Royal Dining - Ep: 53


Uploaded by LizzieBennet on 08.10.2012

Transcript:
Lizzie: So it's just me today.
Charlotte is meeting with a prospective client—
Yes, she's working on a Sunday. Again.
—and she thought that me sitting in a corner talking to a video camera would be off-putting.
But! In my continuing quest to spend as much time as possible with my since-fetuses best friend,
I'm going to be right here waiting for her when she gets back to the office.
Which hopefully won't take too long, as Ricky just returned from Canada where he was visiting with his fiancée.
I’m still not really sure what to make of that.
But his return does set into motion a chain of events that could change my life forever.
My name is Lizzie Bennet, and tomorrow, I dine with royalty.
Okay, I’m not really dining with royalty,
but we are having dinner with Ricky Collins’s venture capitalist that he just can't stop talking about.
Catherine de Bourgh
Which, you know, kind of sounds like royalty.
Something about having “de” before your last name…
Lizzie de Bennet?
Anyway, I am admittedly a little nervous about this dinner.
I mean the way Ricky talks about Catherine makes her seem like the most important and influential person in the universe.
And she does sound like a pretty impressive woman.
This could be an opportunity to learn from someone who has achieved so much in their career.
You know, besides…
Mr. Collins: Hello!
Lizzie: Where did you come from?
Mr. Collins: Winnipeg, Manitoba.
Lizzie: That’s not what I meant.
Mr. Collins: Well, the reason I have not been present at Collins and Collins recently is because I have been otherwise engaged.
And by engaged, I realize that you would deduce that I am promised to be married; but
it is actually a double entendre, for I was visiting my lovely fiancée in Winnipeg, Manitoba.
Lizzie: Well.
That’s…uh…
Mr. Collins: And I have found Manitoba to be quite an exquisite province of Canada—
So exquisite that I intend to extend my next stay for more than simply a few days.
Lizzie: And to spend more time with your fiancée?
Mr. Collins: Oh! Yes.
Her as well.
So…what do you think of the offices?
Lizzie: Oh! Um, they’re very nice.
Um, very…officey.
Mr. Collins: Well this is obviously not the superlative section of the office.
There are several wings.
Have you seen my office?
Its view of the car park is breathtaking.
Would you like a tour? I'm sure you'd find it very impressive.
Lizzie: Oh! Oh actually, um...
Charlotte gave me a very impressive tour last week.
Mr. Collins: So you’ve observed how Ms. Catherine de Bourgh was very generous with her resources utilized to furnish this glorious sanctuary.
And speaking of Ms. de Bourgh…
Lizzie: This isn’t another job offer, is it?
Mr. Collins: Oh no, no, no, of course not.
While one would surmise that you are indubitably in awe of
the tremendous opportunity that you previously declined,
this is instead some information for tomorrow evening.
Lizzie: It's a list.
Mr. Collins: Well I didn't want you to be ill prepared for your dining with Ms. de Bourgh tomorrow night.
I'm sure you'll want to make a most favorable impression on her,
and I feel it is my duty to offer my experience for you,
so you can take advantage over your inexperienced self in the situation.
Lizzie: Uh... Thank you. I think?
Mr. Collins: Of course, it's my pleasure.
Oh! And don't worry about proper dress for tomorrow,
no one can rival the stately attire of Ms. de Bourgh.
So if you’d simply choose the least offensive outfit you've brought along with you
I’m certain that would be more than satisfactory.
Farewell, Miss Bennet,
Viewers.
Lizzie: Eat each type of food on your plate separately, one item at a time.
If you must utilize a knife, do so with your left hand.
Never say the word “catalog.”
Avoid wearing any accessories with hints of cerulean.
If time allows, memorize all the songs from Ms. de Bourgh’s favorite musical—
See full list on last page.
Wow. Okay.
Well one thing's for sure, this should prove to be a dinner to remember.
And Charlotte, don't worry,
I promise to be on my best behavior to both Ricky and Ms. de Bourgh.
I know you want to do well here, and I want you to.
I’m trying, I promise.
See?
Do not extend your thumbs outward while the remainder of your fingers are curled in towards your palms…