CONVIVIUM - a short movie by Michaël Nakache (English subtitles available)

Uploaded by Shootmakers on 19.11.2011

With that deal l made 50 almost 60 grand...
Not bad!
Alright, cheers!
- To happiness. - Love and success.
So Eve...
- lt's Eve, right? - Yep.
Tanguy says you're a model?
That must be great!
Who are you working for? Calvin Klein?
Well, l'm not the regular model...
Remember the old TV ad for Gillette?
Shot by a swimming pool?
With the topless girls?
l remember that one!
That was you?
At one point there's a close up on feet...
They are mine! l'm a foot model!
Must be fun! l didn't know one could do that.
l'll be quick.
Are you gonna spend the night in the kitchen?
You're not sociable, they just got he...
Fuck! My financial advisor. That schmuck never sleeps!
Hi Jean-François!
Tanguy, take a look at this!
What's this?
"This" is the last Sony DCR-DVD 403.
The finest technology, 5.1 sound,
just like movies. 3 million pixels.
lt's amazing!
lt directly records on a DVD!
- Brilliant! Let me see... - Hold on a sec!
For all movie fans it's... it's...
lt's not a camcorder, not a video camera.
lt's a one way ticket to Hollywood!
- Let me see! - Careful!
l keep on filming!
That really blows us, honey!
Alright, let's do that. Yeah bye.
You're OK, babe?
Need a hand?
Pass the olive oil.
- She's dumb, isn't she? - Who?
The foot model!
Really? l think she's rather cute!
You don't know what art is.
All you do is waste money on clothes!
Yes, MY money since you got none.
That's right, l'm not daddy's little girl.
- l'm an artist! - Sure, an artist...
- Absolutely! - Yeah, sure.
l like them...
l like them.
When l was a kid, l stopped talking.
When my mum died that is...
l'd always go to the movies.
l felt comfortable there,
Well, Samy's gonna be late again so let's start.
Great idea, l'm starving!
Tanguy, wouldn't you like to work with Eve?
Cause she could...
No, mixing business with... no.
lt ruins couples.
Quentin, switch it off!
We're eating for god's sake! And you can't afford me!
Come on, let him practice!
Here he is! Samy, finally...
So, Eve, how did you meet our Casanova?
Yes, Tanguy!
- We met on speed dating. - On what?
Samy! At last!
Hi everyone. Sorry l'm late.
My moped died on me.
l had to pay 30 euros for a cab, it sucks!
The moped, that's a first, eh?
Go wash your hands and join us.
What were you talking about?
You were saying speed...
Speed dating, it's American.
You meet 10 chicks in 30 min and choose one.
l chose Eve!
10 chicks, 30 min?
How pretentious!
How romantic...
Very romantic! There were candles and music.
The place was beautiful, and the waiters very nice.
- Hello. - Hi!
Anything special?
Usual diner.
Fuck you!
l do what l want!
Can't you just be sober?
What do you care?
What do l care? You're a fucking alcoholic!
l'm an alcoholic?
Well you're just crap! You can't make a movie!
You got no talent.
You can't even use a camera!
You'll never be a director.
You're nothing but a loser.
Everybody makes fun of you!
- Not true! - Not true?
- Fuck you all! - You stay here!
Forget it...
And l know how to use a camera!
- Right? - Yeah, yeah.
No need to fight. What's happening?
Don't worry, keep on eating. lt's always like that...
Do you work?
l'm a foot model.
- ls that neat? - Yes...
Where's the toilet?
At the end of the hallway.
That's our secret now.
How do l cut the roast beef?
How? Slice it!
Did l say we're having tournedos?
But... l...
Need help?
Shit, Hugo!
Sorry l'll... l'll clean.
Excuse me.
l'll clean, l will.
Yes, yes.
What should l do?
Can you cut a roast beef?
Like a chef!
Gosh, Men!
How long have you been with Hugo?
Almost 10 years.
Oh, that's a while...
He used to be a womanizer but...
l broke him in!
Faithful too!
He's a good boy.
What about Cynthia?
They had something, right?
What makes you think that?
l don't know, something l sense.
They seem to like each other!
She never got over Hugo dumping her for me.
He still cares about her but she thinks it's love.
lt puts her at rest.
Doesn't it put you at rest?
Nadège, can you come?
- What now? - l... l clogged the toilet.
You're kidding!
Nope... lt's...
Sorry! l...
- What? - l'm done!
The roast beef. l'm done cutting it!
Could you put the cake in the oven?
lt's there.
You scared me!
You should be scared. You don't know what l'm capable of.
You don't look too mean to me!
Or so you think!
lt shows in your relationship.
What about it?
lt's clear who the boss is.
What do you mean?
You like to be yelled at, eh?
Are you out of your mind?
Forget what l said.
You're not getting away with this.
l don't wanna be a troublemaker...
But l think you're gifted, Quentin.
And if you let your girlfriend talk to you that way,
you'll lose your talent.
My talent?
Listen to your heart.
- lt wasn't spectacular enough. - Spectacular.
What do they want? A head chopped off live,
the video of a rape?
Not that much!
We got a Slovak concept, 3 channels already want it!
What is it?
Wanna hear?
Picture 2 huge houses
with 25-meter swimming pools,
20-acre yards, etc.
lnside, the whole deal:
212 hi-tech infrared cameras,
918 last generation mics,
broadcasted on satellite 24h a day
on the lnternet and on your mobile.
- Another Big Brother! - Yep.
But different:
in house one, 16 infertile couples,
in house 2,
a package of 16 orphans from 8 to 13 years old.
Each week, they kick one out. The last couple gets the last kid!
lt's heaven! lt's Orphan ldol!
- Orphan ldol! - A bomb!
- You're kidding! - No!
- No way! - Spectacular, that's what works!
- We're ahead of the US. - Yuck!
lt could be useful!
Have you ever seen an anteater?
No, what is it?
An anteater! lt's like...
A big hairy pig with a long snout
like a trunk.
lt only feeds on ants and termites.
And it can eat up to 30,000 a day
with its 60 cm tongue.
lt's fascinating!
- When l was... - You turn me on.
l wanna fuck!
How can you support this?
lf a poor kid can get a family, it's wonderful!
What about the left out kids? How wonderful for them!
Better than your shit movies anyway!
Watch out Cynthia, watch out!
Have me now or never.
Attention everyone!
l need to talk to you.
Tanguy, you're my mate.
You too...
l don't want you to get hurt
but... Eve and l are gonna leave.
You see...
Something's going on between us.
You don't understand, it's chemical...
You deserved it you bitch!
- What the hell? - l listened to my heart.
- l wanna listen to my heart too! - Samy, shut up!
- But... - Are you OK?
- Don't touch me! - Cynthia wait, l'll help you!
Don't even think about it!
See, that's art! l feel better now!
Are you nuts? She's a chick!
l get insulted, humbled all the time.
l take it every day. But l'm fed up now!
That bitch is eating up my talent!
But l had enough!
Come here. Where are the chairs?
An anteater...
Listen to your heart...
Listen to your heart...
And Orphan ldol? Orphan ldol!
God, Orphan ldol!
What a prick!
''You turn me on.''
''You turn me on'' she said.
That's what she said... l know, l've seen her...
She likes you, for sure. Tanguy?
Well, screw him. Fuck him!
Look, Tanguy...
Cause Eve, she's a real babe! She went ''Hi Samy!''.
Here's the plan...
Go back to the living room, laid-back.
Say ''Hi there'', acting cool.
Get Eve, French-kiss her and get out together!
lf love was gone, why didn't you dump her?
Do something, Quentin!
Drop it! She's a drunk!
Can l mute the TV?
She looks exhausted!
Tanguy, about earlier, l...
Samy, get off my back.
Let's forget about it, just don't mention it!
Chocolate cake!
A piece is missing!
Don't you know chocolate is comforting?
You think she...
She's got some nerve!
No thanks. l'm on a diet.
Of course! Tanguy, you want some?
You promised...
True, l promised.
- Diet? - Yep.
He put on 4 kilos.
Big deal!
What a cake!
Good, isn't it?
Well, thanks Nadège.
lt was a lovely evening!
Yeah right!
Don't you wanna stay for a drink?
We can't, l have a casting tomorrow morning
and fatigue shows, even on feet.
lf you say so...
Alright Hugo,
thanks a lot.
Drive safely.
Thanks again.
Drive safely.
See you soon.
So you're a little Casanova?
lt's a joke they made up years ago!
Don't you dare play with me!
Hey! That's a threat!
l'm sorry, Cynthia.
But you bug me, bug me and then...
l get carried away.
l'm the nervous type.
You didn't know that, right?
Don't pretend you're asleep!
Wow! l'm shattered!
Are you listening to me?
Hey, Babe?
[Newsreader] We just got news...
[Newsreader] concerning the killer known as "The Poisoner"
[Newsreader] in the Paris area.
[Newsreader] The Police showed no capacity in stopping
[Newsreader] the slaughter which generated a big panic.
[Newsreader] The killer appears to be...
[Newsreader] Louise Lamarre, a 25-year-old girl
[Newsreader] whose picture you see here.
[Newsreader] lf her identity was confirmed, it'd be the first time in France...
[Newsreader] that we'd be confronted to such a young female serial killer.
[Newsreader] Unlike other killers...
Are you OK, Samy?
[Newsreader] Sadly, reality can be worse than fiction.
What happened to him?
[Newsreader] Locked up in a mental hospital for killing her mother,
[Newsreader] she escaped 3 years ago,
[Newsreader] without being tracked.
[Newsreader] There's no logical pattern in her murders
[Newsreader] which explains...
[Newsreader] ln order to get any information
[Newsreader] that could be useful,
[Newsreader] a toll-free number is now available.
[Newsreader] We remind you that every detail matters
[Newsreader] since Louise Lamarre has already killed 48 people.
[Newsreader] That's it for tonight. Thanks for your attention.
[Newsreader] Don't forget the morning news tomorrow at 7 a.m.
Hold on, l'll go get smokes.
Honey! Your mobile!
You get it!
How are you?
No, he can't talk right now...
ls it important?
Yep, hello?
Wait Hugo, l can't hear you...
Hello? Hugo?
- Who was it? - lt was Hugo.
Hugo? What did he want?
To know if we got home safe.
What are you doing?
l'm calling him back.
l think they were in bed.
l'll call him tomorrow.
l got a surprise for you!
What is it?
- Thank you! - No!
Wait till we get home.
No eating in the car.
l thought l was on a diet.
A piece of cake won't kill you!
Translation: L.O.D