BETH GETS HOYT - 7/17/12 (Full Ep)


Uploaded by MyDamnChannel on 17.07.2012

Transcript:

BETH HOYT: Sillydizzydez.
Whoa, that was a close call, right, guys?
[MUSIC PLAYING]
BETH HOYT: Hey, you guys.
Today is Tuesday.
And today is a day to really start thinking about turning
off your computer noise.
It's the show.
Anyway, it's time to start thinking
about getting in shape.
Because the Olympics are coming up.
We have our My Damn Channel opening ceremony tomorrow on
the big Wednesday show.
So I've got one day to get in shape.
It's never too late.
It's never too late.
However, here's one of my setbacks.
That's me with a sprained ankle.
That's my first day at VidCon, as you maybe know
because I told you.
That happened when I went for a run.
Just went for a run.
One of those non-interesting stories of an injury.
I'm still recovering.
I'm ricing it.
The thing is, I'm an athlete.
That shouldn't happen.
I'm a young person.
My bones are fully dense.
I just had them scanned.
I'm a runner.
I'm a swimmer.
I'm a biker.
And then, just when you're grateful that you still have
your arms because your foot is injured, then this happened.
Yeah, I fell off my bike a few times on that one hand there.
It's a little swollen.
I fell off my bike into traffic.
I'm better now.
The swelling has gone down, obviously.
Now I just added biking to my list of fears.
It's a long list.
I can still go to spin classes indoors.
That's fine.
For now.
Well, not right now because I have the hurt foot.
Oh, and then this happened.
Oh, but actually, that's just an emotional
accident that I had.
I'm recovering.
Laughter.
Anyways, I'm a huge Olympics fan,
especially the Summer Olympics.
Are you?
Every four years, my social life gets a little shakedown
during those few weeks because I like to watch
every minute of them.
I lose a few friends in the process, but I gain a few more
because fanatics unite.
Now, I've already been really busy
watching all of the trials.
And I know all the key players.
I'm ready for them.
When the Olympics start, I'm going to be
majorly consumed by it.
This video I want to play now explains what I mean.
This is Linked Out's "It's the NBA Playoffs, She'll
Understand."
-So glad you guys were able to make it out.
-Where's Dave?
-Oh, he had to work late.
-Oh, that's too bad.
-Oh, it's really OK.
He really wanted to be here.
So he's going to Skype in so he doesn't miss anything.
-Hey, guys.
-Hey, Dave.
-Are you at home right now?
-Yeah, I got off early, just in time to
catch the fourth quarter.
Isn't that crazy?
-Record the game and get over here now.
-Honey, It's the playoffs.
I can't record it.
How can I post clever status updates and funny hashtags if
it's not live?
-Dave, do you think you can turn the camera towards the
television?
-No problem, dude.
-No.
Uh-uh.
Don't you dare.
-Can I get you guys started with some beverages?
-Get the fuck out of here.
-Excuse me?
-I'm sorry.
That's my inconsiderate boyfriend.
-Honey, the refs are killing us right now.
-Excuse me, sir.
Could you tell me the score?
-97-95.
-Holy shit.
I'm sorry, it's the playoffs.
-I think we'll just have water for now.
-Yeah.
-Hey, watch it!
-Oh, I'm sorry.
I'll get a towel.
-You guys only live a couple of blocks away, right?
-Don't even think about it.
-Dave, turn the game off.
-Guys, can you just sh for a second?
-You get your feet off of that coffee table right now.
-Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
-What happened?
-Oh, shit.
Did we win?
-Yeah, baby.
At the buzzer!
Yeah.
-Woo-hoo.
-Oh, yes.
-You like that?
Yes.
-That is how you do it, baby.
-You can leave now.
-I should.
-Dave!
Oh, I can't believe I'm talking to a webcam right now.
-All right.
-Dave!
-Thought I'd bring you guys something to
celebrate here, uh?
All right.
Cheers.
Woo.
-Son of a bitch.
-Hey, honey, bring me some chicken parm.

BETH HOYT: So for me through the Olympics, it will be
women's gymnastics is on, he'll understand.
What's your favorite sport to watch?
Archery?
Why?
Really though, I do want to know what your
favorite sport is.
Leave it in the comments.
I want to talk about that.
I want to talk about this all the time of all the days.
I also love watching swimming.
I really love watching swimming.
I also really love watching men's shoulders.
So tomorrow on the show, we'll be starting up our tribute to
the Olympics.
I'll tell you all about it tomorrow.
Also, tomorrow we have a brand new episode of Sandeep
Parikh's Save the Supers.
and a brand new episode of Co-op of the Damned.
And because I love you, and the Olympics make me so
excited, I want to give you another new video right now--
on a Tuesday.
This is a little something for the fans of
Co-op of the Damned.
Enjoy it, kids.

-I know that it hasn't been fair stringing you guys along
like this, but I--
honestly, I don't know what to do.
MALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN): Sorry, my bad.
MALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN): Smoke.
Just kidding.
Bah.
Red light.
MALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN): Sound speeds, camera speeds.
Light.
-So first and month.
I mean, first and shit.
MALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN): Cut.
-You'll edit that out.
-Hey, if you can clean, you can lean.
The other way around.
You'll get it.
-Look, I understand that your fucking laundry--
you're a dickhead.
-Such language.
-Ginkgo biloba.
I'm sorry.
I do have a very--
I speak French.
-My booty's so big.
My booty's so big.
My booty's so big.
My booty.
-I have diarrhea.
Do you really want to fuck with me?

-I want to lose your bleeps.

-Well, what's the next move, right?
To go up the shirt.
The bra starts to come off.
-I can be clever at improving, too.

[LAUGHTER]
-My booty's so big.

-Bless you.
-My god, stop sweeping because you're making Frank sneeze.
[LAUGHTER]
MALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN): Deader.
[LAUGHTER]
-You know how powerful your look is.
MALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN): Still speeding?
Are we all good?
-Well then, where were we?
MALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN): Just take a look, dude.
I mean, it's the gift that keeps on giving.
Trust me, brother.
-Who wants lemon squares?

MALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN): Do I want to rewind?
-When you got stuck on that roller coaster, who was there
for you, Lucy?
-Brains.
-No, I had the brains.
I got you off the roller coaster.
Understand?
-Brains?
-Who had the brains to remember your favorite color
and got you your favorite flowers on your favorite day,
George Washington Day?
-Gay.
[LAUGHTER]
-Nice talking to you, Tim.
TIM (OFFSCREEN): Fuck you.
-No, fuck you.

Right?
-My booty's so big.

-Pussy.
-Ow.

-Also, brains.

-This is Adjustment Bureau.
THEME SONG: McMayhem.
McMayhem.
What, you didn't know?
No, he ain't playing.
-If you don't mind, I'm with the Adjustment Bureau.
-Go ahead.
-I'm going to do some minor adjustments if that's all
right.
-All right, perfect.
-I'm adjusting people all day long.
-Oh, thanks.
-I'm with the Adjustment Bureau.
I went to FIT.
I know about fashion.
Women look at your shoes and also women look at your dick.
So you want your dick and your shoes to be just right.
Because you never know when you're going to run into that
butt that makes you want to jump up and down.
How do you say McMayhem in Korean?
-McMayhem.
-True.
Now, uh, take the jacket off.
-No.
-No, please, please, please, please.
-[SPEAKING KOREAN]
-Put your arms up.
Both arms up.
Both arms up.
You know, it's a sunny day.
You're wearing a nice belt.
It's a little punk rock.
It's a little chic.
Can I please just button one of your buttons for you,
please?
-No.
-Just one?
-No.
-Just one?
-No
-I can't push your buttons?
Now, you could take one of these earrings out and just
floss with one of these earrings on the left, just to
keep a gangster on one side.
Come on, you guys are shining stars.
Let me shine your glasses.
Let me shine your stuff.
Look at me, real quick.
This is going to be your last second.
-No, really.
No.
-No, no, no.
Wait.
-No hair gel, please.
-When go to the party tonight, you're not
going to have any boogies.
Check this out.
We have a winner.
We need deodorant.
Tuck it in.
Yeah, there you go.
OK.
All around.
All around.
All around.
All the way around.
You've been adjusted.
Got to get rid of that hat, though.
For me, for the world, and for Ed Hardy.
THEME SONG: McMayhem.

BETH HOYT: So fun.
We'll see the new episode tomorrow.
And I'll of course tell you all about our
Olympic stuff tomorrow.
And also, if you want to watch some more Co-op of the Damned,
check it out in the playlist on YouTube on our site where
we have more Co-op of the Damned.
Check them all out.
We have a new episode tomorrow.
And our guest tomorrow live, throughout most of the show,
doing an Olympic challenge with me and answering Twitter
and YouTube questions from you, It's King of the Web's
Luke Conard.
OK, and just to give you an example of-- if you don't know
how this works--
how we do live tweets, we're going to do some right now.
Actually, this is a live comment from YouTube.
Let's show how it's done, guys, in case they don't know.
This is from janssencox93.
"I love watching tennis and baseball!
Smiley face." Oh no, it's like this.
That's what it is.
Sorry.
I do too.
Baseball?
I don't know.
Do you love it?
I like it in the background.
It helps me concentrate because it lasts so long and
it's I think kind of boring.
I mean, I get how it can be thrilling.
But tennis, as you know, I love.
Federer--
this is from him.
Basically, I love watching women's and men's tennis.
I'm with you.
Let's talk about it as it happens in the Olympics.
Another comment from YouTube is from DemonTube1000.
"Beth, give me a live shout out.
My name is DemonTube1000."
DemonTube1000, DemonTube1000, DemonTube1000, I'm gonna shout
out to you.
That was more of a song and not a shout out.
And now I can't stop because I'm already in
the middle of it.
I just finished it.
Hey.
DemonTube1000--
are you regretting that now?
Are you regretting it?
I think I got pretty close to making you regret that.
And here's another comment from YouTube.
Lunaticial.
"Driving because I always amazed how they can jump in a
pool of wet with making little splash."
I think you mean diving.
Because--
well, driving.
That would probably make a big splash if a
car went in the water.
That'd be a cool Olympic sport.
That'd be an interesting thing.
And I'm sure they do that in the X Games, right?
Like, how many flips you could do in your car into the thing.
But I like watching diving, too.
I agree.
Waiting for that little slash?
That's good.
I like doing that.
I recently belly flopped.
I just played that in my head, when I did that.
I dove in front of a bunch of kids off a raft.
I haven't dove in a long time.
I belly flopped.
I'm embarrassed.
Now you all know.
It is still embarrassing as when you did it
when you're a kid.
And it does hurt.
All right.
Another comment is from DjMalik165616.
"Gymnastics."
I'm with you.
I am so with you 100%.
Any event.
I like watching all of them.
That balance beam makes me so nervous.
Isn't that part of the thrill of watching gymnastics is that
you feel a little bit scared the whole time?
The beam is almost too much for me, though.
It's like this for me.
But I love it.
I can't wait.
OK.
And I can't wait to hang out with Luke Conard tomorrow and
to hand him his silver medal.
Tomorrow I will probably be winning my first gold.
Unless I Hoyt myself before then.
See you tomorrow.