Beth of the Week - 9/28/12 (Full Ep)

[MUSIC - DJP AND MRT, "THE WHEEL"]

[MUSIC PLAYING]
BETH HOYT: Happy birthday to Jack.
[THEME MUSIC]
Hi you guys, happy Friday!
I'm Beth Hoyt, this is My Damn Channel Live.
How are you today?
You guys know how I love to tell you, like, what day it is
according to this random website Holidayinsights.com?
They could be totally made up.
Anyways, today is Ask a Stupid Question Day.
So, here goes.
What day is it?
I celebrated it!
I'm going to celebrate this day all day long.
Why can't men have babies?
We do so much.
Why can't we just print more money and hand it out?
Why can't we all just get along?
You guys, I'm sorry if much of your day has gone by and you
didn't know today was Ask a Stupid Question Day.
But hopefully you can still gou--
get out tonight.
Or like, send some texts and celebrate it.
What's happening now?
Stupid question, I know.
I want to show you what happened this week in
case you missed it.
Emma Caulfield was here with Grace, Andrew WK was here,
Lance Reddick came by--
why did you miss that?
That's--
that's not a stupid question, that's a real one.
Anyways, here's the Beth of the Week.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
BETH HOYT: Would you rather be roommates with Kanye West or
Henry Rollins?
Would you please give us the musical response to that?
ANDREW WK: OK.
OK.
Um--
BETH HOYT: Kanye West or Henry Rollins.
ANDREW WK: [SINGING].

BETH HOYT: Wow.
GRACE: Yay!
Single person clapping--
EMMA CAULFIELD: Thank you.
Thank you.
GRACE: --in a room for another person.
BETH HOYT: I want to kiss someone, but they don't want
to kiss me.
ANDREW WK: Aww, ma-- make out with the mirror.
It's a very smooth surface, first of all.
BETH HOYT: You love smooth surfaces.
ANDREW WK: I do, I do.
BETH HOYT: Concrete.
ANDREW WK: You know, glass uh, you know, tile--
BETH HOYT: Yeah.
ANDREW WK: --uh, marble.
Um, now, most of the time, uh, if you kiss a smooth surface,
there's going to be a lot of saliva, there's going to be a
lot of build-up, a lot of residue-- clean it afterwards.
Um, but it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's--
BETH HOYT: Exactly.
Exactly.
A bird just pooped on my head.
Andrew, what would you say?
ANDREW WK: OK, and worst case, you look like Amadeus Mozart,
and who wouldn't want to look like him?
BETH HOYT: That's really positive.
That works so well.
ANDREW WK: Thank you very much.
BETH HOYT: Is there any way that cardigans can be
partyrific?
Party!
STAFF: Party!
ANDREW WK: Now, do you want to sing this one?
BETH HOYT: I want-- ah.
ANDREW WK: Come on.
[KEYBOARD PLAYING]
BETH HOYT: Yeah.
[SINGING].
Right?
ANDREW WK: Yeah, that's it.
OK.
BETH HOYT: There.
ANDREW WK: Hi.
Go.
BETH HOYT: Get in there, Nate.
I'll hold your hair back.
ANDREW WK: Go!
Go!
What are you doing?
Go!
Do more things.
Go!
Go!
Go!
Do it!
BETH HOYT: Nate, you're doing--
you're really getting in there.
ANDREW WK: Stuff your face.
Mash your face!
BETH HOYT: How you doing, Nate?
ANDREW WK: Mash your face!
BETH HOYT: Party!
Party!
ANDREW WK: Go!
Go!
Shuffle!
Shuffle!
Go!
Go!
Go!
Go!
BETH HOYT: Yeah!
ANDREW WK: Go!
Go!
Go!
Go!
BETH HOYT: Oh my--
GRACE: Is it possible to start out a relationship being
long-distance and have it work?
No.
EMMA CAULFIELD: Nope, they all fail.
Every single one of them.
Sorry.
GRACE: Sex on-line, not the same.
ANDREW WK: [SINGING].

[CHEERING]
BETH HOYT: Oh my gosh.
We're not done, we do need, um, the blood.
So I'm going to--
ANDREW WK: Uh oh.
BETH HOYT: I'm going to hit Nate in the face, and then you
can hit Dan after I do Nate.
ANDREW WK: Wait, wait, wait, what?
What?
No, no, no.
No, Beth, no!
[MUSIC PLAYING]
BETH HOYT: Man, I had too much fun here this week every day
to call it work.
Why does anybody work?
It's stupid question day, in case you're just tuning in.
And now I would love to play for you the season finale of
one of our favorite series, and this one
features Seth Green.
It's "Save the Supers." Enjoy, you guys.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
NARRATOR: Last time on "Save the Supers," Fleet Foot
ordered a really big party.
Merman was wasted.
A general arrived.
The party was gold nugget.
Night Knight destructed the general.
Morphman and Merman made up, but then the general was a
giant dick and pulled the Super Force funding.
What will happen next?
I can hardly wait.

[MUSIC PLAYING]
-Yeah, Super Force HQ.
Yeah, I love it in here, right?
It was going to be a Denny's!
Dance, man.
Oh, hey, Morphman!
Hey, buddy!
How's it going [BLEEP]
face?
[BLEEP]
you, oh you're here to celebrate with us, right?
No, he's here to celebrate at us, everybody!
-Whoa, whoa, whoa.
-Huh?
-Take, take it easy, Hemingway.
You're drunk.
-It's done.
It's done.
The Super Force is over.
We're just kaput.
We're Kaputzville.
It's a place, and we're there.
You're out of a job, you're out of a job.
He's got a job.
He's with the Teen Douche Ventures now, you know that?
What, oh, really?
You won't even morph into a human being to
talk to your friend?
Wow.

You're dead to me.
You're dead to me!
-You're all dead to us!
CROWD (OFFSCREEN): [GASP].
[MUSIC CUE]
-Yo!
Yo!
Yo!
We are not just your super phat DJs, we are also your
super phat villains!
Yes!
Now the world will soon know the power of DJ Death.
-DJ Death!
-Featuring Deathtiny's Child.
[SCREAMS]
-Yes, that's right, Super Force.
What you're hearing is ultrasonic ribonucleic beams
interfering with your superpowers
on a molecular level!
-Sonics!

-You all may be wondering about our master plan.
I believe it's proper super villain protocol to
discuss it in detail.
Well, we started small, of course, working parties and
proms, and even slaughtering a few bar mitzvahs!
-Mazel tov!
-Use your laser eyes on that ass.
-Ah!
I--
I can't!
I'm feeling horrible sensations in my body!
-What, you mean pain?
Did you hook up with Rascal, you ass?
-We only did missionary.
That's the one over the chair, right?
-Now we're going to defunkify the Super Force!
-Pu-pu-pu-p- pu-pump it up!
-[LAUGHTER].
Villainous extended laughter!
[LAUGHTER].
-[SCREAMING].
-[SCREAMING].

-Fear not, general.
This cocoon is impenetrable.
Nothing gets in, and nothing gets out.
-Including cellphone signals, apparently.
-Nothing gets in, not even oxygen.
-What?
-Snickers?
-No, thank you.

[MUSIC - MOZART, "REQUIEM"]
-You usually save the day.
This time it was Merman.
What happened?
-Yeah, I threw him one.
I just [BLEEP]
his girlfriend.
DJ DEATH (OFFSCREEN): You look familiar to me.
-I am the world's fastest man.
-Oh, no, no, I remember now.
You're the Speed Demon.
-Don't you [BLEEP]
mess this up for me, man.
These people don't know [BLEEP].
Heh.
Watch your step.
DJ DEATH (OFFSCREEN): You used to be my homie.
-Sorry about tonight.
-[SIGH].
Yeah.
Call me later?
-Uh, yeah, totally.
Nope, not a chance, bye.

-He was weak.
-Ugh, whatevs.
I'm done with relationships for at least 200 years.
-Well done, Merman.
Morphman told me about everything that happened while
I was in the night cocoon, which was a rather strange
experience to be honest.
-Oh, this plate is dirty.
I'll get you another.

-But you all saved my life.
Hammer Strike will take these events into consideration.
-So-- so the Super Force--
-We'll be in touch.
As you were.
-Ow!

Ah.

Ow.
Ow.
Ow.
NIGHT KNIGHT (OFFSCREEN): Push.
Push.
That's it Bessie.
Push.
Yes.
Welcome to the world, super baby.
[BABY CRYING]
-I think I'll call you Reginald.

MALE SPEAKER: Ew, that robot just barfed.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
BETH HOYT: And that's our week and that's our show.
Thanks for watching.
Subscribe.
I'll see you Monday.
I can't wait to talk to you guys through the comments.
Grace is here Tuesday.
We have a really big show planned on Wednesday with the
Wing Girls.
And one of the funniest guys around, DC
Pierson, is here on Thursday.
All next week.
Have a great weekend, you guys.
Party hard!
[MUSIC PLAYING]