Hanging out with Beth at 4pm Eastern! - 8/14/12 (Full Ep)

BETH HOYT: We're doing a summer haul.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
BETH HOYT: Hi, guys.
It's me, Beth.
And it's Tuesday.
And it's 4:00 PM here in New York City.
And most importantly, it's summertime.
It's summertime.
And summer's not going to last forever.
Well, in a decade or two, it might be summer all the time.
But for now, we'll probably head into some sort of winter.
Winter is coming.
Anyways, I think it's time to show you guys some of my
favorite things from the summer.
Please tell me your favorite things.
We'll take a look at those too.
This is a group effort, like this.
This is from you guys, right?
This is from danaob13.
Beth, if you would ever open up a shop,
what would you sell?

I would love to have a little bakery.
Wouldn't everybody?
I want a bakery.
I am everybody.
OK, I want to make cupcakes and sell them to you.
If I sold anything else, I don't know.
I'm not really good at many things.
Oh, gosh, that was a deeper probe than we planned.
Oh, I didn't mean that either.
OK, here, let's just go into my haul.
First thing that you need is a good bag.
Isn't this a great bag?
You need a bag that you can fit in possibly
going to the beach.
Or maybe just like--
I've gone around with just my cell phone and wallet in here.
It feels great.
It feels great to have a bag this big.
It feels very Mary Kate, Ashley Olsen.
It feels good.
On this bag, I get a ton of compliments on.
It's from Forever 21, you guys.
And people think it's not because it looks fancier.
But these are broken, so I've used some army tape to fix
just the broken parts.
It's no big deal.
So I want to go in my bag and show you some things.
But I want to make sure I don't pull anything too
embarrassing.
So give me a minute to--
ooh--
to go through that.
And let's play--
oh, tomorrow, we have a brand new Save the Supers.
So here is something to wet your palate.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
-'Tis a good day for justice.

Hey, what the fuck, man?
BRIAN (OFFSCREEN): I was just look at--
-Hey.
What the--
Brian, What the fuck?
Do I fucking walk in front of your lights?
BRIAN (OFFSCREEN): OK.
-What the fuck?
BRIAN (OFFSCREEN): Night Knight, I'm not trying to--
--Oh yeah.
Da-da da-da da.
Da-da da.
Yeah, you understand?
I'm trying to save the world here.
I'm trying to save the world.
You and me, pal.
We're done professionally.
Done.
We are not stepping foot on this HQ again.
Done.
BRIAN (OFFSCREEN): I absolutely apologize.
-Fucking amateur hour man.
Amateur hour.
Jesus Christ.

[SIGH]
-'Tis a good day for justice.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
BETH HOYT: He's very upset.
OK, let's get into this bag.
I'm going to put it over here.
First thing I'm going to pull out is-- oh,
this is a good one.
This is the Bumble and Bumble product I put in
my hair every day.
When I curl it.
It takes the frizz out.
It's called Big Shine.
Whoa.
Did you guys know that I didn't have to keep it in that
thing this whole time?
Wow, the things you learn on live internet TV.
This is what it looks like.
It's so much lighter.
It's called Big Shine.
And I put it on my hair before I curl it or blow-dry it.
And then it makes it less frizzy.
You don't even know what I look like when I come in here.
I look like a lion.
It smells weird, though.

It's like a shoe store, but citrusy.
I don't know.
It's not bad.
It doesn't last forever.
This is incredible.
I don't even need this.
So we got that.
Ooh, we have a comment.
I've barely even started.
Hannah Phillips, "Random question--
Beth, do you have any pets??
Btw I love you your amazing!" And then this face.
Thank you.
I love you too.
Thank you for joining the chat.
And I don't have any pets.
I mean, I live in a ti--
Oh, I do.
We'll, it's my roommate's.
She has a cat.
And it was a foster cat.
And then it killed a mouse in our apartment.
We were like, maybe we should keep her.
So her name was Goodbye Kitty, because she'd get fostered out
every weekend.
And I don't know why no one kept her.
And then we kept her.
So now her name is Hello Kitty.
But she likes to be outside like a dog.
So every morning, we let her outside.
I don't know what she does out there.
But she's a dog-cat.
I have this.
Let's get it--
this is embarrassing.
If you can't tell, it's a banana that lost its brothers
and sisters.
Here's what I like to do.
I like to save these.
I salvaged this from our studio here, because when they
get brown like this, well, you tell yourself you're going to
make banana bread.
You're not going to make banana bread.
You're not going to do it.
So what you should do is you put--
I cut it up into pieces.
And I put in my freezer, because then when I get home,
I'm always like-- always.
I'm like, I want ice cream.
And I don't often have it.
But if you have frozen banana, you eat a piece of it.
And it's like, that's pretty satisfying.
And I don't hate myself.
So that's a tip right there.
Aww, you guys, my shoes that died.
This shoe is officially--
it's an awesome shoe.
I have very difficult feet to fit.
My left s-- my left shoe-- what's the word, foot?
I am [INAUDIBLE].
My left foot is a size and a half bigger
than my right foot.
So it's very hard.
So I have to get shoes that have straps.
And look at this, it totally died.
If anyone out there knows--
Jeffrey Campbell has these size, a size 11.
That's embarrassing.
It's the truth.
Has these and just wants to sell them to me.
They're not available anymore.
And they've died.
I'm sorry, you guys.
We have another comment, and this is from kaseycarroll123.
"Beth, what do you do when you're sad?" I sob.
Big, big heaving sobs, crocodile tears, doesn't
matter if people are around me or not, in the subway, walking
down the street, feels better in public.
Actually, you get more sympathy.
You feel better.
At home, I do it alone.
But then I like to put on Adele or something and just
have company and really get it out.
It feels like a workout.
And I feel better after.
Sometimes I practice old monologues from when I was in
theater school.
And I'd do Shakespeare and stuff when I'm crying.
And then I'd make myself feel better.
OK, oh, here we go.
How about this?
This is a summer activity that you're going to want.
This is Deadwood Season 1.
So let me show you this.
Whoa.
See this right here?
This was a Saturday night that I avoided my friends.
This was that Sunday morning.
This was Monday night.
This was Tuesday.
Wed-- maybe I took a break on Wedn--
this was Thursday.
So this is a whole week of not seeing anybody, but having a
great time on my own.
Who needs vitamin D when you have a town without law?
So there's that.
Here's another thing in my bag.
So my sister gave this to me a month or two ago when I
visited her.
It's a Starbucks coffee.
And it says "Bring us your empty bag.
We'll give you a free coffee."
So she gave this to me.
I'm sure it was like, here, Beth, go get a free coffee.
So it's been in my bag, making everything smell like coffee
for about a month and a half.
Is that worth the free coffee I may or may
not eventually get?
This is a free giveaway today on the show.
If you contact me, I will mail this to you and
make it your burden.
Here's a comment from YouTube.
And this is from "Gene-Paula-Sepeter." No,
"Gene-Paul-Lace-Peter." There we go.
"Can you at some point-- not right now--
tip/knock over something nonchalantly, during mid
conversation.
thanking you--
or someone?
maybe?" Wow, that's a lot to take in.
I get it all until the-- can I see it one more time?-- until
the "thanking you." So like, if I'm giving an acceptance
speech later on, "thanking you--
or someone?" Maybe she's thanking me.
Listen, we'll get there.
Not right now, she says, or he.
Not right now.
Let's look more at my bag.
Oh, here's another product.
This is a sunless tanner for if you're spending a week,
say, indoors and you don't want to necessarily have
everyone know that.
And you're going to wedding and you look at in the mirror
and you're like, eww those are my legs?
You put this on.
But this is what I learned.
Someone said you need to exfoliate first.
It's true, because if you don't you just get clumps of
orange, especially around the knee area.
And that is way worse than just having white legs.
But if you are going to do that, I did once.
Then I dry-brushed my legs.
I felt like a cat doing that.
But if you dry-brush your skin and then you put this on, it
goes on a lot smoother.
And I don't know where I bought--
this was from, I think, a food store I bought this.
It was on sale.
I thought, why not?
Here's another comment.
This is from Mansiotey.
"When's the new Daddy Knows Best?
You got me hooked and then took it away like a crack
dealer--" Oh my gosh.
You know what?
We do have something I do want to tell you--
Oh, gosh.
Thank you.

Lobster.
Oh, whoops.
Anyway, so we hear you about Daddy Knows Best.
We love Daddy Knows Best too.
And in honor of Shark Week, which is this week, here's
Shark Tank.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
-Jackson, look at daddy.
Here comes the shark.
Ooh, it's going to be so scary.
Oh, I'm getting nothing here.
You're going to get single-digit
views with this thing.
Can you act a little happy?
This is our dream.
These are dangerous, dangerous mammals.
Damn it.
You're a big boy.
No, no, Jackson.
Don't look him in the eyes, all right?
It's a sign of aggression.
Here comes the shark.
-Whoa, whoa.
What's going on?
Why is there a dog crate in our living room?
Why is he in the cage?
-What?
Wait, one question at a time.
First of all, I want to tell you how beautiful you look.
-Thank you.
Yeah, well, what's going on?
Can you answer the question?
Why is he in the cage?
-You mean, this?
-Yeah, you have this huge thing in our living room.
-This is what I call some good old-fashioned discipline, just
like my dad used to do to me.
-Your father used to put you in a dog crate?
-When I needed it.
I was a rambunctious kid.
-Wow, really?
-Mm-hm.
And this helped me out.
-Wow, look at you now.
-Yeah, look how normal I am.
-What is this?
-That's not even--
-What's is this?
-That's, like, a piece of paper with some--
-But it's-- it's a receipt for a harpoon.
What do you need a harpoon for, Steve?
-I'm thinking about, you know, spicing things up in the
boudoir.
-Oh, really?
Oh, we're going to get dirty with a harpoon now?
-Get things a little dirty, a little nasty.
It'll be bloody.
-So you're gonna--
OK, I'm not an idiot, Steve, OK?
I get it.
I get what this is.
This is like your YouTube thing.
-Stop it right there.
You stop it.
I promised you no more YouTube.
-No, I told--
I completely trust you.
I do.
I just--
I'm just gonna take a look.
-That's not even your business.
-Oh, look at this.
Confirmation to go swimming with sharks for
Jackson and for Steve.
You're crazy.
He's a child.
-Jackson could be the first child to
swim with great whites.
Do you understand?
He'll be a YouTube sensation.
-No, no.
-It's amazing.
-My kid's not swimming with a shark because of
your YouTube fantasy.
-No.
-It's not gonna happen.
-It's got nothing to do with me, all right?
I do everything I do in life for my son.
Every morning, we wake up and we watch Matt Lauer on Good
Morning America.
It's our favorite show.
And he has those kids that come on.
And they're on YouTube.
And it just breaks Jack's little heart.
He wants to be famous.
He's talented.
He can do things.
-Those kids aren't actors.
Those are just moments.
They just happen.
Their parents just catch it.
-Stop being so damn naive, babe, all right?
I can't believe I let you talk me into anal.
Listen to me.
Charlie, that one you love, the one with the kid.
Mom, I bit my finger.
-Finger.
I love that video.
-You know what?
What they don't tell you about that one is, that guy is a
31-year-old man with testicles.
-OK, yeah.
-A fully grown--
-No.
--man.
-He's not.
No, he's not.
-He's a dwarf.
He's got Gary Coleman disease.
-No, he's not.
-Yes.
-Steve, you put my kid in a shark again, I'm leaving you.
-Oh, is that a threat?
-Come on.
-He likes it in there.
-No, no, he doesn't.
Come on.
Let's go.
I will.
-It's a shark cage, if you knew anything, not a tank.
-Oh, hey, honey, it looks like you have a little bit of jizz,
just right on your nose.
If you want to just [INAUDIBLE].
-It's not jism.
It's zinc.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
BETH HOYT: Back to the haul, OK.
I got these sunglasses one day when I forgot to bring
sunglasses.
And it was like-- you know, because it
was cloudy, I'm sure.
And then it was sunny.
And I was like, what do I do?
And this guy was like, here's a pair of sunglasses that are
cheap and I'm going to sell you them for probably more
than-- way more than they should.
And I was like, sold.
And aren't they cool?
Anyway, they're also-- they have a cheek--
um, I have big cheeks.
And you need to make sure that they don't
hit the rim too much.
And I'm pretty safe.
I got some safe room for cheekage.
So I can smile without the dents, which is important.
Oh, this is a great buy.
This was a great purchase on my behalf.
This book, it's a history.
It's about Catherine the Great.
So it's a very historical documentation.
And it is about 20 pounds.
Great, great buy for me.
I've probably read three pages.
But there's probably been a least three or four people who
have seen this book in my bag or somewhere when I've been
holding it, because I've carried it around a lot.
So maybe it's burned some calories for me.
But also, there's a few people out there who think higher of
me because they saw this.
So that's worth it.
That's worth it.
Here's a comment.
This is from thedamnedking222.
"Oh my god!
It's my first time watching LIVE!
So excited" That's fantastic.
That's so cool.
Welcome.
It's not every day that people just come on that
are new to the show.
So that's very cool.
And welcome.
OK, next comment from YouTube.
It's from tisizlay.
"beth, you should post more on your instagram!" I know.
I find it very difficult, because it takes so long open
that app on my phone.
I should do it right now live.
And then that's what--
maybe are you saying that?
Let's do that.
How about I take a picture of my haul.
Ooh, let's see what's next.
Oh, I know what I want to show you guys.
I'm going to make these for you.
I'm gonna Instagram this.
Well, OK, so how about I do a picture of myself?
This is why I don't do it, because I look like a schmuck.
Is that a thing?
OK, I'm going to title it "Schmuck" and
put it up right now.
Schmuck.
See, is this is not taking a while?
Share.
I'm doing it.
OK, that's happening.
In the meantime, you guys, I had a cocktail last night that
had-- well, I love gin martinis in the summer.
And the winter.
Who am I kidding?
And I also like them with olives.
And last night I had them with cheese and
anchovy-stuffed olives.
So I got some of that today when I was picking up
my salad for lunch.
And let's do that right now.
So you take the cheese.
And they just put it--
I saw the guy do it with his fingers--
and just put it in there.
You just shove it right on in there.
All right, and then you take the anchovy and you
wrap it around it.
And it made the gin taste different.
So, oh no, party foul.
So that happened.
So, well, what are the instructions for if you pull
off the tab?

Anchovies, come out for me.
Now I just smell really fishy and cheesy and olivey.
Let's cover that up.

Now it's like a fishing dock, like a shoe store
on a fishing dock.
Well, that failed.
Here's a comment from YouTube.
Danielle Marie, "tomorrow you should have someone dressed as
a shark" That is a very good tip.
And I'm going to tell you what, Danielle Marie.
I guarantee you that if we can find a
shark costume by tomorrow--
sorry, props.
Sorry, Nate.
Did you have plans tonight?
Because now you have plans.
If Nate doesn't disappoint, as he might, then we're going to
have someone in a shark costume tomorrow.
But I think he is signing a lease for a new apartment.
And you're going to have to maybe give up that apartment
to find the shark costume.
Sorry.
All right, let's see what else we have.
Oh, you guys, this is the best sleep mask ever.
Do you wear a sleep mask?
If you don't--
I mean, you might be like, I don't want to cover my eyes
when I'm sleeping.
But it is so good.
There's like--
Ambien is in here, going into my eyes, into my brain.
I have the best dreams.
And I sleep all night long with this thing.
As soon as I put it on, I fall asleep.
I wore this on a plane once, and I was out the entire time.
There is zero light that gets in, because there's this pad
that goes under, right above.
So you put this on.
I'm, like, out.
It's like as soon as I--

Oh my God.
Whoa.
Nate, what are you doing?
Stop touching me.
Wow, where were we?
OK, wow, that was a hard nap.
Oh, here's one more thing.
Well, let's look at a comment.
Then I want to show you these.
This is from setuxxx.
"If you could be any element (Fire, Water, Earth, Air),
which would you be and why?" I think I'm a Gemini, and I
think that's water.
Is that right?
I think that sounds about right.
I flow around and don't really know what's happening.
I could use some earth.
I could probably use some grounding.
I could use some earth.
I think I'd like to have a little bit more of that,
because I'm just floating around, which is fine and fun.
Here's a summer thing.
So I found this.
This is my favorite lipstick.
And it is from Peter Longo--
Vincent Longo.
It's his brother.
Anyway, this one's called Groove.
And it melted.
So it's gone.
But it was good.
So it's nude.
Oh, it's totally not there anymore.
Anyway, this was nude and it was great.
But it's gone.
So then I bought this one, which is a cheap one because
this one's nude.
And I was like, maybe this will be just as good.
And it's not.
It's nude.
It's pink, right?
It's like a Popsicle.
It looks like a lollipop, right?
Then I was like, forget the light colors.
That just blends into my skin anyway.
I don't need that.
So then I stole this from my mom, because it
looked really dark.
See, this has probably been around.
Can't you just picture this in my mom's purse in the 1980s?
This is probably older than me, definitely older than you.
All right, so anyway I stole this from her.
She didn't mind.
And this was not good either, because it's fluorescent pink.
And it does that thing when you wear it for a while, and
there's just the outer ring.
It looks like you've obviously been sipping a Diet Coke and
all of the color's gone from the middle like this.
So it was just gone in the middle.
And there's just the ring on the outside.
And it doesn't come off ever.
It does not come off because it's so old and
cheap that it is like--
I mean, you wake up the next day and you have
it around your lips.
I went back to Vincent Longo, got this one.
And it is called Fancy.
I was like, that's me.
I'm a fancy girl.
And it's purple, which was a surprise, I will admit.
And it was pricey, OK?
It's really good and smooth.
But again, this one's also melting.
But I was like, maybe this will be a good
new color for me.

I'm getting funky.
Look at my nails.
And then I put this one on.
And I was like, maybe this will be--
it feels good on my chapped lips.
It's really smooth.

This is like a ChapStick.

You should get a Vincent Longo lipstick
because it is so smooth.
So I don't know if this is a good color for me, but it
feels like Blistex, like the new Blistex
that's really smooth.
What's it called?
Like, silky.
That's what this feels like.
Here's a comment.
This is from JustThatAmazingx.
"Whats your favorite song right now!" [GASPS]
And then this face, which is like--
Was that an upside-down mustache?
Eyes and the-- no.
Gosh, how do you do that?
Oh, what is it, Nate?
NATE: Cheeks.
BETH HOYT: Cheeks.
How's that?
Oh, I get it.
Oh, are you making fun of my cheeks?
Because I have them.
Also, want to see this face?
That's Nurse Trisha.
What's happening?
OK, so what am I doing?
Oh, my favorite song.
I just got the Frank Ocean album.
And I really love it.
And I really like the song called "Forrest Gump." That's
a true thing?
Yes, Frank Ocean's new song "Forrest Gump," I really like
that album.
And I had a really enjoyable time listening to that last
night on the subway across the Manhattan Bridge.
And I was looking at New York, and that song
played, and it all--
I had just had that martini with the olives.
And it all came together for me.
So that's definitely it.
Here's a comment from YouTube.
Tedyiovchev3--
let me see that.
"Ted-yo'v-chev3." "Make a Troll Face,
Beth." Is that right?
Is that what they look like?
I hope I shaved my armpits.
I don't know if I did.
I'm not going to look.
We're just going to--
Anyway, next.
Is that a troll face?
They do that, right?
What do their faces look like?
Are they just smiling?

I think that's it.
That's not a comment.
That's a wrap sign.
That's the show for today, you guys.
Continue to enjoy your summer things while
we still have summer.
Be sure to tune in tomorrow, because my friend
Trish will be here.
And we will be breaking records with Dan Rollman from
RecordSetter.
It's going to be awesome.
And on Thursday, have you heard?
Tommy Pom is hosting.
I'll be here too.
But seriously, who cares if I'm here?
Look at this.
He's going to be hosting the show.
It's a dog.
A dog is hosting the show.
[SCREAM]
He's so cute.
Oh my gosh.
I'm going to squeeze him.
I'm going to squeeze him.
And he's going to be here.
Oh my God.
Oh, jeez.
Stop it.
Oh, just stop.
Oh, look at him on the computer, and he's so furry
and he's tiny.
Aw, look at his little face.
His face is this big.
OK, he's going to be here.
Subscribe, for the love of God, so you don't miss that.
And I'll see you tomorrow.
[MUSIC PLAYING]