Dead Ringers: Doctor Who calls Sylvester McCoy

Uploaded by RobTFirefly on 17.11.2009

(telephone ringing)
>> Are you known on Earth by the name "Sylvester McCoy," hmm?
>> Ha-ha, yes, I am!
>> Then it is you! It is you, you are the Doctor!
>> And so are you! Tom, is that you?
>> No no no no no, I too am the Doctor.
>> Ha...
>> You are my future self.
>> Ah, y-yes..
>> You are with me?
>> Ha-ha... yeah, all the way!
>> I am your past regeneration. Not the one before you,
or the one before that, but the one before him. Hmm?
>> Yes, that's.. Tom Baker.
>> Good, good. Listen, Doctor, I am in a most grave situation.
>> Oh, dear. Well, er, yes..
What can I... do for you?
>> Well, as fellow Time Lords, we must unite to solve this point.
Join with me, Doctor!
>> Eh, what in?
>> Isomorphic brain contact. We must establish it, Time Lord to Time Lord.
>> Erm... Are you alright?
>> No! I am in a situation of extreme peril.
I have had to leave my time-stream, go forward to the future,
join you in your time-stream, and have you help me.
>> Have you been in the pub?
>> For several millennia.
>> So I believe.
I don't actually quite understand what you want me to do.
Could you do it, say it in English? I never could understand all that gobbledygook.
>> Well you see, here is the matter on which we two Time Lords must unite.
Can I tell you this problem?
>> Please.
>> Five across. Four letters. "Pork luncheon meat."
"S," blank...
>> Spam.
>> Spam! Spam is the answer.
I have been searching the universe for the answer.
Only by joining forces with my future self, could I find the answer.
You have helped me!
>> I did?
>> Wonderful, wonderful. Doctor! >> Yes?
>> In your regeneration, who did you travel through space and time with?
>> Er, Bonnie Langford.
>> Oh really, she was nice. And Ace, as well! >> Sophie! Sophie Aldred!
>> Oh yes, she was well fit. In my era I had Leela and Romana.
>> Well, I fancied them too. >> Oh, they were tottymungous, weren't they?
>> Ha-ha-ha-ha, yes, they were lovely! >> They were wonderful.
Anyway, listen, I must go. I'm just watching the football, the Universe Cup.
Time Lords versus Jedi, we're three-nil up at half-time.
Wonderful to talk to you, Doctor. It's been very nice to meet me!
>> Yes, and me!
(applause) ("Dead Ringers" musical sting)