SOCCER IS NOT FOR REAL MEN.
Soccer has made a lot of men swap teams.
What I'll teach you today is polemic but true!
A lot of people will criticize me for this.
Maybe some soccer team's manager will try to banish this out,
but I will say,
because that's why I'm here, to teach and tell you:
"soccer is big trouble."
Look how it works:
you support a team,
maybe Juventus, Corinthians, Palmeiras, 15 of something, I don't know.
And then you ask me if this is normal.
What is the problem if you also play soccer during the weekends?
What is the problem?!
The problem is your naivety,
in your unconsciousness
You don't know nothing!
"You are weak!"
So you think there's nothing wrong when the game is over
and all players, all men,
go together to the dressing room and get naked,
and you don't see nothing wrong?
All together naked in the shower.
Nothing is wrong when a lot of sweating,
athletic men start hugging each other?
Nothing is wrong, is it?!
STOP!
This is the way to suffering.
Of course this is not natural,
it's "unnatural".
And then it get's worse.
It destroys marriages,
destroys families,
destroys friendships,
you want to commit suicide or even become mad,
and what's even worse:
you end up working as a hairdresser.
And do you know how it all begins?
With you sitting in your little sofa...
...watching a little soccer game,...
...having a little beer with your friends,...
and worse:
jumping to celebrate a goal, shrieking, screaming...
and even worse, you want to know?
All with people from the same sex.
STOP.
LOOK.
THINK.
Give up some time.
This is the way that'll take you nowhere.
Because if you are still doing this sort of thing
watching little soccer games
having a little beer with your little friends,
a shriek here, a jump there,
then I don't want to hear you saying that your life is over, did you hear that?
