Brian Blames You

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
You probably thought I was going to start singing a
parody of Chocolate Rain, right?
Why not?
I mean everybody else has done it, so why not me?
I'll tell you why.
Because Chocolate Rain is killing us all.
All that sub-mediocre tripe out there is like mental
cholesterol, clogging our synapses and keeping us from
any original thought.
OK, you could turn that music off now.
I don't blame the guy who posted it.
I blame everyone who's ever watched it, anyone who's
responded to it. everyone whose made their own video
glorifying it.
It's like a fucking traffic accident on the freeway.
If everyone didn't turn their head to look, we'd all get
home a lot faster.
Could you please turn that music off?
It's just one indication of where this country's going.
Our culture's become nothing more than a nonstop stream of
remakes and sequels.
I mean look at Hollywood.
Look at Broadway.
Look in your bookstores.
Either people have become too lazy to produce something
original or audiences have just become too
lazy to watch it.
Turn the fucking music off!
It's all capitalism at its finest.
Go for the quick buck with content people can recognize
rather than take a risk on something fresh that might
actually raise the public consciousness by a degree.
Screw art.
Pay me.
Right?
Well I can only hope the market will correct itself
before we actually become the cultural wasteland the rest of
world already thinks we are.
Some day a real chocolate rain will come and wash all the
scum off the web.
All right, fuck.
(SINGING) Chocolate rain.
Some stay dry and others feel the pain.
I can't not sing that fucking song.
Jesus!
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]