A Traumatic Lunch (1.19.11 #50)


Uploaded by DividedAsOne on 26.01.2011

Transcript:
» BRUNO: Remember yesterday when I moved their trash can onto their own property?
I don’t know why these are on ‹our› side of the property
’cause they’re not ours.
These can go on ‹your› side of the property ’cause they’re ‹yours›.
Well, now it’s not only back on our side, but it’s now in our plants.
Hello.
Their driveway’s no good?
» MAN: That’s close. » BRUNO: Oh, too close.
Now you know how the Christmas lights keep falling and the hose keeps getting all…
» ♪ ♫
» [Horn beeps]
» BRUNO: There better be a spot.
Okay, maybe there is.
It’s Beeps time. Oy.
» It’s time to get the stitches out of my chin, so I’m leaving work early.
» Mia was first, and then she didn’t know what we wanted on the sub, so she came to ask me,
and then one, two, three, four, five, six, seven people just walked in.
Eleven minutes. Thirteen minutes.
» Can I get a… root beer float, please?
» BRUNO: Fourteen minutes.
What’s the deal with people who don’t understand personal space?
» These people would not give me an inch.
They were making out, like, right in my ear. » BRUNO: I know.
» Her perfume was killing me, too.
No, no, I can’t breathe that perfume all throughout my lunch.
I’ve had about enough of them. » [Traffic noise]
» BRUNO: So we’ll just listen to the trucks and motorcycles out here.
» Better than smelling ‹her›. » [Bruno laughs]
» And they were ‹still› hanging on top of the booth, so they’re still violating my personal space.
» [Brakes squeal, motorcycle engine]
» BRUNO: You’re not loving the street noise?
» Well, we’ll just sit where they aren’t, which works ’cause there’s somebody is sitting where we were. » [Siren]
» BRUNO: Is that us? » WOMAN: Are you Mia? » MIA: Yeah.
» You had the chicken fries and a ham? » MIA: That’s right.
I’m not sitting here. » BRUNO: Oh, Mia. » MIA: It’s blinding.
» BRUNO: I’ll sit by you.
» MIA (Laughing:) This has actually been kind of a traumatic experience
just trying to find a place to sit.
» So pretty much, after Mia waited for 15 minutes to place her order, nobody’s come since then.
Just that one random mad rush of people.
» Okay, so now I’m here.
The thing is, that bus comes once an hour, so I’m 30 minutes early,
so where should I have lunch?
» BRUNO: Doesn’t ‹anybody› work? Seriously?
» MIA: Not when it’s nice out.
» BRUNO: [Laughs] You would think this was a weekend.
My diet starts now.
We used to come down here with big trash bags
and those extendable clampy things that I use to pick up all of our neighbors’ trash,
and we cleaned up all the trash.
You can’t believe how many diapers we picked up.
Ugh.
Man, that’s gross.
How upsetting is ‹that›?
» MIA: Well, so that’s what happens when the garbage gets dumped in this water.
The water rises, and then all the garbage gets stuck in the trees and bushes.
» BRUNO: Oh, these people.
» ♪ [Relaxing music] ♫
» BRUNO: What do you have to say about stealing my swing, Mia?
» MIA: It’s a Pretty good swing.
» That’s ‹my› swing, and she knows it.
‹Trying› to get some exercise.
» ♪ [Pop music] ♫
» [Bruno chuckling]
» MIA: Uh-oh.
» BRUNO: Something psychotic is happening.
» WOMAN: Hello. » JERRY: Hi.
» Jerry’s having his stitches removed.
» Snooki, wearing one gallon of perfume, just coughed right in our faces.
Jerry! » Where’s my stuff?
» BRUNO: Oh, I sold it to Snooki over there.
The one glaring at us—that’s Snooki. She coughed in our face.
» Oh. » BRUNO: The one who’s still glaring at us.
» JERRY: It look okay? » BRUNO: Let me see.
Yeah, it just looks like you got a cut.
I wouldn’t have known that your face was hanging off.
You— [Laughs] (Laughing:) Look, Jerry’s kind of got like a goatee!
Like…Huh. » MIA: Jerry’s not allowed to shave that area.
» JERRY: Yeah. » BRUNO: I know! It’s interesting.
It doesn’t look bad, actually. Whoop! Still glaring! Snooki is still glaring.
I may have cut that off. Jerry said,
even though he filled out the form for 30 minutes, they still re-asked all the questions.
» JERRY: Not ‹all› of them, but a lot of them.
» Not ‹all› of them, but a lot of them.
» Took my weight, my height, my blood pressure, my temperature.
I was beginning to wonder if they knew that the reason that I was there
was to get the stitches out. » [Bruno and Mia laugh]
» BRUNO: I’m trying to make dinner, and Schmutzie caught a lizard. No!
Is he dead or ‹playing› dead?
Ohh, Schmutzie!
Schmutzie, drop. Drop Mr. Lizard!
No!
By some miracle, Mr. Lizard survived, and he’s going outside.
There’s Mr. Lizard’s tail, which is still living.
Schmutzie can eat that.
Good boy, Schmutzie.
See? I’m on my diet. Vegetables.
Good night, little Mia, Mittens, Schmutzie, and Moochie.
Hey, I said good night. » Good night.
» BRUNO: Mr. Mittens, don’t be a squirmy cat.
Say good night to YouTube.
Mr. Mittens.
Ask YouTube why nobody will adopt you.
Go on, ask them.
You’re so pretty.