[Blue:] I just got my car washed by sorority girls!
It's the best!
[Red:] I just got my dick washed by sorority girls.
It's the breast.
[Blue:] So I don't want you to get any of your shit all over my car.
Especially your shit.
(Red farts)
[Gelato:] Alright-a. It be eighty-seven dollars.
[Blue:] Thanks for buying lunch, man.
For once.
[Red:] I thought you said you were gettin' lunch.
[Blue:] What? I didn't bring any money!
[Red:] I never have money!
[Gelato:] If-a you don't have-a the money,
you got to work at the kitchen.
[Blue and Red:] Huh?
[Gelato:] Work-a in-a the kitchen!
Mama, these-a two suckerfaces
a-no pay for their meal-a.
[Mama:] Then you gotta make-a the pizza.
[Red:] I'm-a too young-a to make-a the pizza!
Sorry, it's really catchy.
[Gelato:] You need to make fourteen pizzas
for these hungry drunk-a bitches.
[Girl 1:] Guys, I just ordered pizza!
Woo!
[Girl 2:] Body shots! (Cheering)
[Blue:] Okay. We can do this.
We'll just roll out the dough... [Red:] Yo, what's this thing do?
(Red screaming
[Blue:] Oh. My. God!
Aah! You're getting it all over the pizza!
[Red:] I'm makin' red sauce!
[Blue:] Get some napkins! Get some napkins in there!
Hngh. I think I'm gonna be sick.
[Red:] I think I'm gonna be dead.
*thud*
[Gelato:] Mama mia, that's a nice-a pizza.
Now you got-a two minuti to take it to those bitches.
[Blue:] Don't we need to bake it?
[Gelato:] No, no, we never cook it.
Get out a here!
[Mama:] Gelato, you never make a pie that-a beautiful.
[Gelato:] I'm sorry, mama!
[Mama:] Ravioli.
[Red:] Driver!
[Blue:] There's no way you're driving my car.
How did this happen!
[Dingleberry:] Hey, guys!
(Tires screeching)
[Blue:] Ohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuck
ohfuckohfuckohfuck!
[Red:] Get the body! No evidence, get the body!
[Blue:] What're you doing, man?
[Red:] I don't know! Drive away, drive away!
[Blue:] Oh my god, that was close!
We can't do that again!
*bump*
Ohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuck
Aaaagh!
ohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuck
No no no no no!
Waaaah!
(Blue crying)
[Red:] This is a huge problem!
[Blue:] Yeah, there are like twenty dead people in my car!
[Red:] No! I don't think we're gonna get a tip!
[Blue:] Well what're we gonna do?
[Red:] I've got an idea.
[Blue:] Oh, no.
Oh no!
Oh, that's fine.
[Girl 1:] Well, I guess there's no pizza.
Like, what're we gonna eat?
[Girl 3:] Let's eat each other...
out!
[Girl 2:] Taco tuesday!
[Blue:] You blew up my car, man!
[Red:] At least we got pizza!
[Blue:] Ugh, dude! That's made out of blood and napkins!
[Red:] (singing) pizza pizza mo meatsa
banana fana fo
CANNIBALISM
[Dick figures outtro]
