JourneyQuest - Episode 2: Sod the Quest


Uploaded by ZombieOrpheusEnt on 27.09.2010

Transcript:
Light of Vieris, light of truth, lend me thy healing hand.
Good?
- Yeah. - Good.
That was a bad idea.
So, the Temple of All Dooms. Really?
All of them?
Well, not likely, …
… but the Temple of Some Dooms didn't have quite the same punch.
Who cares what it's called? What matters is what's inside.
Yeah. Dooms. Specifically, ours.
It's solid stone all the way around. There's no way in.
Blast! I did not come hundreds of miles …
… and slay thousands of orcs simply to be thwarted here!
Yes, about that.
I'm not quite sure you had to kill all those orcs.
I... I...
… don't follow.
You killed every single orc to cross our path.
And some that were nowhere near our path.
I'm not entirely positive that was necessary.
You've lost me.
You killed every last orc in that village.
And that retirement village.
Well, I was too brave to spare the elderly.
The women... the children--
Killing equals honor.
Ohokay.
There he is. The bastard Orcslayer!
Quiet.
Go get the others.
Sod the others!
Let's just kill them! Gut them good!
Keep your blood down.
That's how we get slaughtered.
We can take them! My atrocity-knife is ready.
Yeah, well, mine's back at camp.
I have plenty. Take your pick.
How many of those did you bring?
I don't know...
...twelve?
Sod!
I think you should see this.
Sod the Quest
It's a riddle pillar.
And what in valor's name is that?
A pillar. With a riddle on it.
Hence the term, "riddle pillar."
I guess that makes a simple kind of sense.
Find and defeat the Guardian to enter the Temple of All Dooms.
Always running, stays in place. Has a mouth but not a face.
Has no lungs and yet can roar. Passageway without a door.
A most perplexing riddle.
I'm guessing it's some kind of dragon.
It's a river.
- A river? - Yes.
- Not a dragon? - No.
Probably means that the entrance is hidden, somewhere hard to find.
Behind a waterfall, maybe? Or at the bottom of a current?
The Guardian is the river!
It will take all my bravery to defeat it.
Yes.
Yes, let's interpret that literally.
You have to kill the river.
Yes, yes. But how?
Oh, I could stab it in the mouth.
If only I could find a way to hold it in place.
Damn!
Have you taken many blows to the head?
Hundreds.
Onward!
Well, that's my cue.
Cheers.
And he's leaving. Again.
Now seems like the best time. I mean, …
… that river is gonna keep him busy for hours.
What about the Sword?
Don't care.
What about the quest, then?
Sod the quest.
Don't you at least want to see him kill a river?
You can't just walk away.
Nobody gets to just walk awa--
I could shoot him.
Let him walk it off.
Just wing him, you know?
No permanent damage.
Well, some. But nothing you couldn't heal.
He'll come back. He always does.
You seem rather sure about that.
What?
You really don't see it?
- How he looks at you-- - Orcsign.
Damn it!
Quiet! Orcsign!
Orcs? Where?
Oh, wait, I see them.
The pets?
Yes.
The pets -- the little ones. Remember when I ran that one down?
- Glorion: Yelp! - Perf: That wasn't even an orc. That was a chicken.
Who can tell the difference in the heat of battle?
Orcs aren't really evil, Glorion.
Says you.
You ever smelled one? Mm. Pungent.
It's like asparagus and sulfur.
Sure they don't smell good, but neither do you after five days wearing that armor.
Cut!