Eddsworld - Hammer & Fail 2


Uploaded by eddsworld on 23.07.2011

Transcript:
[Music] Eddsworld Theme
[Singing] I did not want to do this.
(SFX: Dramatic Crash)
(SFX: Film Projector Whirring)
[Music] Ominous Choir
[Music] Ominous Choir
(Edd) Looks like we need more space around here.
(Tom) Well, I guess the only logical option is to add an extra floor on the house.
(Edd-echoing) Eduardo...
(Eduardo) What are you losers doing now?
(SFX- Helicopter Flying)
(Tom) Why did you leave?
(SFX: Roof crashing)
(Tom) WHY?!
(Matt) Ahhh! Not the face!
(SFX: Muffled Crash)
[Intro Music]
(SFX: Record Scratch)
[Hardcore Intro Music]
(SFX: Toast popping up)
(Edd) So...uh, sleep well last night?
(Tom) Ugh. No. Matt kept me up all night.
(Edd) What do you mean?
(Tom) Augh. He just kept screaming, crying, begging for help,
[Creepy Music; Getting louder]
his things breaking, the evil laughter, sobbing, his tv keeps turning on and off, his window opening, and suddenly enigmatic gusts of wind are coming through.
(SFX: chomping toast)
(Tom-mouth full) You know, that sort of thing.
(Edd) What's wrong with him?
(Tom) What do I look like, his friend?
(Edd) Maybe we should go and see what's happening up there.
(SFX: Walking up stairs)
[Ominous music]
(Matt) Hey chums! How is everyone this fine morning?
(Edd) Wow Matt, this place is actually clean.
(Matt) Indeed. I thought I might as well tidy up a tad.
(Tom) I'm surprised you found the time in your busy self-worship schedule.
(Matt) Yes well, I thought it was time to unclutter my life and become less vain and narcissistic.
(SFX: Arm woosh)
(SFX: Grabbing schedule)
(SFX: Crunching paper)
(SFX: Crunched paper falls)
(Edd) I'm impressed. Being tidy, not caring about your looks.
(Tom) Using words with more than two syllables.
(Edd) Ha ha. Yeah.
(Edd - Sarcastic) Who are you and what have you done with the real Matt?
(Edd continues laughing)
(SFX: Matt's neck crunching)
[Creepy Music]
(Edd) Oh.
(SFX: Explosion)
[Creepy Music]
(Deep Voiced Matt) *Evil Laughter*
(Deep Voiced Matt) After centuries of waiting, I can finally take over the world.
(SFX: Body cracking)
(Deep Voiced Matt) I will level mountains, destroy monuments, enslave ent-
(Matt) But I like monuments.
(Deep Voiced Matt) What?
(Matt) I don't want to destroy monuments.
(Deep Voiced Matt) I Don't Care.
(Matt) You can't do-
(Deep Voiced Matt) Silence Mortal.
(Deep Voiced Matt) The world will tremble at my feet.
(Matt) Not if I have anything to say about it.
(Deep Voiced Matt) Well you don't.
(Matt) Why not?
(Deep Voiced Matt) Because I'm controlling your body.
(Matt) I hate you. You threw away my milk.
(Deep Voiced Matt) The milk was expired.
(Matt) You're expired.
(Deep Voiced Matt) How dare you.
(Deep Voiced Matt) You know what? Bugger this.
[Ethereal Notes]
(SFX: Cloud flying around)
(SFX: Explosion in reverse)
(SFX: Woosh)
(Matt) Guys, I think our house might- MIGHT...
(Matt) be a little possessed.
(Matt) Or nothing. Maybe- maybe it's nothing.
(Tom) And the last horse crosses the finishing line.
(SFX: Tom walking)
(SFX: Woosh)
(Edd) Can we still get in?
(Tom-offscreen) I don't see why not, we just open the and-
(SFX: Ghostly Woosh)
(Tom) Oh! Now I'm going backwards.
(SFX: Woosh)
(SFX: Crash and car alarm)
(SFX: Car alarm)
(SFX: Car chirps)
(Edd) Well, I hate to say it, but we, uh, we could ask-
(Edd) Eduardo...
(SFX: Woosh)
(Edd) for help.
(Matt) Oh, but those guys suck! They'll never help us.
(Edd) I think there's a good chance, just as long as we're really really subtle.
[Music] Doorbell version of Folk Guitar Sting
(SFX: Knob turning)
(Tom) Um, pardon me neighbor. What a lovely day.
(Tom) Could we, perchance, borrow a cup of your finest sugar?
(Matt- panicked) Oh god! You gotta help us! Our house is haunted and with a guy who wants to destroy monuments!
(Matt- panicked) Does anyone have any spare trousers?
(Eduardo) Jon, Mark, come check these douche bags out.
(SFX: Woosh)
(Edd) Yeah. It appears we might have a very slight, teeny tiny...
(Edd) *breath* spirit infestation.
[Intensely Creepy Music]
(Mark) Ah, looks as stupid as always to me.
(Jon) Ghosts? Spirits?
(Jon) Sounds like you bozos have been watching too many-
[Intensely Creepy Music]
(Ghost) *ROAR*
(SFX: Structure wobbling)
(SFX: Structure collapsing)
(SFX: Woosh)
(Eduardo- Mock surprise) Oh lordy! The ghost has transformed our extension into pure cardboar...
(Eduardo) We'll help you guys.
(SFX: City background noise)
(Clerk) WHAT?! You're crazy!
(Clerk) How could you not like ice cream?
(Clerk) Ice cream is delicious.
(Matt) Too cold. It hurts my teeth.
(Tom) Wait, when did we start talking about this?
(Clerk) Anyway, as for the ghost thing,
(Clerk) That sounds about right. Didn't you get spirit insurance?
(Edd) Damn it, past Edd!
(SFX: Woosh)
(Edd) Hello, uh, Insta-roof?
(Edd) Yeah, yeah, um.
[Dramatic Drum Hits]
(SFX: Woosh)
(Clerk) *Annoyed Sigh*
(Clerk) People need to start reading the ad.
(SFX: Woosh)
(SFX: Thud)
(SFX: Woosh)
(Matt) Caution: Rooms may contain ghosts, spirits, poltergeists, or rabid ferrets?
(Clerk) Yeah, our factory's between a cemetery and a vet.
(Snarling and screaming in background)
(Clerk) It's not ideal.
(Edd) So there's nothing you can do?
(Clerk) Not unless you got that insurance.
(Clerk) Sorry fellas.
(SFX: Footsteps walking out.)
(SFX: Woosh)
(Tom) You know what? This store's a load of bull-
(Tom) FERRET- *Screaming*
(SFX: Footsteps)
(Edd) So, any luck with the psychic?
(Eduardo) She said haunted houses were stupid and that you guys were stupid.
(Jon) I thought she said we were stupid.
(Eduardo) I'm gonna punch you in the face.
(Tom) So, what do we do now?
(Matt) The only thing we can do.
(Matt) Wreck everything in the house.
(Edd) Move really really far away.
(Edd) What?
(Matt) What?
(Tom) I don't know. Matt kind of has a point.
(Tom) I mean, uh, it cleaned everything in his room. Maybe it just hates mess.
(Matt) Oh, right, yeah! That's...that's what I meant.
(Matt) Cause of the ghost.
(Matt) I- I didn't forget.
(Eduardo) You guys are so lame. Like we want to spend all afternoon watching you destroy your earthly cherished possessio-
(Eduardo) Yeah...
(SFX: Woosh)
(Eduardo) Someone pass the soda.
(SFX: Woosh)
(Tom) Okay guys, we ready? Are we ready, guys? Guys, are we ready?
(Tom) ARE WE READY?!
(Edd) YEAH WE'RE READY!
(Matt) Yeah.
(Tom) ARE WE READY?!
(Edd) WE'RE READY!
(Matt) Yeah...
(Tom) ARE YOU READY?
(Edd) YEAH WE'RE READY!
(Matt) Yeah!
(Tom) AHHHHHH!
(Edd) AHHHHHH!
(Matt) YEAH!
(Tom) AHHHHHHH!
(Edd- Higher Pitched) AHHHHHHH!
(Matt) YAHHHHHHHH!
(Tom) AHHHHHHHH!
(Edd) Yeah, we're ready.
(Mark) Nice armor...idiots.
(SFX: Woosh)
(SFX: Punch)
(Jon) Owwwww. I didn't even say any-
(Eduardo) SHUT UP.
(Tom) Charge!
[Music] Frantic Fight Instrumental
(Matt) Oh dear god! It's
(Matt) exactly the same.
(Tom) *Snap* The attic!
(Matt) The attic?
(Edd) The attic.
[Music] Frantic fight instrumental
(SFX: Walking up stairs)
(SFX: Woosh)
(SFX: SMASH)
(SFX: KICK)
(SFX: PUNCH)
(SFX: Lid hits ground)
(SFX: SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE)
(SFX: Clothes squeezing)
(SFX: Clothes collapsing on floor)
[Music] Intensely Frantic Fight Instrumental
(SFX: Thunder crash)
(SFX: Squeeking)
(SFX: Squish)
(SFX: Thunder Crash)
(Scream Off-screen)
(Ghost) *ROAR*
(SFX: Roaring; things breaking)
(Mark and Jon laughing)
(Mark, Jon, and Eduardo laughing)
[Music] Frantic Fight Instrumental
(SFX: SMACK)
(SFX: Woosh)
(SFX: PUNCH)
(Ghost) *Growl*
(SFX: Bat hits ground)
(SFX: SMACK)
(Ghost) *Growl*
(SFX: SLAM)
(Ghost) *Growl*
(Ghost) *Laughing*
(Tom) EDD!
(Ghost- Regular voice) Hang on a tick, did you say Edd?
(Tom) Um...yeah?
(Ghost) Wait one second, I have to check something.
(SFX: Woosh; crash)
(SFX: Footsteps)
(Ghost) Blimey, this is a bit of a cock up, but I have the wrong house.
(Ghost) Oh, I'm so sorry about this.
(Ghost) I'm actually after a Mr. Eduardo
(Ghost) *Evil Laugh*
(Eduardo) Hey, stop that you lousy ghost!
(SFX: Off-screen fighting and destruction)
(Jon) *Screams* Relinquish our property!
(SFX: PUNCH)
(SFX: SMACK)
(Edd) Do you think we should help them?
(Tom and Matt) Nah.
(Eduardo) I'll get you for this, you dirty sons of-
(SFX: PUNCH)
[Hardcore Techno Music]
[Music] Techno Eddsworld Theme
[Music] Electronic Chime