Wainy Days #2 'The Date' (Elizabeth Banks)


Uploaded by MyDamnChannel on Aug 7, 2007

Transcript:

SHELLEY: Let's just get together, tomorrow.
DAVID WAIN: OK, let's do it!
SHELLEY: Yeah?
DAVID WAIN: Great.
SHELLEY: Wow.

WAITER: Hey.
What can I get you folks?
SHELLEY: I'll have a Corona.
DAVID WAIN: I'll have a chocolate martini.
WAITER: Okey-doke.
DAVID WAIN: Do you have sugar free chocolate liquor?
WAITER: Um, I'll ask.
DAVID WAIN: If they have it, you know, use it.
WAITER: OK.
DAVID WAIN: Just trying not to do carbs.
SHELLEY: Why don't you just do me.
DAVID WAIN: Shelley, wow.
Shelley, where are you from, originally?
SHELLEY: I grew up in Woodstock.
DAVID WAIN: Oh, Woodstock, huh?
Th-- the Woodstock festival?
SHELLEY: Yeah.
DAVID WAIN (CHUCKLING): Like what, Jimi Hendrix, is that
what it is?
SHELLEY (CHUCKLING): Yeah.
DAVID WAIN (CHUCKLING): Is it-- is it,
what about Janis Joplin?
[LAUGHING]
Joan Baez, The Who, Sha Na Na, is that who was there?
[LAUGHING]
DAVID WAIN: Crosby, Stills and Nash, Santana?
[LAUGHING]
DAVID WAIN: Richie Havens, Jefferson Airplane, the
Creedence Clearwater Revival, is that--
SHELLEY: Wow, you know a lot of bands.
DAVID WAIN: Ravi Shankar, wh-- what-- was it, Sly and the
Family Stone, is it--
you know, when I was a kid, I always thought it was a mark
of sophistication to have a full martini just hidden,
like, right here in your breast pocket--
SHELLEY: Yeah?
DAVID WAIN: --and then you pull it out, like, you know,
you're just a real--
oh, God.
SHELLEY: Oh.
WAITER: Oh!
That's OK.
That's all right.
I'll get you another one.
DAVID WAIN: I'm sorry.
SHELLEY: Don't you worry.
You look better wet.
DAVID WAIN: Shelley, uh, what is going on here?
SHELLEY: David, I don't hang out with just anyone.
DAVID WAIN: I don't either.
SHELLEY: I really felt something here, and--
DAVID WAIN: Me too.
SHELLEY: I'm willing to give this a try.
Oh my god.
DAVID WAIN: What's the matter?
SHELLEY: Don't look.
DAVID WAIN: Wha--
SHELLEY: It's Barney, he's here.
Don't look.
DAVID WAIN: Barney?
SHELLEY: Yes.
DAVID WAIN: What, are you not on good terms with him?
SHELLEY: Are you kidding me?
I was hoping I'd never see that lying anal rag again.
Don't look.
DAVID WAIN: Do-- should we just go somewhere else?
SHELLEY: No.
I'm not going to let him control my life.
Let's just keep having a good time.
So, David.
Where are you from, originally?
DAVID WAIN: Shaker Heights.
But it's not what you think.
My high school was half black.
SHELLEY: Oh god, he just saw me.
DAVID WAIN: Do you want me to go beat him up?
SHELLEY: No.
I want to keep having a really good time, and pretend like he
hasn't affected me at all.
BARNEY: Shelley.
SHELLEY: Hi.
BARNEY: Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm.
SHELLEY: Hello.
BARNEY: Who is this balding doppelganger?
DAVID WAIN: I think you're using that word
incorrectly, but--
SHELLEY: His name is David.
DAVID WAIN: Nice to meet you.
Where are you from, originally?
BARNEY: Barren Creek, you've never heard of it.
DAVID WAIN: Oh, so I guess I've never heard of the Barren
Creek Rodeo, with Gelder the baby dog?
BARNEY: I stand corrected.
Touche.
Well I'll leave you two alone.
SHELLEY: No, no, Barney, why don't you join us?
We can be civilized adults.
BARNEY: OK.
SHELLEY: So how've you been?
BARNEY: In repair mode.
My soul was wounded, but I march onward.
Never looking back, only fighting for the future.
SHELLEY: That is so cool.
WAITER: OK, there we go.
And I'm sorry, but they don't have any more of the sugar
free liquor.
DAVID WAIN: Oh that's OK, if you had it, I would have drank
it, but if you don't, you don't.
It's like, I just thought if you had it, then
I would drink it--
WAITER: Right.
DAVID WAIN: --but if you don't, you don't.
WAITER: OK.
And how is your Corona?
SHELLEY: Oh, it's yummy.
WAITER: Yeah?
SHELLEY: Thank you.
WAITER: Sure.
How's that feel?
SHELLEY: Ooh.
Feels pretty amazing, actually.
WAITER: Sit down here--
SHELLEY: Yeah--
WAITER: --let me just--
SHELLEY: Ooh.
[GIGGLE]
BARNEY: I want to get a little bit of that.
Let me get a little some of that.
[KISSING SOUNDS]
SHELLEY: OK, is this crazy or what?
I mean, I'm like being double teamed--
DAVID WAIN: Yeah.
SHELLEY: --right in front of you.
God, this is so funny.
DAVID WAIN: It's really funny.
BARNEY: What do you say we get out of here?
SHELLEY: Yes, let's.
WAITER: Let's get out of here.
DAVID WAIN: Wait, but, Shelley, what the
hell's going on?
SHELLEY: Look, David, I cannot account for affairs of the
heart, you know?
I mean, I really have feelings for both of these guys.
Text me sometime when you're hanging out with a big group,
and I'll try and stop by.
OK, let's go.
BARNEY: Let's go.
WAITER: Yeah.