Gundarr - Gundarr's Origin (Ep #19)


Uploaded by MondoMedia on 14.08.2012

Transcript:
[Woman:] In an unknown dimension,
beyond what you would call space and time,
there exists a hidden world
known as Krakathoom.
Hideous dragons,
beautiful maidens,
wi-fi hotspots,
Krakathoom's got it all, baby.
In this time before time, there was once a mighty hero.
And his name
was Gundarr.
*humming*
[Gundarr:] Huh?
[Woman:] Greetings, nimble warrior.
I am Bustianna del Cobra,
and you have been judged worthy to
[Gundarr:] Wohoo! Yeah! Wet T-shirt contest!
[Bustianna:] What - Hey! Eyes up here, barbarian.
Upon your person shall be bestowed a magical weapon
of great power.
[Gundarr:] Ooh, yay! Presents!
Is it in any way boob-related?
[Bustianna:] Ugh! No!
Once a millenia,
the sword of Skeltranzibel is taken up by a champion
that with his magical blade
he might free his people from the bonds of tyranny.
[Gundarr:] Boy, that sound like a lot of work for a free sword.
What else ya got?
[Bustianna:] What? You desire not the sword?
But it has magical properties th-
[Gundarr:] Nah, I'm cool.
Next!
[Bustianna:] Oh. Well then.
Oh, here we go.
Thogdrelm. The axe of fortunes.
With this blade, John Tench the Magnificar
vanquished the dog-giants of Geshmizicar
[Gundarr:] Axes!
Axes be for GIRLS.
Look, baby,
how about you and Gundarr go find a bearskin rug we can make a mess of?
[Bustianna:] You're a real class act, aren't ya, Beef-for-Brains?
Try and focus up, huh?
Well, let's take a look at what else we've got here.
How abou the Mace of Ages?
Or the Spear of Near-Constant Awesomness?
Or Steven the Night Hammer?
Or the Baretta semi-automatic 9-millimeter with polymer grip and matte-black finish?
Or the dagger of -
[Gundarr:] Wait, what that last one again?
[Bustianna:] Steven the Night Hammer?
[Gundarr:] No no no, the one after that!
Oh, the 9-millimeter.
Oh that wasn't really a serious part of the list.
I mainly use that for shooting nuisance beavers in the pond.
[Gundarr:] Yeah, that gun perfect!
Toss it over!
[Bustianna:] Well, it's not very epic, but okay.
Heh. Here you go.
From this day forth, warrior,
your name shall be forever tied to your weapon of choice.
What is your name, champion?
[Gundarr:] Gundarr.
[Bustianna:] You shall be Gundarr no longer!
Your new name shall be...
Wait, no, I guess Gundarr works pretty well in this case.
Yeah, Gundarr's fine.
[Gundarr:] Aw, thanks Water Lady!
Now hand over all your fancy sword.
[Bustianna:] And so, a new legend was born.
And that legend
was kindof a selfish dick, as it turns out.
He is
[Gundarr:] Gundarr.