ShakespeaRe-told: The Taming of the Shrew (the lift bit)


Uploaded by opranoodlmantra on 22.04.2008

Transcript:
You're mad.
Even if the bitch from the black lagoon is here, which is unlikely...
what are you gonna say to her, eh?
'Cause I'm not going to introduce you.
Come on!
I dare you.
50 quid says you won't get a look-in.
50 quid says you won't want to. Not when you clap eyes on the old trout.
Excuse me. - Katherine!
Get back in here NOW and apologise.
Jumped-up little prick!
What's happened? - Oh, hello, Harry.
You will not do this to my guests!
Robbie just offered to show her a few chords...
and she smashed the guitar over his head.
This is the trouble, you see.
Any time anyone is nice to her, she just thinks they're taking the mick.
Oh, go to hell!
All of you! And STAY THERE.
Is that...?
Kate! - Katherine.
I prefer Kate. - Do you?
It suits you, Kate. Kate, Kate.
My sort of Kate.
Kate, Kate.
Kate. - And you are?
I'm... going to marry you.
Are you indeed?
Well, I've heard that can happen.
You see someone you never clapped eyes on before...
and, clang, in a flash, you just know.
Right there in front of you.
Really? OK.
Well, whilst it's been a delight and a pleasure...
whilst I can think of nothing finer than spending my life with a certifiable lunatic...
I do have things to do, so if you will excuse me...
I don't want to alarm you, but the doors aren't opening.
What? - The doors, they aren't...
No, stop. Don't!
Don't do that!
Fantastic. Now you've really buggered it up!
Oh, have I? Sorry.
Have you got a mobile?
Nope. - Damn.
Ah, don't worry. Gives us more time to get to know each other.
Help!
May I put my cards on the table?
Please, don't.
Hello!
There is something really very...
Yes? What?
...alluring...
...arousing...
...about the way you move your lips when you... snarl.
Excuse me?
Talk. - What?
Say something.
Oh, for God's sake!
Has my mother put you up to this?
No. I was just thinking.
About sex... in a lift.
It's the kind of thing that people show off about.
What're you talking about? Are you threatening me?
No. I'm just... - You are!
...pointing out that some people might regard this, in certain circumstances...
as an ideal opportunity to, um...
get to know each other.
You are. You're making lewd threats.
I was having lewd thoughts, I wasn't making threats.
Oh, yeah? Well, don't.
Don't what? - Have lewd thoughts. Not about me.
That's not what I'm here for. It isn't on the agenda, it's off the menu.
Do you understand?
Oh, Kate!
Katherine!
You have no idea how tempting you are to a man like me.
You do that again, I'll hit you back.
Harder.
Kate!
Miss Minola.
I like... everything you do.
I like everything about you.
And I'm serious.
I want to marry you.
Who are you?
I was told you were horrible, disgusting and obnoxious.
You're nothing of the kind!
It's lies. You... you're plucky.
You're fun. You're exciting.
That's the thing. That's the big thing.
I don't think I ever thought about what my kind of woman was before.
Kate...
Well, er, I'll leave you to it.
The concierge called to say the lift was stuck...
and did we know anyone who might be in there.
This is Kate.
Yeah, yeah, well, we've met.
We're going to be married.
In your dreams, mush.
Don't pay any attention to her. She can't get enough of me.
We agreed to keep quiet about it, you know, in public.
Really?
I'll book the registry office for a week on...
Well, as soon as I can. It's all I can say. - Right, you do that.
'Bye! Be in touch.
Okay.
Kiss me, Kate!
Up yours, weirdo.
She likes me.