The Guild - S5 Ep10: Strategy Timez


Uploaded by geekandsundry on Jun 12, 2012

Transcript:

-I called a Guild summit.
This is so official.
I've read a lot about summits in history classes I've taken.
I seem to remember that out of one of them they
produced the UN.
And oh, there's that one, G something, that European
hippies don't like.
I'm not stupid.
I'm just ignorant about things I don't RSS.
And I'm not putting my summit on the scale of world peace or
European hippies.
But this our game we're talking about.
We've got to get off the convention distractions and
focus on what matters.
I mean this is serious.
Clara, I need you take minutes.
Stop eating from the mini-bar.
-Clara, are you insane?
-[INAUDIBLE] that crap.
-Why don't you throw money in the street?
[THEME SONG]
-The situation is as dire as I
neurotically surmised yesterday.
-Must be a first.
-Vork, what are you doing?
-Leaving.
This has been an horrific experience.
I don't care to keep existing in this time space.
-But you're our ride.
-Then I suggest you get packing.
-We're discussing the future of our game and,
and forming a mandate.
-Besides we can't leave yet.
Zaboo and I spent all morning making the most kickass
costume accessory ever invented.
-Yeah.
Clara and I are going to have a three-way
with a trophy later.
Huh.
-Please turn that off.
The RTX guy said that their company wants to make the game
more accessible.
-As fans, we have no right to criticize what people do with
their creative properties.
-Oh please.
You're just sensitive about that chick you were flirting
with earlier.
-Vork flirting?
Hurl.
-Yeah.
He got smart-mouthed with some MILFy TV star, put his foot in
it, and she stormed off in a huff.

-I alienated the fantasy love of my life.
I can no more heal this wound and mortification than pay
full price for miniature golf.
-Start dating an S&M chick.
Then she'll come sniffing around.
Worked for me and Codex.
Yeesh.
Stink-eyed.
-Listen up, guys.
They're going to make the game free-to-play.
Appeal to casuals.
-Casuals?
-Don't aneurysm yet.
It gets worse.
The game will be free-to-play, but they're going to
micro-charge for everything, changing costume colors, bank
space rentals, epic loot drops.
-I change my colors all the time.
I made rainbows out of my fingertips.
-Clara, is that from the mini-bar?
-No.
-This morning we were up to $200 in snack charges.
Your fetus owes me.
And if we're checking out, so do all of you.
-Why?
You're covering the room.
You're the one who made us come, and you made all that
money off your booth.
-We were banned from our only income source, because Bladezz
went divalicious on our fans.
-They overreacted.
I was just being me but more fancy.
-[CLEARS THROAT].
They're getting rid of all blood graphic effects.
Parents demanded it in order to be able
to market to tweens.
-Screw tweens.
-Weren't you just one yourself?
-They're censoring all profanity.
They're getting rid of nipple NPC graphics.
-No.
Centaur chests are the best.
I won't let this happen.
I'm a mom, and I [BEEP]
love swearing.
-Clara, are you seriously wiping your face with one of
our shirts?
-Whoa.
Scary villain costume.
-Not only did you ditch our business this weekend, but you
are using an $8 face napkin.
-They are taking death out of the game.
Instead characters will just fall to the ground, and
canaries will circles their heads for 15 seconds.
Oh, oh, they're making an app.
-Adios.
Guadalajara, all.
-Vork.
Stop.
Listen.
I almost quit the game yesterday, but I didn't
because I love you [BEEP].

-Oh, that was weird.
-Are you serious?
-Yeah.
After the thing with you and the thing with Floyd, I just,
I just want to quit everything.
-Well, that would suck.
No one lets me harass them like you do.
-And you technically can't quit.
I believe I have you under contract.
-Well, whatever, I'm not gonna.
But look at us.
This convention has separated us.
How are we going to survive something like the change of
our whole universe?
-Fighting that would be hopeless.
I'll have to abandon Clara and start a new Clara.
Ugh, poor former me Clara.
-They haven't signed all the paperwork yet.
Floyd is totally stalling.
He's neurotic like Codex.
We can convince him.
-If we can track Floyd down at the Ball, maybe we can show
him as a guild how important the game is to us and then and
convince him not to sell.
-Hello'd.
You guys really need to check out the fine
print of the program.
It says that costumes are required for the Costume Ball.
And I ain't got one.
-We can use my steampunk one.
-Well, gee-willikers for you.
But the rest of us have no more spendable income left to
purchase frivolous sundry.
-Yeah, and I can't wear my pirate outfit or I'll clubbed
with a 1,000 lightsabers.
-Fun fact.
I know a fashion designer.
-Um.
Yeah, I can design, sure.
But where are we going to find materials.

[BARBERSHOP QUARTET SINGING]
-Costume contest starts in ten minutes.
Line up.
-OK.
Watch the Munchkin outfit, Tink.
All right.
-Clara.
You ready?
We got to go find Floyd.
-First, check out what Zaboo and I made.
-Yeah.
Viola'd.

-You must be bleeping me.