more question---
oh, my God.
Do you like church?
Well, let's find out.
Here's a look--
take a look at our next video which is, uh-- it's from
Product Displacement.
It's over here.
Watch this.
Product Displacement with church.

MALE SPEAKER: Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, prepare to
be forgiven at church.
Slap on your Sunday best and kneel before our Lord and
Saviour, Jesus Christ.
Now stand.
Now sit.
Now rise.
Now sit.
Now kneel in one of our many pews.
Christ has died.
Christ is risen.
Won't you come again?
And remember, church is always free.
Swing by early and confess your sins.
Stick around afterwards for your mother the redeemer
Catechism and bake sale.
Bake sale.
This Sunday, a special glorious
performance by Pastor Chris.
He has the fingers of angels.
Don't miss it.
Don't sloth around till Christmas or Easter.
This is an event you can't miss because if you
do, you go to hell.
Unless you confess your sins, then you're fine.
Light a candle, say a prayer, receive his
body, taste his blood.
All are welcome in the house of the Lord,
except if you're gay.
Eww.
Afterwards, go right across the street to the diner for
buttermilk pancakes.
So go to church.
Happening every Sunday, Sunday, Sunday.
Amen.
DAVE WAYNE: Hi, I'm Dave Wayne and you're watching My Damn
Channel Live.

BETH HOYT: You guys, it's been an amazing half hour.
But our time has come to a close.
I want to thank Reggie Watts for being here.
I want to think the filmmakers behind our original series,
Workless, Co-op of The Damned, McMayem, The John Friedman
Internet Program, Product Displacement,
and You Rock at Photoshop.
I feel like we-- we learned a lot of lessons today.
Reggie, what kind of lessons did we learn?
REGGIE WATTS (SINGING): We learned lots of lessons.
BETH HOYT: Yep.
Just name one that you learned.
REGGIE WATTS (SINGING): We learned about teradactles.
BETH HOYT: That's it.
Thank you Reggie.
Tune in tomorrow at 4:00 PM for another episode of My Damn
Channel Live with daily grace.
I'll be back on Friday.
Say good bye, Reggie.
REGGIE WATTS (SINGING): Aw, good bye.
Good bye everyone.
Yeah, you're the best.
BETH HOYT: Aw, no, you are.
And you are.
Thanks for watching.
Good bye.
REGGIE WATTS (SINGING): Good bye.
You are, yeah.
[MUSIC PLAYING]