Pop-Tarts make your head swell up


Uploaded by tepples on 23.02.2010

Transcript:
>>PINO: Commercials on TV nowadays send mixed messages.
Let me give you a few examples.
♪♪
[sniff sniff]
>>PINO: To me, this one looks like a dog food commercial:
"Our dog food tastes so good that after your dog has tried it,
your old dog food will only be good for charcoal."
But they're actually trying to sell eyeglasses.
>>WOMAN: Here kitty! (ks ks ks ks ks)
Meezer! Here kitty!
[crickets chirping quietly at 90 °F (32 °C)]
Oh! Just come snuggle with Mama.
That's a good girl.
>>PINO: At this point, it looks like a humane society's commercial
for adopting an exotic pet.
You might think so especially if you play 'Animal Crossing',
a video game with a raccoon for a shopkeeper.
But this one's for glasses too.
This seems to be a pattern for Sears Optical:
pretend to sell one thing but sell something else.
At least it's not as blatant as the early days of the Energizer Bunny.
[baby crying]
>>DEEP MALE VO: Tension headaches this bad
need a pain reliever this good. [phone rings; dog barks]
New extra strength Darnitol [drum beat starts]
with ease-a-migraine.
>> ANOTHER MALE VO: Still going!
Nothing outlasts the Energizer battery.
It keeps going and going...
>> PINO: But enough commercials; let's get on to the real commercial.
♪♪
This one is for Kellogg's Pop-Tarts.
The floating strawberries are supposed to indicate
the smell of filling made from 10% fruit.
♪♪
The switch he flipped to turn the steps into a slide
reminds me of a scene from the first Care Bears movie.
>> SOUNDTRACK BAND: ♪ Look out, he's after you! ♪
♪ You ought to take care, but take care where you go ♪
♪ It's a nightmare coming true ♪
♪ The evil that's spreading is starting to grow ♪
♪ Your friends are doing all they can do ♪
♪ But what about you? ♪
♪ How can we help this unfortunate soul? ♪
♪ How can we stop him? He's out of control ♪♪
>> PINO: I wonder if they make those steps for real.
♪♪
Aren't you forgetting something?
You're supposed to pull the other knob to switch the stairs back.
It's like putting the toilet seat down when you flush;
just a common courtesy.
>> BOY: Pop-Tarts please.
>> PINO: How do you keep your balance
swinging that huge head of yours around?
More importantly, how do you keep from getting whiplash?
♪♪
He's tap-dancing on the floor
and pretending the kitchen floor tiles are a DDR pad.
So I guess the arrows are on the teleprompter.
What kind of broken toaster spits out Pop-Tarts at that angle?
>> FEMALE VO: When you give your kids frosted strawberry Pop-Tarts,
baked with real fruit
>> PINO: "Baked with real fruit" could just mean
baked in the same oven as real fruit.
I'll give Kellogg's credit here:
at least the filling in Pop-Tarts is 10% fruit.
But there's something even more disturbing here:
the boy's head is far bigger than the woman's.
The only conclusion I can draw
is that the woman never ate Pop-Tarts as a child.
Because obvously, eating Pop-Tarts makes your head swell up.
Let me put it another way: This is your body.
This is your body on Pop-Tarts.
Any questions?