From the Files of Mr. Kenner-"Why Are You So Blue?" (5/14/10)

Uploaded by spaztasticmaxoid on 02.05.2010

(synth music)
"When I came down, the sun poured into me..."
"I shook 'em off, the walls came crumbling."
"My fists kept trembling with these salty wounds..."
"My stolen gold inside the emperors tomb."
"Now baby, wait, looks like a lovely face..."
(singing) I'm stickin' with you.
...'Cuz I'm made outta glue.
What is she doing?
...I don't know...
Jessica: No, no. Don't touch her.
Why are you so... blue, I guess-?
Jessica: Um... no, no, get off of her, please- Sparoh: It is a blue day.
(Jessica) A blue day.
(Sparoh) Don't you see it?
I see someone who's blue.
Today, we exercise...
...One's mind.
Let's see...
...That we are one.
I am going to go to the people... (?)
...And embrace them.
(Jessica) Um... embracing? Um... (Sparoh) Embrace the people-
-because we are brothers and sisters.
(Jessica) Bothers and sisters?
We are ONE!
We must have the will-
-and we...
...will FIGHT IT!
Because we are one!
The entire world.
Everybody! WE ARE ONE!
Hold hands.
(Jessica)...Hold- (Sparoh) Let us hold hands now. Become one. (Ola) One!
Feel the light! (Ola) The light!
I feel it!
I feel it!
I feel it!
I feel it! I feel it! I feel it! I feel the light! (THUMP)
(Ola) MOMMY! (Sparoh) Child, that was not the light you have just embraced.
...THAT was a bus that just hit you.
Child, are you okay?
-She is now going to embrace the light! -I see her! -Lookit! Do you see her?
Let us go.
-And embrace this- (Ola) Embraace!
One... en... ness...
Honey, come on
(Sparoh) Can you embrace it?
I did feel it, you know, I actually did feel it.
I did feel it: I FELT A BUS HIT ME.
Now, let's go! And don't ever talk to this lady again!
(Whiny sobbing)
I see. I see. Go on.
I see. I see. Go on.
(Jason) [Beatboxing through the tears] (Michael) [Writing] Depressed hyperventilation and beatboxing.
-Can you please explain to me why you are like this? -Oh, I can explain. I don't care. But you know-[more sobbing]
Well, since I can't seem to get any information from you, I invited your parents over. They should be here in about three seconds!
(Anfernee) Hey, how ya doin'? Jason, why are you so blue?
I'm- I'm not blue, I'm-
(Anfernee) And who are you?
I am the school nurseapist.
-So, I couldn't bring my wife today so I just brought Jason's older brother. -Heh! Look what I can do!
So, Jason, tell somebody what's wrong!
(sobbing) (Matthew) I got this, dad- JASON! Tell us what's wrong- (Michael) [writing]Inflicting... pain... gets... information.
It's true.
Um, I'll tell you what happened. Alright.
It all started in school today.
I was walking through the corridors, like how I used to-
And um, my espaƱol Spanish class is on the third floor, right wing.
-My math class, it's on the basement, left wing. The bell rings, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running more, and I run again- -Where is this going?
It's going somewhere just listen.
I tripped and fall, and I see my girlfriend-
-And she was like,
-"Bye, Jason, I have to go to class", and I was like- (sobs)
So, so she broke up with you?
(Michael) [writing] His first love broke his heart for the first time, and now he's like, "baby, baby, baby, oh".
-Jason, do you wanna go home? -I would- -Dad, he's definitely faking it!
-I'm not faking it- -Yes he is!
He's in his time of need, don't you see?
Dude, he's not even crying right now.
Uh- my phone's vibrating, I think I'm getting a text message. [fake weeping]
(reading) "Do u want 2 go out for pizza 2nite?" "Yes."
...So you were making it up?
-I w- I was just- -Jason- -Told you! I was right!
-Okay, Jason, since you lied to me, you get to stay in school! -Daddy, no! -Yeah, you're goin' to MILITARY school!
(more high-pitched, whiny weeping)
(Sophie) This is an intervention.
(Aranza) Yeah, you need help.
...Have you washed your hair recently?
...I dunno.
-Okay, we have to talk. -About what?
What's going on? Why are you like... this? Last time we met-
-you were... a lovely lady.
(crying) I'm just... going through such a tough time right now... (Aranza) Really?
And why is that?
I don't know, I'm just so sad lately.
Okay, I have an idea. Why don't you take a bath, and... we... are gonna be back with you in a few hours, okay?
Go wash up.
Okay, I think I'm ready to talk about this now.
Why are you so blue?
Well, the other day, I was riding my bike-
-her name is Clarice-
Clarice the bike?
-Her name was Clarice... she was my life...
So I just, I put her kickstand down, and I turned around, for like two seconds-
-...That's what led you to drugs and almost commiting suicide? -Yes!
Clarice got run over by a bus!
If we could get you a bike, let's call her Clarice Junior-
Wait- Clarice the Second.
-Okay, Clarice the Second. -Is there anything else?
Um... well... I just have this really big zit on my nose-
-It popped in like six spots (?) what if it doesn't come off?
It'll go off. We'll give you... zit lotion!
You can put in on every day, and it'll be gone-poof!-very quick.
-Are you sure? -Yes, so if we do those two things will you stop doing drugs and committing suicide or attempting to commit suicide?
I think so.
(Mr. K., from off) Thanks you guys.