Power Outage! Zombie Apocalypse! LIVE - 5/29/12 (Full Ep)


Uploaded by MyDamnChannel on 29.05.2012

Transcript:

BETH HOYT: Our power is out.
Our power is out.
Where's Tom Hanks?

Are we back?
I don't even-- you guys, this shit is live.
Because our power just went out because it's hot, and
because Twitter is down.
And if Twitter wasn't down right now,
there would be a solution.
Do you realize what's happening?
Do you understand that we're in 2012.
Is that right?
That felt weird to say that.
It's 2012, right?
What's happening, you guys?
My brain is not battery operated, it relies on the
power of the studio.
OK, here's what's happening.
Welcome to My Damn Channel LIVE.
I'm Beth Hoyt and you are--
you, oh, this is my green room.
Back to you.
You are--
I don't-- are you Jim?
Are you Jim?
Or Sally.
There's no Sallys watching.
Are you a Sally?
I never would have though a Sally
would- a Sally on YouTube?
That's surprising.
I say surprise yourself once a day.
That's what I always say.
If you haven't surprised yourself by the time you go to
bed, then you need to Google the kid who used to be in
Jerry Maguire.
Or that was in Jerry Maguire.
Then just surprise the crap out of yourself,
and then fall asleep.
That's accomplished.
Here's another surprise.
You need to subscribe.
You need to subscribe to the show.
If you're already subscribed, you understand
the benefits of this.
If you haven't subscribed, you need to know that you will be
entered into a contest that will allow you to win this
bicycle or a sex date with one of the retired space shuttles.
Or you can also win a brand new torso from the best torso
surgeon in New York City.
You have to fly here, though.
Those are all things you can win if you subscribe.
Just subscribe.
Here's another surprise, you guys.
Power's out.
It's not that big of a deal.
It's just getting kind of hot and I can't breathe or think.
No, but really.
Guess what.
Tilda Swinton--
you know her, right?
You know Tilda Swinton from Chronicles of Narnia, Michael
Clayton, or from like a magazine spread when you look
at it and you're like, who is that?
Is that David Bowie?
Anyway, she put a video in my blog, which is
called Beth in Show.
Are you subscribed there?
Anyways, she put a video on my blog this weekend.
And she read the tweets of the Twitter account
for not Tilda Swinton.
Which is weird, right?
Kind of weird.
But she's weird.
Check it out.

I feel a thought.
Clothes are lies of cotton fiber.
Do you know the taste of debt?
Scoop it into your mouth in handfuls.
Just once, know intimately the flavor of
the planet you inhabit.

I have flown as a bird.
What have I learned?
The idea of flying, pure in the mind, is beautiful.
The reality is it's sweaty, taxing.
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello.

Bless you.
I slept for two years in a hall filled with milk.
I shall not sleep again for a decade.
I sleep simply as a hobby.
Another day, another set of fresh fingernails to replace.
When I spent time at the scale of an ant, I learned the lack
of correlation between size and majesty.
Have you climbed a blade of grass?
Lavender dusk gives way to the coming night.
Whisper to the first person that you see that their aura
was blinding.
Freedom is running on all fours across the vast expanse
of an Arizona desert, feeding on cactus
needles and lizard sweat.
Living.
Take a moment, children.
Think back to a time you were glorious.
The universe remembers as well.
Payment it on its way.

Hi, guys, that was creepy, right?
Tilda kidnapped me.
I had to lick my way through the ice to get out.
What was--
anyway, that's on my blog Beth in Show.
You guys, just so you know, this is what you need to know.
We have a control room that is still operating.
So that's why we can still do those videos.
I don't understand.
I'm sure some of you understand that.
I don't get it.
There's like this room that's powered by God
that is still working.
But just so you know this.
Also, like 5 minutes before the show began, everything in
the studio just went out.
Just all the lights were black.
If the lights turn back on as soon as this show is over, we
know we're being sabotaged.

Who is our enemy?
Who is out to get us?
We're going to figure this out.
But also, that'll happen.
My personal fanner-- luckily, the air conditioning went out,
but I have a little boy who fans me.
I'm fine.
I want to talk about some of your comments.
We wrote them down because even though it is 2012--
did I tell you guys our power's out?
Anyway, I wrote them out.
This one's from cymanmar13.
He wrote, "I just did--" or he or she-- "I just did--" you'll
see why I assume it's a guy--
"I just did 200 push-ups while waiting for the show to start.
Not girl push-ups either, real ones."
Am I screaming?
First of all, I think that girl ones
are called real ones.
I was going to demonstrate a push-up, now I just look like
I'm doing some sort of bad sexual thing.
I'm not going to-- how about triceps dips in the chair.
That's what we're doing today.
This is a real like when you're at home and you want to
just burn a few calories if you're watching TV and you
don't feel like going to the gym, here you go.
You easily burn about 7 to 8 calories doing that.
That's a quick tip.
This one's from xwarhammerx.
Sounds like a nice person. "I came for the Beth and stayed
for the burp."
That was from my blog from last week, the "What's in my
Purse" blog.
I know that because I burped.
I mean, that's not a new thing to do.
I burp all the time.
I drink a lot of club soda.
I think it's a very natural thing to do.
And just happened.
Thank you for coming for the Beth and staying for the burp,
but the burp happened 30 seconds in.
So did you leave?
OK, anyway, thanks for that, though.
We're going to move into a video now because we want to
give some shout-outs to satanists.
So luckily we have this video.
It's called "Rosemary's Other Baby." It's from
Co-Op of the Damned.

CAROL: Hey, silly.
This was in the bedroom.
SHAWN: Oh, well, I'm goofy.
[DOORBELL RINGING].
CAROL: Oh, guests.
MALE SPEAKER: Hi, welcome to the building.
SHAWN: Thanks.
I'm Shawn.
This is Carol.
And you are some sort of cult?
FEMALE SPEAKER: Accurate.
MALE SPEAKER: Tell me, have you and your wife considered
having a child?
CAROL: You mean like for you guys?
You guys are satanists!
SHAWN: Totally!
Count us in!
FEMALE SPEAKER: Just like that?
CAROL: Shawn, can you imagine me carrying
the spawn of Satan?
SHAWN: Your sister is going to be so jealous.
Let's call her now.
CAROL: Yeah.
MALE SPEAKER: That felt a little too easy.
[DOORBELL RINGING]
MALE SPEAKER: Hey, look who's here, guys?
CAROL: Who wants snickerdoodles?
SHAWN: We thought now might be a good time to talk about
logistics and stuff.
CAROL: Yeah, like when your boss is going to go town on my
fertile crescent.
SHAWN: Also, have you guys talked about baby names yet?
FEMALE SPEAKER: We're pretty set on Damian.
CAROL: OK.
Sure.
Yeah, we could trickle back to that.
MALE SPEAKER: Well, we should go, actually.
CAROL: Oh.
Where you going?
MALE SPEAKER: We have this thing that we do.
SHAWN: OK.
But--
MALE SPEAKER: I know.
CAROL: Did you get my ovulation calendar I sent you?
MALE SPEAKER: Oh my god.

CAROL: Never too early to think about it.
MALE SPEAKER: Guys.

MALE SPEAKER: OK, so once yo have the baby, we'll take it
from there.
Simple as that.
CAROL: What the hell is going on here?
FEMALE SPEAKER: Ew.
SHAWN: Yeah, who's this shiksa?
FEMALE SPEAKER: How the hell did you get in here?
CAROL: Are you guys backing out?
Shawn, do something.
MALE SPEAKER: Just explain what's going on.
BETH HOYT: All right.
Jesus Christ, we looked into it and the mother of Satan's
baby can't have gone to ASU.
CAROL: It's the number one party school.
And then on Facebook you friended the--
FEMALE SPEAKER: Extreme Couponing.
MALE SPEAKER: Twice.
CAROL: I like that show.
MALE SPEAKER: And you put on that outfit and you look at
yourself in the mirror this morning and you thought, yes.
FEMALE SPEAKER: Why are you so afraid of looking pretty?
MALE SPEAKER: And do you know your SAT verbals are lower
than your credit rating?
MALE SPEAKER: And snickerdoodles--
really?
Do we look like Mennonites?
MALE SPEAKER: What trying to say is we're just
not that into you.
CAROL: No.

MALE SPEAKER: I'm still cool, right?
FEMALE SPEAKER: If it's a boy, can we name him Maverick?

BETH HOYT: Hi, guys.
We're back--
in the green room.
In my little hang-out room because the power was down.
I want to keep talking about your comments because we're
just chilling.
Just me and you and--
and the zombies.

No, OK, here's a comment from wxsyz.
"It's the zombie apocalypse.
No, seriously.
That guy who bit off the other guy's face,
it was him." Yeah.
Wait I don't know what we're talking about.

Are we talking about what's happening here because the
power being out?
Who bit off who's face?
What is happening in the other room?
I'm in here with you guys.
And I don't know.
And then the power's out.
So are people--
people are biting off each other's faces?
Is that what's going on?
The crew and interns are all just--
I'm not leaving this room.
I'm not leaving this room until the power--
people go crazy when that kind of thing happens.
Let's see.
[INAUDIBLE]
says, "Hey, does Beth ever swear?"
I don't ever, ever fucking swear.
No.
Don't do that.
Let's see, I'm going to find another one that I liked.
Oh, someone wants to know--
I'm going to find your name.
You guys, there it is.
Someone that's talking about me doing a Nicki Minaj song.
Oh, it's misssavetheicecaps.
Yes, save them.
Go green.
And Tilda Swinton is doing her damnedest to
save the ice caps.
You know she is.
She has her spell on a lot of people.
And there's one here it's a Nicki Minaj song, go, go, go.
I can't really--
well, here's the problem.
As a tease.
But do you remember when Grace--
when they did the Nicki Minaj song?
I can't even compete with that.
I don't want to try.
I just tease that up and I can do other raps.
I will rap for you.
I promise.
Not right now.
It's too hot.

I want to tell you guys a few things.
Ready?
This is serious.
This Thursday in New York City at the 92nd Street Y Tribeca,
the Comic's Comic Sean McCarthy is doing a show with
My Damn Channel stars, like Jon Friedman, Kristin Schaal,
Dan St. Germain, and Dave Hill.
All of them are going to be there.
It's at 9:00 PM.
I totally am going to go.
And tomorrow--
guys, tomorrow we're going to hav power.
And we're going to have power.
The zombies--
we're going to clean the blood up.
We're going to get all the brains off the ground and
we're going to have a frigging summer barbecue live with
Daily Grace, Max Silvestri, and Gabe
Delahaye from Videogum.
The four of us are going to drink, and make food, and have
a live comment party with you guys.
And we're going to have a live pig roast.
And that's happening tomorrow at 4:00.
And you should subscribe, so you don't miss that.
Or any of this live action.
Holy crap.
We made it.
Did we make it?
We made it.
That's it.

[MUSIC PLAYING]