Detective Conan Abridged (parody) Episode 7


Uploaded by martialmichael126 on 10.03.2010

Transcript:
I used to love her...
But I had to kill her.
I used to love her...
But I had to kill her!
I had to put her...
Six feet under...
And I can still hear her complain!
Dad, I'm home!
Y'know, I haven't heard from Shinichi in a while...
Don't you remember? He said he'll be back at the end of season two!
Yeah, but we're on episode 7!
How long could a season- hey!
How did you know what he said on the phone!?
Conan: It was on youtube!
Oh yeah!
And the 4th wall collapses with a huge thud,
Killing thousands in the process...
Coming!
[Screaming]
Doctor Ogawa: Sorry about that little guy.
Here, let me help you up.
I think I have a stalker or something...
2 years ago, I started reciving all these toys and cash in the mail.
Hmmm, got any kids?
Yes, five-year-old son named Yuta
And how much money do you get each month?
1 million yen
In total that's 25 million
25 MILLION!?!
I give the toys to Yuta, but I don't like free money
So I haven't touched it.
I'LL TAKE IT THEN!!!
WHAT DID YOU SAY!?!
I-I was just kidding
[Thining] Not.
Conan: You're a surgeon right? Could it be a patient?
Dr. Ogawa: Yeah, I suppose it could be.
Wait.
I never said I was s surgeon!
How the HELL did you know THAT?!
It's the cut on your fingers. All surgeons get them.
You're chock-full of it, aren't you?
I think it was awesome!
It was just like...
[trailing off] Just like...
You're a stripper, right?
Ran: [thinking] Just like... Shinichi!
This came in the mail.
Usually the money comes in a box, but this time
it came with a letter!
Hey, there's no barcode on these!
What the hell's a "barcode?"
Y'know... those stripes, on a box!
Actually, I belive they're called "zebra liney things"
And some of these toys are old, and damaged!
Maybe....
It's a practical joke!
Shinichi: Yeah, and Dragonball Evolution was a good movie!
Ran: [thinking] Dad doens't have a clue.
Conan's the one leading everyone down the right track.
Could.... could he really be...?
Say, could the person sending the money trying to be buying something?
Well, there is a painting in my office that's worth about 20 million yen.
TO THE HOSPITAL!!!
Excuse me doctor...
Some flowers have arrived for you.
Another one?
Kogoro: Morning glories?
Ogawa: I get them once every year on this day.
Maybe we should check the records
to see if there's a paitent that has something to do
with Febuary the 19th
Great idea, I'm glad I thought of it!
Ogawa: Here are the record for my paitents of the last 3 years.
Do... doc.... docto-
You know what, I'm pretty sure this has something to do with the painting!
Then, let's go have a look at it.
It's my most prized possesion!
Come on Conan. It's time to go!
I'm gonna wait right here.
Okay, behave yourself.
Are you a fan of Miss Suzumiya?
Ran: [Thinking] Oh my God!!!
It's not human!
I mean... look at how fast he's reading.
And the way he talks and acts...
It's just like Shinichi!
Wait a minute....
The day he dissapeared.... Conan showed up.
I've got it.
Shinichi was obducted by ailiens and Conan is their replacement
Nah, that's rediculous.
Shinichi was probably turned into a child
by some secret crime orginization.
Ran: [aloud] What are you doing.
N-nothing.
Did you find a clue?
Well, I've been looking at all the records for the past two years
and I've come up with three possibilities
But I'm not sure.
I'm sure you'll get it sooner or later.
You're a smart guy after all.
[giggles] Thanks Ran! [mispronounces "Ran"]
I knew it... you are Shinichi!
Wh-what're you talking about?
Shinichi: I am so screwed. What would a kid do in this situation?
Wow, it's a gameboy. And a copy of Link's Awakening!
I LIKE VIDEOGAMES!!!
Wha?
Die die die, it's so much fun stabbing things!
Ran: [thinking] You can't fool me.
Only Shinichi would call me "Ran"
Just to piss me off!
But wait a minute...that means.
That Shinichi...
Aww... I died.
Hey Ran you wanna play?
Ran: [thinking] That, that in the shower...
YOU BETTER FORGET... THAT YOU HEARD ME SINGING!!!
Y-yeah, if you say so!
Shinichi: Now where have I heard that name before.
That's it!!!
Here it is!
He was five years old when he died from "nintenditus"
NOW I SEE WHAT THE LETTER WAS SAYING!!!!
Ran, go get Dr. Ogawa or I'll kill you and your family!
Ran: [thinking] I'm positive it's him.
Shinichi always makes that joke.
What the hell's going on here?
I'm positive it's Tomoya Ogina's parents that are doing all this!
Ogawa: Oh yeah, that kid who died from "Nintenditus"
What the hell is "nintenditus?"
It's an over-exposure to Nintendo's products. It's very deadly!
Well, why would he send gifts if the surgery was a failure?
Because they're not gifts...
BUT TOMOYA'S PERSONAL BELONGINGS!!
Judging by the letter, and all the other crap we found
His parent's are trying to buy your son!
Quick, where is your son right now?
In school.
My wife should be picking him up any minute now.
In that case, order a pizza!
Ogawa: What? What do you mean you don't have any anchovies?
[guy on phone] Nobody likes anchovies no more ya sick bastard!
Fine, I'll order from somewhere else.
Shinichi: There's still a chance she won't make it in time!
Where's the school located?
Down the block, why?
Wait up!
Man: I have a present for you little boy.
Yay!
Am I still gonna get to meet your son?
Man: Indeed you are boy.
[thinking] Tamoya... you must be so lonely.
How about I send you a friend for you to play Mario Kart with?
Ogawa: Look, it's Yuta!
Shinichi: Holy crap, he's got a knife!
Aw man, I was way off with the whole "buying him" thing.
INCOMING!!!
What the hell was that?
Ogawa: YUTA!!!
Daddy!
Come any closer and he'll be covered in Koolaid!
Please, don't hurt my son!
There's nothing you can do to change my mind!
Please don't hurt me mister
I've instantly changed my mind!
Perhaps we should let this man go and not call the police.
Man: R-really?
Ogawa: Hell no, you coulda killed my son!
[dialing]
[Ringing]
Conan: I'm home!
Hey, where's Kogoro?
He went drinking!
Shinichi: Suprise suprise.
You know, my P.E. teacher's finally getting married.
Heh, you mean that Gorrila
[door shuts and locks]
Tell me Conan...
How do YOU know what he looks like?
I-I saw his myspace page!
Ran: Don't lie to me
Nobody uses Myspace anymore!
Um, actually...
Just admit you're Shinichi already!
[ringing]
Hello?
Shinichi: Hey Ran, vots up?
Sh-Shinichi? But, aren't you right here?
Shinici: I don't know vot your talking about, I'm right here... on ze phone.
Oh nevermind. It's good to hear from you again!
Say, how come you're talking like Prof. Agasa?
I uh, I don't know vot your talking about!
[captions by martialmichael126]
Narrator: NEXT CONAN'S USELESS HINT!
Conan: SPOONS!