You're Whole: Finger Puppets / Saxophone / Fish Tank

>> BILLS, BILLS, BILLS!
AND NOW THE CAR NEEDS A TUNE-UP?
I DON'T KNOW HOW WE'RE EVER
GOING TO GET OUT OF THIS MESS!
>> I'M ALREADY WORKING TWO JOBS.
>> AND I'M CARRYING A SURROGATE
BABY!
>> I FEEL HELPLESS.
>> I'M SO STRESSED OUT.
>> I WISH I HAD A FINGER PUPPET.
>> I WISH I COULD PLAY THE
SAXOPHONE.
>> I WISH I FELT...WHOLE.

>> Mandersohn: IT'S AN
INCREASINGLY COMMON SCENE ALL
OVER AMERICA.
"WHAT DO WE DO?"
"HOW DO WE FILL THIS...
EMPTINESS?"
I'M RANDALL TYREE MANDERSOHN
AUTHOR, WRITER, LECTURER, PUBLIC
SPEAKER, ORATOR, WARRIOR-POET,
PHOTOGRAPHER OF ARTISTIC FEMALE
NUDES.
I CAN DO 25 PUSH-UPS IN A ROW OR
TWO SETS OF 15.
I CAN DO ANYTHING.
AND GUESS WHAT?
I'M TOTALLY BLIND.

I'M WHOLE.
YOU'RE WHOLE.
[ INSPIRATIONAL MUSIC PLAYS ]
[ LIGHT APPLAUSE ]

WELCOME TO "YOU'RE WHOLE," THE
EASIEST, MOST ECONOMICAL WAY TO
SOLVE YOUR PROBLEMS AND TAKE
YOUR LIFE TO THE NEXT LEVEL.
I'M RANDALL TYREE MANDERSOHN,
AND I'M SO EXCITED TO SHARE
WITH YOU MY LIFE'S WORK, A
27 DVD COLLECTION THAT WILL HAVE
YOU THINKING HARD, SWEATING
MORE, AND GETTING IT.
TODAY, WE'RE GONNA START WITH
DVD NUMBER 2: "FINGER PUPPETS."
FINGER PUPPETS ARE A GREAT WAY
TO SPEAK YOUR MIND WITH YOUR
FINGERS.
I'VE GOT A FRIEND NAMED JENNY
WHO TAUGHT ME HOW TO FINGER, AND
NOW SHE'S GONNA TEACH YOU.

HI, JENNY.
>> RANDALL, YOU'RE RUDE.
>> Mandersohn: AM I?
>> YES.
YOU SAID HI TO ME, BUT YOU
FORGOT TO SAY HELLO TO NELLIE.
>> Mandersohn: [ CHUCKLES ]
>> [ Deep voice ] HEY, RANDALL.
>> Mandersohn: HEY, NELLIE.
>> I GUESS "HEY" REALLY IS FOR
HORSES, HUH?
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
>> Mandersohn: THAT'S AMAZING!
IT'S LIKE I'M ACTUALLY TALKING
TO NELLIE!
>> [ Normal voice ] FINGER
PUPPETS HELP US SAY THE THINGS
WE DON'T ALWAYS HAVE THE WORDS
FOR.
[ Deep voice ] HEY, RANDALL, YOU
LOOK LIKE YOU PUT ON A LITTLE
WEIGHT.
>> Mandersohn: [ CHUCKLES
SLIGHTLY ]
>> MUST BE ALL THOSE DOLLAR
BUFFETS YOU'RE BUYING WITH THAT
$25,000-A-YEAR PAYCHECK OF
YOURS.
[ CHUCKLES ]
I BET YOU DON'T HAVE ANY
FRIENDS.
[ LAUGHS ]
[ Normal voice ] I'M SORRY.
NELLIE REALLY MAKES ME LAUGH.
>> Mandersohn: ME, TOO.
THAT WAS GREAT.
NOW I'D LIKE TO DO SOME FINGER
PUPPET ROLE PLAYING WITH A
MEMBER OF OUR STUDIO AUDIENCE.
HOW ABOUT YOU?
I WANT YOU TO THINK ABOUT A
SITUATION THAT MIGHT BE KIND OF
DIFFICULT TO TALK ABOUT.
>> ASKING FOR A RAISE?
>> Mandersohn: ASKING FOR A
RAISE.
WHAT DO WE THINK, AUDIENCE?
SO, FOR THIS SCENARIO, LET'S
PRETEND THAT I'M YOUR BOSS, AND
YOU'RE GONNA WALK INTO MY OFFICE
AND ASK FOR A RAISE.
SO I'M JUST GONNA SIT HERE IN
THIS CHAIR AND PRETEND THAT I'M
[ Deep voice ] THE BIG BOSS.
[ CHUCKLES ]
WILLIAM, YOU WANTED TO SEE ME?
>> YES, SIR. I JUST
>> Mandersohn: [ MUTTERS
MOCKINGLY ]
>> YES, SIR. I
>> Mandersohn: [ BABBLES ]
I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS.
YOU'RE FIRED.
NO! WILLIAM.
WILLIAM, IT'S OKAY.
WE WERE JUST ROLE PLAYING.
[ CHUCKLES ]
YOU'RE NOT REALLY FIRED.
I WANT TO TRY THAT SCENARIO
AGAIN BUT IN A SLIGHTLY
DIFFERENT WAY.
WILLIAM, YOU WANTED TO SEE ME?
>> YES, SIR.
MY FRIEND RICKY THE ZEBRA HAS A
QUESTION FOR YOU.
[ High-pitched ] WILLIAM HAS
BEEN WORKING REAL HARD.
I THINK HE DESERVES A RAISE!

>> Mandersohn: WILLIAM,
ORDINARILY, I'D TELL YOU TO GO
STICK IT IN YOUR EYE.
BUT I ADMIRE YOUR CREATIVITY.
YOU'VE GOT THAT RAISE, AND A NEW
PARKING SPOT RIGHT NEXT TO
MINE.
WAY TO GO, WILLIAM. GREAT JOB.
GO HAVE A SEAT.
LEAVE THE PUPPET.
DO YOU SEE WHAT A LITTLE
IMAGINATION AND A TOUCH OF
WHIMSY CAN DO?
A LOT.
WHEN "YOU'RE WHOLE" RETURNS,
I'M GONNA TEACH YOU SOME THINGS
ABOUT THE SAXOPHONE THAT WILL
BLOW YOUR MIND.

>> HEY, BOB.
>> HI, DAN.
>> EVERYTHING OKAY?
>> OH, I GUESS I'M A LITTLE
HOMESICK FOR EARTH.
>> Mandersohn: HI, GUYS.
>> RANDALL TYREE MANDERSOHN.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
>> Mandersohn: BOB, I HEARD
YOU WERE FEELING DEPRESSED, AND
I WANTED TO BRING YOU THIS.
>> THANKS, RANDALL.

"YOU'RE WHOLE" REALLY HELPED ME
OUT.
NOW IF I COULD JUST FIGURE OUT
HOW HE MATERIALIZES LIKE THAT.
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
>> Mandersohn: [ LAUGHS ]

[ SOFT JAZZ PLAYING ]

MM.
THEY SAY MUSIC SOOTHES THE
SAVAGE SOUL.
BUT IT ALSO SOOTHES THE SAVAGE
WHOLE YOUR WHOLE.
NOW WE'RE GONNA FOCUS ON ONE OF
MY FAVORITE DVDs IN THE
"YOU'RE WHOLE" SYSTEM.
IT'S DVD 16 "SAXOPHONE.

JOINING ME NOW IS "YOU'RE WHOLE"
GRADUATE AND SAX LEGEND
BLISS WASHINGTON.
THANKS FOR BEING HERE, BLISS.
>> THANK YOU, RANDALL.
>> Mandersohn: THANK ME?
BUT WHY?
>> WELL, RANDALL, TWO YEARS AGO,
I WAS WORKING IN A CELLPHONE
STORE.
I WAS 100 POUNDS OVERWEIGHT, AND
I COULDN'T PLAY A MUSICAL
INSTRUMENT.
THEN I PURCHASED THE
"YOU'RE WHOLE" SYSTEM, AND NOW
I'M ONE OF TOP JAZZ SAXOPHONISTS
IN THE WORLD.
AND I'VE NEVER LOOKED OR SOUNDED
BETTER.
>> Mandersohn: WOW.
WILL YOU PLAY SOMETHING FOR US?
>> UH, THAT'S OKAY.
>> Mandersohn: GREAT.
THAT BLACK GUY WAS DYNAMITE.
NOW, I CAN'T TEACH YOU ALL TO
PLAY THE SAXOPHONE RIGHT NOW,
BUT I CAN GIVE YOU THE FIRST
LESSON.
WOULD YOU LIKE THAT?
THE FIRST LESSON IS CALLED
"RHYTHM."
WHAT'S RHYTHM?
RHYTHM IS THE BEAT.
LISTEN.
YOU HEAR THAT?
THAT'S RHYTHM.
ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR.
SNAP ALONG WITH ME.
TWO, THREE, FOUR.
YOU GOT IT.
ONE, TWO, THREE.
THAT'S JAZZ.
THAT COMES FROM THE SOUL.
[ SCATTING ]
TWO, THREE.
NOW YOU'RE GETTING IT!
[ CONTINUES SCATTING ]

CHANGE IT UP!
ONE, TWO IN LAZY CIRCLES.
AND ONE, TWO, DOWN ON THE BAYOU.
ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR.
OLD McDONALD HAD A FARM.
E-I-E-I-O.
[ LAUGHTER ]

THAT'S RHYTHM, YOU GUYS.
THAT'S RHYTHM.
AND REMEMBER, I'M TOTALLY BLIND.

YEAH?
>> RANDALL, HOW LONG WILL IT
TAKE BEFORE I CAN PLAY THE SAX?
>> Mandersohn: HOW DOES
10 MINUTES SOUND?
>> 10 MINUTES?
>> Mandersohn: WHEN WE RETURN,
YOU'LL SEE THE RESULTS OF OUR
10-MINUTE SAX LESSON.
[ CHUCKLES ]
[ SCATTING ]

>> HEY, MOM?
CAN YOU CUT MY TOMATO INTO A
STAR SHAPE?
>> SURE, SWEETIE.

>> TIRED OF TRYING TO CUT TOMATO
SLICES INTO STAR SHAPES?
RANDALL TYREE MANDERSOHN HAS
SOLVED THE PROBLEM ONCE AND FOR
ALL WITH THE STARMATO!
THE STARMATO MAKES PERFECT
STAR-SHAPED TOMATO SLICES EVERY
TIME.
>> THANKS, STARMATO.
AND THANK YOU, RANDALL.

>> Mandersohn: WE'RE BACK.
TIM AND I JUST FINISHED OUR
FIRST 10-MINUTE SAXOPHONE
LESSON, AND THEN HE PLAYED AN
IMPROMPTU JAZZ CONCERT.
DIDN'T HE SOUND GREAT?
NOW FOR THE MOST IMPORTANT PART.
TIM, STEP ON THE SCALE.

AND LOOK AT THAT.
YOU'VE ALSO LOST 3 POUNDS!
[ LAUGHS ]
HAVE A SEAT, AND KEEP THE SAX.
[ AUDIENCE GASPS ]
WE'VE HAD A LOT OF FUN HERE
TODAY SO FAR, FINGERING PUPPETS
AND SAXOPHONES.
BUT I'VE SAVED THE BEST FOR
LAST.
IT'S DVD 22 "FISH TANK."

IN THIS DVD, I'LL TEACH YOU ALL
ABOUT THIS INCREDIBLE AQUATIC
KINGDOM, FROM CHOOSING THE RIGHT
FISH TO CHOOSING THE RIGHT TANK.
LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT A CLIP.
HEY, LOOK OVER THERE.
IT'S FAMOUS ACTOR AND
"YOU'RE WHOLE" GRADUATE
DONNY VAN CLEEF.
>> HI, RANDALL.
>> Mandersohn: DONNY, YOU'RE SO
GOOD ON THAT SHOW YOU'RE ON.
>> I HAVE YOU TO THANK FOR THAT.
>> Mandersohn: ME?
>> I STRUGGLED FOR YEARS BEFORE
MAKING IT AS A HOLLYWOOD ACTOR.
I WAS AT MY ROPE'S END.
JUST BEFORE GETTING BACK ON THE
BUS TO MISSOURI, I SAW A
COMMERCIAL FOR THE
"YOU'RE WHOLE" PROGRAM.
NOW I'M FAMOUS!
>> Mandersohn: WHAT AN INSPIRING
STORY.
SO THERE YOU HAVE IT, GUYS.
FINGER PUPPETS, SAXOPHONE, FISH
TANK.
JUST 3 OF THE 27 DVDS YOU'LL GET
WHEN YOU ORDER THE
"YOU'RE WHOLE" COLLECTION.
SIMILAR SYSTEMS SELL FOR
THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS.
BUT YOU CAN GET "YOU'RE WHOLE"
FOR JUST THREE PAYMENTS OF
$29.99.
>> THAT'S AN INCREDIBLE DEAL!
>> CAN YOU AFFORD TO SELL YOUR
LIFE'S WORK AT THAT PRICE,
RANDALL?
>> Mandersohn: MAYBE NOT.
BUT MY JOB ISN'T TO MAKE MONEY.
MY JOB IS TO FILL YOUR HOLE WITH
"YOU'RE WHOLE."
AND I'LL ALSO INCLUDE THE
STARMATO.
AND I'M TOTALLY BLIND.
THANK YOU.
IT'S ASTRONAUT BOB!
>> I JUST WANTED TO LET EVERYONE
KNOW THAT "YOU'RE WHOLE" IS OUT
OF THIS WORLD!
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> THANKS, BOB!
[ LAUGHTER CONTINUES ]

[ SOFT JAZZ PLAYING ]