Downfall of The Facebook IPO


Uploaded by DrawSomethingNaughty on 19.05.2012

Transcript:
THIS JUST CAME FROM NASDAQ HEADQUARTERS...
THEY HAD A GLITCH AND TRADERS DIDN'T KNOW WHETHER TRADES WERE GOING THROUGH OR NOT.
BUT NOW EVERYTHING IS FINE AND WE ARE OFFICIALLY TRADING WITH 30 MINUTES DELAY...
THATS FINE, 30 MINUTES IS NO DIFFERENCE, I BET WE ARE 50 OR 80 PERCENT UP BY NOW...
EKHMM....
THE PROBLEM....
THE PROBLEM IS THAT THERE IS NO DEMAND FOR OUR STOCK...
WE OPENED BARELY TEN PERCENT UP, AND WE ARE ALREADY BACK TO ZERO...
ANYONE WHO WASN'T WITH ME FROM THE EARLY DAYS LEAVES THIS ROOM NOW...
THIS IS A FUCKING JOKE!
A MISERABLE FUCKING JOKE!!
I TOLD THOSE BLOODY BANKERS WE ARE IN BUSINESS OF CONNECTING PEOPLE, NOT MAKING MONEY!
HOW AM I GONNA LOOK WHEN THIS STOCK WILL GO TO PENNIES?!
I HOPE THIS WILL TEACH THEM A LESSON!
I SHOWED UP IN MY FAVORITE HOODIE AND THEY MAKE A BIG DEAL OUT OF IT...
BUT ENTIRE MARKET IS DOWN! ZYNGA WENT 16 PERCENT DOWN!
FUCK ZYNGA! I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT SOME VIRTUAL FARMS, THIS IS REAL!
WE DID EVERYTHING WE COULD! WE EVEN HACKED INTO NASDAQ SYSTEM...
ALL YOU DID IS UPDATE MY STATUS WHEN I RANG THE DAMN BELL...
STUPID STATUS UPDATE!
NOW I LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT WITH PATHETIC STATUS UPDATE...
WHILE PEOPLE ARE GETTING RIPPED OFF AND LOSING MONEY
THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE OPENING OF THE CENTURY!! 50 PERCENT POP!!
TECHCRUNCH AND MASHABLE AND GIZMODO WOULD HAVE WRITTEN EVERYTHING I ASKED THEM
BECAUSE I KEPT THEM ALL BY THE BALLS...
AND THEY KEPT WRITING ABOUT THIS IPO DAYS AND NIGHTS...
AND NOW WE ALL LOOK LIKE IDIOTS...
NOW WE NEED TO FLOOD EVERYONE WITH ADS TO MAKE EVEN MORE REVENUE...
VIAGRA, FAKE ROLEX, WEIGHT-LOSE PILLS... WE NEED THEM ALL!
DAMN BANKERS!!
IMMEDIATELY PUSH FACEBOOK MOBILE APP UPDATE WITH 80% SCREEN COVERED WITH ADS!!
ALL I WANTED IS SOME TIME OFF TO DRAW MORE DICKS...
-- ON DRAW SOMETHING NAUGHTY .COM --
BUT NO, THEY NEEDED TO PUSH WITH DAMNED IPO!
WITH EVERYONE ON MOBILE AND MISERABLE REVENUES...
WE CANNOT EVEN SPONSOR ANOTHER SCHOOL!!
DON'T CRY, BONO JUST MADE 1.5 BILLION, HE WILL FEED ALL STARVING CHILDREN, HE REALLY CARES!!
I SHOULD HAVE SOLD TO THAT SWEATING MANAGER FROM MICROSOFT WHEN I HAD A CHANCE...
HE WOULD KNOW WHAT TO DO...
THIS IS OVER....
THIS PARTY IS OVER...
PERHAPS I SHOULD HAVE NEVER OPENED TO THE PUBLIC...
NEVER!!
I SHOULD HAVE KEPT IT ONLY FOR THE .EDU
MAYBE TIMBERLAKE WILL BUY IT...