Huevocartoon - Huevos al Cine: Pulgares Arriba o Abajo 2


Uploaded by huevocartoonpuntocom on 22.04.2009

Transcript:
Thumbs up or down
Thank you very much for joining us...
...in this new edition of...
...thumbs up...
...or down...
I'm Eggsiskel,
and I'm pleased to greet my colleague...
...and good friend...
...Rueggpert...
How's it going?
Thank you Eggsiskel, and welcome everyone to this show...
...on which, as you know,
and if you don't know, I'll tell you... we literally destroy film directors...
...based on the merits of their filmography...
...or, to make it "understandable" for the plebs...
...if the movie is shitty,
the director...is screwed...
To do this, we have our infallible method of doing like this...
...or like this...
So, without further ado, I give you our guest director this evening...
Please welcome Eggin Eggarantino!
Well done!
Well done!
I'm gonna tell you this in a very simple way...
Let me go, you mother f**kers!
Thank you, Eggin, for accepting our invitation.
So, Rueggpert, what do you think? Shall we begin with the analysis...
...and the probably cruel and disturbing, but not less interesting massacre?
Yes, I think so...
...and to begin...
...let's see a segment of his first work...
...or, as the plebs would say...
..."the first time he sat on the director's chair"...
That's right. A harsh, violent film, with lively dialogues and an excellent soundtrack...
...or in tacky language...
..."cool tunes"...
"Reservoir...
...Eggs".
Let's watch it!
No, boss, don't!
C'mon, no lie!
I told you I know nothin' 'bout a trap! Please!
I have two little eggs...
...and a great egg woman at home...
I beg you!
Not in the face!
No! I'm a metrosexual! Please!
For pity's sake...
I don't wanna be a fried egg!
I'll tell you everything!
That egg is the traitor, that egg is a policegg!
He set you the trap!
What's with you, dude?
Nothing, just hanging around, ya know?
As I didn't have anything to do...I said, well...
...let's have some healthy fun, ya know?
And that's what I'm doing...
Oh...ok then...
Definitely a classic,
a work with a black humor that, without a doubt, updaded the genre, don't you think so, Rueggpert?
I don't know, violence seemed a little bit gratuitous to me...
...and I insist, music is the only redeeming feature of the film...
But now let's see the following fragment...
...of the movie for which he was nominated for the Eggoscar...
And which rescued John Meggavolta's career...
We refer to...
..."Eggs Fiction"...
So how was Meggico?
Well, you know...it's like every other place...
...but with some small differences...
For example?
For example, if you get caught shagging a chick over there...
...they make you marry her...
No!
Yup...
In "Apatzingan",
they also have theatres...
...but the plays are very repetitive...
...and they don't call them theatres...
Really?
No...
...they call them "bullrings"...
Bullrings!
No way!
And how do they call the movie theatres?
I don't know...I didn't ask...
Wait, and it gets better...
...if a policegg caughts you twisting a blunt...
...with twenty pesos and a joint...
...they let you go...
No way! You're shitting my shell out!
Sweet! That's my next stop!
I gotta go live there!
Have you been to Meggico?
I'm talkin' to you, #$%&! Why don't y...!
What the $%&#! What the $%&# is wrong with you?
Nothing, you #$%&! This #$%& shit went off!
Man...poor bastard!
Do you have #$%& instead of yolk or what?
We're #$%& screwed, you #$%&! Shit! You #$%&!
Well, maybe...
...nobody will notice...
You #$%&! How could anyone "not #$%& notice" it?
You just whacked the boss's favorite cock-worker, and nobody will notice?
He has more of those...
How the #$%& am I gonna tell him?
Chill #$%& out, dude!
It was an accident!
Fu*king guns don't go off just because the Holy Egg sends a beam of light on them...!
You scr...!
F*ck!
For me in particular,
the dialogue, more than "lively", is simply a buch of swear words and unnecessary violence...
I'm afraid I disagree with you, my dear colleague..
I think...
...it's just the way these type of characters express themselves...
Isn't it? Am I right, Huevin?
You're dead, f**kers! F*ck your mother!
You'll see how I'll kick your ass up your nose!
Sons of #$%&! #$%&!
Let's go now with the segment of his last production...
...and we'll come back to decide where these beautiful thumbs will point...
This is a fragment of his fourth movie...
..."Egg Bill"...
...volume...
...volume...
...volume up, when we return, I can't hear myself...
...please...
Thanks, thanks...
Let's watch it...
I'll finally get my revenge, Egg...Bill...
Revenge...
...is nothing but an old turtle in love with the unreachable crane...
...which withal, had hemorrhoids...
What?
That doesn't make any sense...
You're no rival for my Australian tiger-panda egg technique...
What?
This time I'll kill you for ever!
I don't...
...think so...
...Egg...
...Bill...
CENSURED
It can't be!
Only master Pei Megg knows...!
The step, three slap, pinch, eye poke, blow job Exploding Egg Technique?
Wasn't it step, three slap, pinch, eye poke and...
...two blow jobs?
No...
Three blow jobs?
I said no!
Well, in any case...
...it didn't work...
I think it was step, pinch, slap, eye poke and blow job...
No...no, it was pinch...
...step, slap, eye poke...
No...
The blow job was first...
No...
The thing is I'm still alive!
And my shell hasn't ex...
This is without a doubt another hit with Eggarantino's camera...
And yes,
what everybody wants is pure entertainment...
I think the movie is bearable...
I must differ with you, I don't believe in all that Exploding Egg blow job stuff...
If you only knew...
Well, since time is getting on...
...and the audience is anxious to know our verdict, then...
Well, in spite of everything, I give him a thumb up...
...like this...
...plebbies...
Colleague, I agree with you...
In my opinion, a well-deserved...
...thumb up!
You poisonous critics!
Nobody gives me thumbs up!
But you'll hear from me!
And from my lawyers!
Frustrated moviemakers!
Envious bastards!
You didn't get anything!
Anything!
Anything...
...of my movies!
You lousy bums!
Assclowns!
Dick wads!
Damned door-knockers!
Free-riders!
I want my thumbs down!
Well, that's it for today, we'll see you next time...
...in a new edition of "Thumbs up...
...or down"...
Thank you and until next time...