Kurt Braunohler & Gilbert Gottfried LIVE - 6/20/12 (Full Ep)

-I have a new pet in the studio today.
[SHOW THEME PLAYING]
-Hey guys.
Welcome to My Damn Channel Live.
It's me, your host and secret lover Beth Hoyt.
We've got a really fun show for you today.
Comedian Kurt Braunohler is here.
Kurt is the host of the new game show Bunk on IFC.
He is hilarious and just fantastic.
And we've got something really special planned with him.
I think without putting too much pressure on ourselves, we
might completely re-invent the talk show format today.
Wait for it.
OK, but first, of course, My Damn Channel Live means world
premiers of our original comedy series.
And we've got a biggie to start things off.
It's another episode of You Suck At Photoshop.

-My name is Donnie and you suck at Photoshop.
Agh.
You're the worst.
You're the Nickelback of Photoshop.

You're Nickelback.

Agh.
You're in a tomb.
You're in--
I, you got hit over the head while you were in Istanbul
trying to make a clean living.
And you woke up in this stone temple.
Remote.
In the dark.
All alone.
And somehow you're--
it's amazingly, your laptop still has battery.
You still have a laptop.
And ah, and, maybe, even more miraculously, you
have a Wi-Fi signal.
So, we, let's get down to Photoshop.
But while we were lying on the floor of the tomb, looked up
on the wall, and saw in our face a
hieroglyphic that says a lot.
Doesn't it?
Two men battling for a box, a beautiful box that we've been
in love with all this time.
A box that we just want to get home to.
A box worth fighting for.
And if we're going to fight, we want to
fight on even terms.
And we want to make these two competitors--
we--
because, quite frankly, the thought of going home, if we
ever make it home, and get into some sort of UFC-type,
face-mashing fight, really would love that to be on, on
an even playing field.
So, what we're going to do is we're going to turn this--
this--
our nemesis, this fish-headed, toilet-hat
wearing person into--
into an equal competitor.
And so we're going to use the clone source tool.
I know what you're saying, Donnie, I know how to use the
Clone Stamp tool-- you don't Know how use
the Clone Stamp tool.
You used your sister's student ID to get an academic discount
licensed version of Photoshop, so that you could use the glow
edges filter and create avatars for Friendster.
You don't know how to use the Clone Stamp tool.
Ah.
Go to View, Window, Clone Source.
We're going to use--
this is, this is going to be the hardest thing that you've
ever learned.
And it's good that I'm going to die in this box, so I don't
have to see how terrible you apply it.
Go grab your Clone Stamp tool, and what we're going to do, is
we're going to clone stamp this guy onto this guy.
So Option click where you want to paint.
And then holding the Option button down, Option click what
you want to clone.
And now you'll see that we've got our clone source.
And over here are multiple sources that we can use.
We'll come back to that in a moment.
Ho--
Just don'--
don't cry.
Everything is going to be fine.
So, let's line this up.
And if you need a little bit of help, you can click the
Invert button, which will allow you to see a bit more of
an overlay.
You can also change that to difference--
to find the right shadow sources.
But let's go back to normal, and let's
just start clone stamping.
And you'll see that we can-- we've got a pretty
good match up here.
It shifts a bit but, honestly, the fact that we're about to
asphyxiate doesn't really make it matter that much.
Now, we can go through here and change all of these
elements to get to equitability.
But let's say that we wanted to take this part the stone
and bring it over here.
We'll just use a different clone source.
So click this clone source and do the same thing.
We want to paint--
ah, we want to paint on here, from here.
So Option click this side, then Option click over here.
And now we'll bring this stone over to this side.
It's not that hard, you idiot.
Ah, I don't e--
why I teach you all this stuff.
Why do I teach you all this stuff?
Hm.
Who are you?
Who are you?
Who am I making these videos?
Who am I talking to?
What--
what's happening to me?
[SOUND OF STONE MOVING AND DROPPING TO GROUND]

Wait.

Come.
How did you find me?

-Donnie, Donnie, Donnie, you are in a bad place.
Clone Stamp sounds like a tattoo for a robot.
Like a tramp stamp for androids.
Am I alone here?
Hello?
Hello?
OK, as I said earlier, Kurt Braunohler is our guess this
week, and Kurt and I are very good friends.
But I hadn't seen him since Bunk debuted on IFC, so I
stopped by his apartment this weekend so say hi and
congratulate him.
It was fun.
He is going to be fine, you guys.

-[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
Hey, Kurt.
-Beth Hoyt.
Come on in.
You're the next guest in Kurt's apartment.

[GAME SHOW MUSIC PLAYING]
-Kurt, what's going on?
-Beth, tell us a little bit about yourself.
-I just came over to say hi, and congrats on the show.
-Fantastic.
We're ready to begin round one.
First question, what can I get you to drink?
-Are you offering me, or?
-What can I get you to drink?
-Seltzer.
-Use your buzzer, please.

-Beth.
-Seltzer.
-Judges?
Ha-ha.
Correct.
We would have also accepted soda water or straight vodka.

Your beverage.

-Kurt, your life isn't a game show.
-At the end of round one, Beth Hoyt is in the
lead with 1,000 points.
-I'm just--
I'm concerned, because--
Wait.
I'm winning?
-That's right.
Ha-ha.
Who's ready to play round two?
-I. I am.
I am.
-All right, Beth, for 2,000 points.
Where are my keys?
A, somewhere in my couch.
B, in a pair of pants.
C, in my hands.
D, none of the above.
[MAKING TICKING SOUNDS]
Time's running out.
Beth Hoyt.
-D?
-Oh-ho-ho.
That is correct.
I cannot find them anywhere.
Seriously, I really can't.
It's been like nine days.
-What are you going to do?
-I don't know.
I'll probably die here.
Ha-ha-ha.

-All right.
With 3,000 points, that makes Beth Hoyt today's winner!
-Ah, ha, ha, yay!

-Mr. Hemingway, thanks for playing.
And Brian, go fuck yourself.
Beth, come on down.
Now, Beth, you can leave here today with 3,000 points.
Or, you can risk it all and go for today's grand prize.
-Grand prize, I'll go for the grand prize.
-All right, will Beth leave here with it, find out that
right this.
[MUSIC STOPS]
[MUSIC RESUMES]
-He-he.
And we are back.
Beth, are you ready to play the grand prize bonus round?
-I am.
-Ha-ha.
All right.
Right behind that wall, my neighbors' newborn baby is
taking her afternoon nap.
So, let's put 30 seconds on the clock and play a little
game I like to call Wake That Baby.
Beth, start waking that baby.
Ha-ha.
-Wake up, baby.
-Wake that baby, Beth.
-[KNOCKING ON WALL]
Wake up, little baby.
-You've got to do better than that, Beth.
You've only got 15 seconds left.
-Wake up, wake up, wake up.
-Beth, get the baby out of the bed.
-Wake up, baby
-Beth, wake the baby.
-Wake up, baby, [BABY CRYING]
time to wake up--
-Beth, you did it.
You did it, Beth.
-Yay.
-Baby keeps me up.
We keep the baby up.
Beth, you are the champion of today's show.
-I did it.
-And, the grand prize, this bag of recycling.
Make sure you put it in the blue bin on your way out.
That's it for this week's Kurt's Apartment.
Good night.
-Good to see you again, Kurt.
[GAME SHOW MUSIC PLAYING]

-Here he is.
Kurt Braunohler everyone.
-Ha, ha.
Hello, Beth.
Good to see.
good to be here.
Thank you very much.
-You're so welcome.
-Now, we were just having some fun in that piece.
But--
-Just some fun.
-Working with you-- it's just some light fun.
But working with you, that shit just made me realize how
good our vibe is.
-This is good.
-It's really good.
-It feels nice, right?
-Sure, does.
-Yeah, well, you know it was kind of magic.
And since I'm a host and you're a host, we decided--
-We decided that starting today, Kurt is going to become
my official co-host of My Damn Channel Live.
Now, we need a moment to just get properly set up.
So in the meantime--
-Let me take this, Beth, all right?
But in the meantime, enjoy another My Damn Channel
original comedy video.
From our friends at Captain Hippo in their fake commercial
series, Product Displacement this is Mortmer Exterminators.

-Hi, I'm Frank Mortmer.
Owner and Operations Manager of Mortmer Exterminators.
Mortmer Exterminators has been servicing the Portsmouth, Ohio
area for over 40 years.
Here at Mortmer, there's no pest too big, or too small.
We guarantee, you'll be completely satisfied--
hey, whoa, was that thing there the whole time?
It's just a little bug, right?
Well, you give us a call and we'll make sure
your house is pest-free.
I feel it like it's sitting on the back of my [BEEP]
neck.
Could someone else-- could someone just get a paper towel
and smoosh this thing?
Get it.
You got it?
I'm Frank Mortmer.

I can't even think anymore.
I'm going to get bit and I'm going to die, and then you
guys are going to have to live with my [BEEP]
ghost.
We guarantee you'll be completely satisfied.
With our service.
Give us a call and we'll make sure your house is pest-free.
-Ew, get me Frank Mortmer.
-Aw, no, no, no, no.
-Frank, for the commercial.
-Bull [BEEP].
I can say whatever I want.
Shut [BEEP].
Don't you touch me.
-OK, it's OK.
-But you-- you touched those rat figures.
OK.
-You're OK?
-Yeah.
-Got to make sure you have the right tools and-- no, no, no
[SHOUTING].
Don't wait.
Pick up the phone and call Mortmer Exterminators today.
And you'll be extrem--
That's a [BEEP]
rat.
That's a real rat.
Call the exterminator.
I don't like their little fingers.
It's coming this way.
Phillip, hit it.
Oh, Phil, grab that gun off the shelf.
I'm going to shoot you, you bastard.
Oh, I'm going to ki--
Now, [GUN SHOT], It's coming.
Now [GUN SHOT].
Ah, oh-ha.
I [BEEP]
my pants.
Take me the hospital.
It [BEEP]
bit me.
I'm going to [BEEP]
die.
Call my son.

I'm dying.
[CHEERY MUSIC]
NARRATOR: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome your
hosts Beth Hoyt and Kurt Braunohler.
-Hello.
-Hello.
-Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Isn't this fun?
-Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
It is terrific.
Ha, ha, ha.
Well, I'm Kurt and this is Beth.
And you're watching Live With Kurt and Beth.
-Well, I sure hope they are.
-I mean, if they're not, what are they doing?
What are they doing if they are not watching?
-Don't.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Oh, Gosh.
-So, Beth, don't you tell our viewers that hilarious story
you were telling me backstage about what happened when you
went to pick up your dry cleaning.
-Oh, oh boy, OK.
All right, when I went to pick up my dry cleaning this
weekend, and, you know, I was in such a hurry.
-Oh my God, you're always in a rush.
-I know.
You're like, it's like 2012, you know, that album by Rush
and none of you know.
Ha, ha, ha.
-So I didn't even bother.
I'm picking up my dry cleaning, again, just to
backtrack on that.
You know, I didn't even bother to look at my clothes when I
picked them up.
And I just-- wouldn't you know it, when I got home I
realized, they had given me someone else's dry cleaning.
-No.
-Yes.
-No.
-Yes.
-Ha, ha, ha.
I had to go all the way back to the dry
cleaning place and--
-You had to return it and get your clothes.
Ah, ha, ha.
It is totally insane.
-It was crazy.
-Because you were probably them to give you your clothes,
-You know?
-But no.
Nah ah.
No, not a chance.
Not in this lifetime.
-Not today.
-This world is full of suffering.
Ha, ha, ha.
-Oh dear.
OK, Kurt, now, I heard something pretty hilarious
happened to you this weekend at the vet?
-God, man.
This is a naughty story.
-OK.
God, I can't wait.
-I went to the vet this weekend, because my dog of 15
years, Barnaby, had to be put down.
-Oh, boy.
-And we had to murder him.
And so there I am.
And I'm holding Bradley in my arms, as the vet readies a
syringe full of Pentobarbital--
-OK, that'll do it.
- --which murders animals.
And I'm just whispering quietly in his ear, you know,
to keep him calm and everything.
-Hm-hm.
-And the-- ha, are you ready for this?
-I don't know.
The vet says, don't worry, this won't burt him a hit.
-What?
-He meant to say, this won't hurt him a bit, but he got his
words all twisted in his moosh mouth.
-Oh, yeah.
He got his words all-- his words all twisted.
-Yeah, he got his
-[TOGETHER]
twords all wisted.
-Ah, ah.
-Exactly.
Oh, we had a good laugh over that.
-Oh my Gosh, pets are the best.
-Ha, ha and heavy, when they're dead.
-Ah, we'll be right back with more hilarious anecdotes.
But up next is another My Damn Channel
original video premiere.
-Gilbert Gottfried stopped by the studio recently for
another one of his patented rants on modern
technology and culture.
That Gilbert.
Please enjoy another episode of Gilbert Gets It.

-Hey folks, Gilbert Gottfried here.
So a man in London has started a business that takes the
ashes of recently cremated people and presses them into a
vinyl record.
Look, I get it.
You want your dead relatives to live on.
And what better way than by playing a couple deep cuts
from their corpse.
What do you think of my Grandma?
She's got a nice beat and she is easy to dance to.
I can't imagine anything more offensive than my loved ones
being pressed into vinyl, except maybe 8-track.
Maybe people should be made into CDs, so you can skip
right to your favorite parts of them.
For Christians, MP3s would definitely be the best.
Then you could store them in the cloud.
Where is grandma?
She's up there.
Meanwhile, that town of Middleborough, Massachusetts
has voted to issue a $20 citation to people
who swear in public.
Look, I get it.
There are a lot of towns in Massachusetts.
And you need to find a way to stand out as the dumbest.
$20 might not seem like a big fine.
But the first thing you say when you're handed a ticket
for swearing is, "what the fuck is this"?
Then you get another and you say "thanks a lot, asshole"
and eventually, the town has all your money.
It's just going to keep everyone inside their homes,
where they're save to yell about what a stupid fucking
idea this is.
Finally, a Florida couple has been arrested because, police
say, they Googled "ways to kill people in their sleep"
minutes before their friend was strangled to death.
Look, I get.
You're dumb enough to murder someone, but not smart enough
to know how to do it.
If you have to ask how to kill someone, maybe it's best not
to ask the big computer that now runs the world.
Personally, I've always thought of murder it to be a
do-it-yourself kind of project.
If you Google something, there's no going back.
Just for example, um, you happened to Google how to
break into Mila Kunis' house.
That's going to stick with you.
Trust me.
My advice is, if you're looking to cover your tracks,
distract the investigator with other incriminating searches.
My search history from this week includes how to destroy
DNA evidence, best place to hide small human bones,
soaking bullets in poison, faking your own birth, and
puppy adoption services.
The authorities will have no idea where to start.
I'm always looking for more weird crap to rant about.
So if you've got something good, just
send it to me on Twitter.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go Google, how to
kill a talking duck.

-Gilbert Gottfried everyone.
Man, I wouldn't want to be a talking duck right now.
-Oh, look out.
Ha, ha, ha.
-If he murders a duck, he will actually get arrested, so--
-Look out.
-Look out.
-OK.
Well, we're thrilled now to introduce an exciting new
segment on our show.
-You know what?
Can I just do something?
You know what?
Sorry guys, I just had a thought on how we could spice
things up a bit in here.
-OK, OK, I'm listening.
-All right, so the guys behind the cameras, like, you guys
have been keeping very still, you know, like doing kind of a
traditional camera job.
-I think, I think I know where you're going with this.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So what if we just, just start adding in some slow
zooms, in and out.
Come on, like popping in.
-Woo, look at it, look at us, we're coming at ya.
-Oh, there we go.
That's it.
Play with us.
Become a character in this sitcom we call fun.
-Oh, man.
-OK?
You know, you know, oh, you know we could also do?
I just had this idea.
Hold on, hold on.
-Oh, Gosh.
-Roll with me on this one.
-Oh, wait Kurt, where are you going?
This is nuts.
-Look at this.
Look at this.
Let me get in here.
Let me get in here.
Get out of the way, buddy.
Whoa ha.
-Oh my Gosh.
This is wild.
Oh, where am I?
-This is fun.
Where are you?
Are you out on the Titanic?
-Oh, it feel like it.
-It's going down.
It is.
We are on our own cultural Titanic.
And this is the end.
-So much fun.
Kurt, come on, get back here.
Oh my goodness.
-Whoa, there we go.
-Good times, get back here, Kurt.
I need my co-host.
-All righty, that looks fun.
But keep going with that, guys, all right?
So I'm serious.
You know, like really, like keep this fun, OK?
Did I screw something up?
I look like I screwed something up.
Just occasionally zoom in really fast on us, OK?
We call that a slam in the biz, guys, all right?
-Oh, business talk.
-Can you guys do that?
-Slam.
-Whoa.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
-Hey, just trying to add some pizzazz to the super new talk
show.
-You're sure doing it.
-Look, nobody is doing stuff like this, and this could be
our thing.
-This is, yeah.
This is our first step.
-Yeah, people love it.
-Gosh.
-Jesus.
-Unfortunately, now, you know, we don't have
time for that segment.
Now, that's fine.
-Slam.
-Gosh, perfect.
-There's a segment in itself, so, it doesn't matter.
-Of, course, I forgot.
Let's just get to our next video.
When we get back, we're going to be responding to your
Tweets and YouTube comments.
But first, it's another My Damn
Channel original premiere.
Here's Co-op of the Damned with Naked Dead.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
-Ah.
-Ah.
-Ah, nipples.
-Stop staring at my tits.
-I don't think that I can.
I mean, yes, I will totally stop staring at your tits.
Just bring them back.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
-I love your boobs.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
-Yeah, you haunt the shit out of me, you
beautiful dead lady thing.
Aw.

Hey, what happened to the lady?
-Yeah, you totally perved her out.
She asked me to switch apartments.

-I could work with this.
-Oh, man.
-You're a naughty little dead boy, aren't you?

Oops.

-All right, you're back with Kurt and Beth.
-Now is that time in our brand new talk show when we like to
respond to you, the people on the other side of that thing.
-Slam.
Whoa.
-It's fun.
-It's so fun.
-Yeah.
-All right, let's talk to our viewers.
-Let's do it.
-We've got a Tweet first.
This is from ohmywyattkane.
His character us like the love child of Drew
Carey and John Hodgman.
-Wow.
-Like for realzies.
-Drew Carey and John Hodgman.
I'll take that.
-Yeah.
-I'll take that.
Is it just because we have classes?
That's-- is that the connection?
You just assume-- assume that--
But Drew Carey doesn't wear glasses any more, does he?
-I ha--
I don't--
Yeah, he looks all different now from the way that he was
when I was growing up.
-Yeah, yeah.
And he wears a tie still though.
-You sure?
-Yeah.
It's weird to be known for wearing glasses, and then get
your eyes fixed.
-You can't, you can't do that, yeah.
-Which is what he did.
No, but I'm going make--
-And lost-- and lose a ton of weight, is what he did.
-Well, stop losing weight, guys.
Let's do that for America.
-Keep staying the way you look for ever.
-Stay the way you look forever.
-All right, next Tweet is from um, cebsilver.
"Waking babies is easy.
How about wake that badger?
Easy, but dangerous."
-Wait, are ba--
are badgers dangerous?
-It that a problem?
-Are badgers dangerous?
-Well, I think they are.
Well, I'm from Wisconsin, and the Wisconsin Badgers, I mean,
it's like, you want to have a ferocious fight animal.
It's not like you want to have like a--
-Badgers are silly.
Badgers's are silly animals.
-I feel like if I saw a badger in my driveway, and I was--
I would be scared.
I mean I'm scared of a lot of things, but--
-Is a badger really dange-- that's hila--
if that's true, if a badger's dangerous, that's funny.
It's like a Teddy bear being dangerous.
-Yeah, I think this whole time we've been talking about
badgers, I've been picturing raccoons.
-Oh, really?
-Yeah, I've be picturing groundhogs.
-Mm.
-Yeah, yeah, because those are adorable.
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
-Next Tweet is from Andy Juette.
"Kurt, do you consider yourself the most Aryan comic
out there or just one of the most?"
-OK, what was fun about that, was that Beth read Aryan
incorrectly, and it made her feel dumb.
-So I didn't say it the second time because--
-That's what you did.
Because you're like I know what Arian means, but Aryan, I
have heard of that.
-Well I am that.
So, it's like--
-Yeah, you are Aryan.
Yeah.
Am I one of the--
I think I might be the most Aryan.
I might be.
Can you think of another one?
I mean there's some pale people out there, but I'm the
most Germanic.
-Drew Carey and John Hodgman?
-Yeah, but I'm the most Germanic looking.
-Yeah.
You know, so I think, maybe yeah.
The one thing is is that I don't have blue eyes.
If I had blue eyes, than it would be, I would be straight
up Aryan.
-Seal the deal on that one.
-So, too bad.
-You can't change now though?
-No, no I can't.
-You can't change.
-I mean I can.
I can get my eyes changed.
-All right, you know, actually, do you think-- how
are you feeling--
-You know, this is great.
I want to, I kind of want to kick things up a notch.
You know?
Can we get-- hey guys, can we get some, some dance music
going in here?
Oh, yeah.
-I like that.
-Oh yeah, there we go.
There it is.
-That is good.
We are just changing things up, you know.
-All right.
-Just changing this, let's do this.
-I like this.
This is good.
This is good.
-OK, let's bring on more questions.
-All right, next question.
-This is a Tumblr question.
-Ooh, a Tumblr question.
-Yeah.
All right.
-All right.
And it is from blain0.
"Why no shoes?" Kurt wears no shoes on his show Bunk on IFC.
-Great question.
The reason I don't wear shoes is because I kind of want it
to feel like there's a chance that a homeless man just kind
of wandered in, like a confident homeless man, and
he's now hosting the show.
So that's why I don't wear shoes.
Actually, it was just a dumb decision I made before the
first time we shot the pilot.
-It's an awesome decision.
It's one of the very fun things that stands out on your
show.
-Ah, thanks.
We never mention it.
We never will.
-Yeah.
I mean, you were asked about it in other shows.
-Exactly, yeah, exactly.
-Leave the mysteries to us.
-Yeah, exactly.
This is where we solve mysteries, that's why it's
called House Hunters, right?
-Yeah, absolutely.
-I know where I am.
-House Hunters Live.
-I know where I am.
-A Tumblr question.
Is danisdapper, "What happened to all those puppies you
shamed on Bunk?"
-Ah-ha, can I tell you what happened?
-You'd better.
-One of them, one of them killed himself.
Another one just turn into a dog with really low
self-esteem.
And the third I killed, because I didn't want to have
either of those results.
-Yeah, just like you're saving it.
Just saving it.
-Yeah, I put in a bag and threw it over a river.
In a cartoon.
-Oh.
-I threw it over a river, to the other side, where it
landed and just died.
-Well, you know what else?
I'm really [INAUDIBLE] about how the music helps this.
-Yeah, yeah, it does.
Oh, this is really fun.
-'Cause it's really adding to that, you know?
-Yeah.
All right, another Facebook question is from--
Not another. it's the first one.
Alex Forstenhausler "What was it like working on the web
series, You Dad's Friends?"
-Ah, ha, ah, ha, ha.
Ah, it was great.
It was-- we, we did it.
Aaron, who is in it and, I believe, also wrote on it as
well was an ex improv student of mine.
And I think it's a very funny series, you guys
should watch it.
It's called My Dad's Friends.
And yeah, I think I'm like in the
fourth episode, or something.
It's a good web series.
Yeah, you should totally watch it.
-Yeah, you're on the web.
Open that tab and do that.
But I mean, stay in this, but like save it for later.
-Stay here, stay here.
Yeah.
-'Cause we're going to--
Let's do something with the lights.
Like to make this like a party.
-Yeah, can we get this little--
-I want to keep--
-Here we go.
-Isn't that great?
-Love this, it's great.
-We are making this a show.
-All right, let's do another one.
-Let's have a comment from someone.
Let's see what we have um-- it's going to be a comment.
OK, NedEhrbar, "Why isn't there anything
in the mugs?" -What?
What are you talking about?
You can't see inside my mug.
I've got whiskey in my mug.
-Oh, I'm just drinking coffee.
-30 pounds of whiskey.
You don't know how liquids measure.
-Ha-ha, today, today I Googled how many grams are in an
ounce.
-You did?
-Um hm.
-How many?
-Ah, se-- wait.
So there--
Seven.
-Just listen now.
There is not seven grams in an ounce.
-Seven.
-There's no way there's seven grams in an ounce.
-Wait, there was--
I--
I learned a lot today.
-Ha, ha, ha, ha.
-And, um, I'm getting some more sober as the day goes on.
So I'm just sobering up here with this.
-Well, I'm just, I'm just getting-- kicking it up.
-Just starting-- getting started.
You know, that's how we work, you know up and down.
-Exactly That's how we balance each other out.
-We meet in the middle.
-Yeah.
-Ha-ha.
Here is a tweet from gogogowanus.
"Kurt, who are your three dream Bunk contestants living,
dead or living/dead?"
-Ah, great question.
-Yeah.
-Three Bunk contestants that I would love
to have on the show.
Let's say, ah, we're going to say Bill Murray.
-OK, yeah.
-All right, Bill Murray, Barack Obama, and a
dog that can talk.
Yeah.
Those are it.
That, I think, that's a winning, that is going to be a
fun game.
-That is a good answer.
-You know what?
This is fun.
-How can you-- this is so fun.
-This is really good.
-That would be-- yeah.
-I like this, you know, but let's get a little more action
in the background.
You know, can I have my friend come in and dance?
-Sure.
-Yeah.
-Gary, Gary come on dance in here.
-Gary.
I met Gary--
I met Gary at a liquor store parking lot last night.
-He looks like it.
-Best friends now.
-Looks like you did.
You know, if you're bringing your friend out, I want to
bring out my friend Trish Trish.
-Oh oh.
-She's--
All right, yeah, she's here.
-Yeah, oh man.
-Ha, ha, ha, ha.
This is fun.
This is a party.
This is a party.
-Fun.
We have another comment.
-OK, we have another comment?
-Just keep talking.
"I want to see Kurt dance like a madman".
From EppyOO.
-Well, you've got to hang out and wait for the post-dance
party video.
-Yeah.
-I can't dance now.
-Wait for it.
-I got to answer too many questions.
-Yeah, wait for it.
We'll do that.
-Yeah, this is great, but you know what?
-I don't know.
-You know how we can really get this?
We can push this up a whole nother level.
-Here he is, pushing it up another level.
-Do you want to push this up another level?
You want to have some real fun?
-I do.
-You want to have some real fun?
-Of course, I do.
-Yeah, do you?
All right, that's how you have real time.
Russian Roulette.
-Oh Gosh.
Oh, man.
-What?
-Kurt, sorry, I'm sorry, honey.
-What?
-I should've, I should've told you.
You can't, you can't do Russian Roulette on YouTube.
-What?
Why not?
It's just one bullet.
-No, no, I'm sorry.
It's a policy.
It's a policy YouTube has.
-No.
-Yeah.
-It's a--
Guys, have you guys played this?
It's fun.
-Well.
-There's real, there's things at stake.
-It's exciting, but--
-Seriously?
-You can't do that here.
-I can do this on television.
-It's different rules.
-Whoa, I had no idea the internet had so many rules and
that they were so lame.
-That's just--
I mean that's just one of the big ones.
-Yeah, OK.
-Bummer though.
Bummer.
-All right, I don't want to leave you in the lurch, Beth.
But, you know, I don't know if this--
this internet thing is kind of working with my free spirit.
You know what I mean?
-I do know what you mean.
-I mean, I'm all about guns.
-Yeah, I know, I know.
This is--
I mean I don't want to have to censor you at all on that.
You know, let's just put it down now.
Just for now.
I get it.
You know, we gave this a shot.
We did.
-Sure did.
We totally did.
-And you know what?
You have your brand new show Bunk to fall back on Friday
nights at 10:30 on IFC.
-Yeah, there we go.
-Ah, it's so fun.
-I'll never forget our time together.
-We have that.
Yeah, this really was special.
-This was really nice.
-Thank you so much for being here.
-I'm happy I could come out.
-When are you-- when can we see you next in
New York City live?
What's happening?
-Ah.
-Again, Monday night is Hot Tub.
-Well, Monday nights, of course, always Hot Tub, that I
host with Kristen Schaal.
But the big show is coming out June 29th, it's Night of the
Living, that's my late night talk show.
Our guests are Tim Heidecker and Amanda Palmer from the
Dresden Dolls.
-Gosh.
-And then afterwards, we're going to actually do a live
screening of Bunk.
And that's at Littlefield in Brooklyn, New
York at 8:30 p.m.
On June 29th.
-Oh my Gosh, that's going to be so much fun.
Thank you so much for hosting.
-Thank you.
-And I'm sorry this didn't work out, but it was really
fun, anyway.
-No problem I need, I need to--
-We might as well give it a shot.
-Yeah, exactly.
-I mean, that's [INAUDIBLE]
fun.
-You keep taking that out of my hand.
-You guys, let's get it back.
Let's get that party vibe back in here.
Let's get it light and fun again, all right?
Tune in tomorrow, Mark Malkoff will be here talking about his
Netflix challenge.
And subscribe.
Come on up here, Gary and Trish.
Come on.
If you guys subscribe, you are going to be the first to know
when you can watch the special dance party video that Kurt
and I are about to shoot, when Kurt will dance like a madman
with my friend Trish and his friend Gary.
You will want to see this.
So, click on that Subscribe button.
You are my favorite.
Later.
-Bye, guys.
See ya.
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