Зоовыпуск з: [Zoopisode]

Sup I'm Stas Davidov.
And now we have 3 digits in our episode numbers.
Un-freaking-believable.
So happens that today Internet gave us animal videos.
All three of them.
Primates are animals, right? Right.
And primate video was sent by Sormovsky.
Ladies and gentleman! Gibbon alpha-male is about to hit the glass.
Don't worry, only an alpha version of male has this bug.
We promice that beta will be more stable.
I really like this word, alpha-male.
I always thought they looked something like that.
And then i see this.
Oh btw, there's one ninja hiding in this vid.
Anyone have any idea where?
Well yeah, it's obvious that he's here.
Good thing this vid appeared only now.
Otherwise everyone'd think that this is just another Planet of Apes ad.
But this guy shouldn't smile at a gibbon like that.
Video loses it's fun when you look at it in slowmotion~
Yeah, alpha-male didn't joke [alpha-male jokes are lame]
If it wasn't for the glass, guy would've got his ass kicked in the neck [kick + neck = ass]
He's very lucky that the stupid gibbon after all this time still couldn't remember there was a glass there [anti-death condom]
Only the child understood all the danger of this situation.
[*crycrycry*]
[*more cry*]
[*breast feed anyone?*]
Maybe that was the day when he said his first word.
But it wasn't "mama" or "papa" but
OMG THIS BIG BLACK MONKEY WANTED TO KILL MY FATHER!
[afroamerican]
What a dumbass. Said his first words and already a racist.
And this is Horosho!
I warn you that the review of the next vid will mostly consist of words "hipster", "mainstream" and "dubstep".
[Wiki-Stas for n00bs] Hipsters are now popular lovers of everything unpopular.
Mainstream is everything popular.
Dubstep is a popular music that does "WOB-WOB"
And to continue this we must change the colors a bit.
Not bad [vintage, damnit ;[ ]
So yeah, not your usual case.
This vid became popular not on YouTube but on hipster Vimeo.
So hipster Vimeo has it's hipster dubstep kitty [kitty ^^]
His name is Skifcha and he got 1,5 million view in 5 days [mainstream]
He also has a group on FaceBook and Vk.com
And he's from Russia [Russian hipster dubstep cat]
You see, he's so hipster that he's Russian.
[yes, that's my boy!]
If you like this video - you're a hipster! [dirty hipsta ;[ ]
And if you didn't like it you're... hipster, coz you're against mainstream [Hipster sells sea-hipster on hipster-shore %)) ]
And i think the we must make this vid better.
[explosion makes everything better]
Yup, that's better [much]
Hey wait! Dubstep is mainstream!
As far as I remember, 2 years ago only guys like this listened to it.
And now even guys like this listen to it.
In a bus, via phone speakers.
You know the difference between a hipster cat and a regular cat?
Hipster cat shits on master's glasses.
Coz pissing in slippers is too mainstream.
And this is Horosho!
Third vid is about a bird.
Yes, birds are animals!
Real metazoa!
Bilateral!
Deuterostome! [did his homework :D]
I have no idea what those words mean [who these people are]
But when i say them i feel smarter than a gibbon alpha-male.
Kesha's a macho.
Kesha's a good boy.
Kesha's a prettyboy.
How, just how can you still name your parrots Kesha?
[parrot names: Kesha, Popka, Gosha, Bird, Friedrich Anna Maria] Don't you have imagination?
It's like calling your son Ahwhatever [Ahwhatever Davidov]
Sasha came back.
Birdie is lonely, oh my birdie, my boy.
Kesha's sunshine.
I love i love you.
I dunno which gender is this stripy dictaphone
but he's chattering like Tina Kandelaki.
[machine gun?]
Before, parrots were huge and could only hold a couple of phrases.
And today this little crappy can hold up to 16 GB of information.
But judging by the vocabulary, this guy holds everything his master knows.
You're kidding me! And then what?
You're kidding me! And then what?
Like, reeeally!
I can already see her talking on the phone with her friends next to that bird.
[bla-bla-bla]
And here's the result.
[the horror 0_0]
You're kidding me! And then what?
Like, reeeally!
My parrot would say different phrases.
For example "you have small dick", "yo momma is a fat whore" and "i'll kill your dog" [an ideal parrot formula %) ]
And call him Captcha.
Or Skifcha.
Altho it's just me dreaming.
If I really bought this kind of parrot, he'd prolly won't be able to do anything. Well, it's alwasys like this [copying his master ;] ]
Kesha's a tourist.
Where's my suitcase?
Where's mycase?
Kesha's a pilot.
And in this moment he prolly got thrown across the room [weeeeee]
Kesha's a pilot.
There's only one awesome phrase he learned from his master.
Let's go drink tea.
Who doesn't drink tea is a schmuck.
Who doesn't drink tea.. drink.. is a schmuck.
I totally agree.
Who doesn't drink tea is a schmuck.
Schmuck
Schmuck
And I just couldn't let this one by!
Sup, sup!
I'm Stas Davidov!
And in the end his voice module broke down [complicated biorobot]
Gimme a kiss.
*parrot swearing*
Kesha *parrot swearing*
And this is Horosho!
And the question was sent to us by xblx4e
xblx4e, to get your T-shirt check you YouTube inbox.
What should you do for the marriage to be happy?
Dear experts, what should you do for the marriage to be happy?
Leave your interesting comments here on Youtube!
Btw, one important detail.
Adding your video question, the question itself should be in the your video name.
That’s all folks, I’m Stas Davidov. Subscribe, click “like” and send your videos here [thisishorosho.ru] to the “На Обзор” section.
So, why does a cat need whiskers for?
Well, beats wearing a beard
When the cat is bored he tickles his balls with it
Cat needs whiskers to catch wi-fi. Didn't you know?
My cat refused to answer this question without his attorney=)
Cat has whiskers for Usachev to get jealous.
But this guy shouldn't smile at a gibbon like that.
lookin' at a gibbon
And this is Horosho!
V: stand in the center
Am i... oh yeah...
And this is Horosho!
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