The History of Chemistry

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There once was a time when there was no chemistry
Until a bit before 8000 BC
That worked until about 800 years ago
The only elements people cared about were COPPER AND GOLD!
The wanted to know how the properties could be controlled (Sorry about not having that extra L, we're too lazy to fix it).
So eventually
EVENTUALLY...
My name is Democritus and all I know is that...
"Atomos" is really where it's at
They can't be broken down any smaller
But if you mix them together, you get all kinds of matter.
*Musical saw*
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And after the Greeks, there were alchemists
Part magician, and part scientist
They believed that metals could be changed to gold
They invented some useful items that we still use in our homes
In the 1500s
My name is Robert Boyle, and I'm interested in gases
I experimented with pressure and particle masses
Matter's made up of tiny particles that can fit together
And when they do, they can make new substances forever.
*Musical saw*
*Amazing blow-your-mind instrumental*
People were experimenting with all kinds of stuff
Creating gases, making new chemicals, they couldn't get enough
They didn't know what to do with all the new chemical properties
So a cool cat decided to create something in the 1770s
My name is Antonie Laurent Lavoisier
I know it's a dumb name but that's beside the point so you shouldn't complain
I made a new system for naming solids, gases, and liquids
Now all the scientists are on the same page, it's really quite exquisite!
In about 1800, there was a scientist named John Dalton
He developed the theory that all pure substances are made of one
He also theorized that all elements are made out of atoms
That all have the same mass and are cool and rhyme with atoms
Then JJ Thompson found particles that were so tiny he called them electrons
Then after that he invented a particle model that looked like a raisin bun
Then came along a Japanese guy who was super cool
He created an atom model much like a solar system and he wasn't Steve Brule
My name is Rutherford (lol)
And my name is Bhor
We found together
That atoms are more
Than just particles
Flying everywhere
Instead, their orbits are circular
And totally aren't square
We also discovered
That when atoms lose or gain energy
They'll jump to other electron shells
Promoting synergy.
*Beautiful musical interlude that is currently blowing your mind*
And then Mendeleev, he was playing solitare
He uncovered a pattern for chemicals everywhere
He went on to assemble the periodic table
And that just about concludes our song but here's the fable:
You should always refrigerate your meat or else
It's gonna smell really raunchy, and you're gonna go to hell.